August 30, 2008

Top 10 5 Seahawks Opening Days

Week 1 has been brutally unkind to the Seahawks over the years. In fact, Seattle has the NFL's 3rd worst overall winning percentage on kickoff weekend. Cripes... They lost their first EIGHT openers in a row! When they finally won on kickoff weekend in 1984, Curt Warner tore up his knee and was lost for the year... Stupid Kingdome astroturf! The good news is that the Hawks are a somewhat respectable 5-4 in openers on Mike Holmgren's watch...

I was going to list the top 10 Seahawks opening day wins, until I realized that we only HAVE 11 opening day wins. For what it's worth, here's the 5 best opening-day wins for your Seattle Seahawks:

5. 1985: Seahawks 28, Bengals 24
Our first opening day win on the road, and the first opening day win NOT marred by a horrific injury to an All-Pro caliber player... Dave Krieg fired three TD passes and Curt Warner returned to the NFL with the game winning TD in the 4th quarter.

4. 1986: Seahawks 30, Steelers 0
I was at this game as an 11-year-old snot-nosed punk, and it was immensely satisfying to watch the Hawks just absolutely flatten another team. Sure, it was just a Pittsburgh team that would limp to a 6-10 finish, but fuck the fucking Steelers. Curt Warner trampled the steel wool curtain for 114 yards on 21 carries.

3. 2004: Seahawks 21, Saints 7This was a fairly unremarkable game, but I was there in the flesh to witness Shaun gallop for 166 all-purpose yards and 3 TDs in pre-Katrina New Orleans. As I wrote at the time...

there was a good ol’ Nawlins torrential downpour emptying its bowels upon us… As we waited and waited and waited for the streetcar that would take us to the Superdome we both got repeatedly soaked by passing cars… In a credit to all Saints fans, a cab driver in a Duece McCallister jersey spotted us and gave us a ride to the game (for free no less! I tried to give him some cash, but he declined)..

To get to the dome, we had to walk through a mall/hotel that was creepily similar to the mall in GTA:Vice City… There were probably ten people in Saints jerseys for every Seahawks one I saw.. The vast majority were Duece, but I thought it was cool that a few had old-school Archie Manning jerseys too (Hell, I saw one hawks fan in a Jim Zorn jersey).. The Superdome reminded me of something out of a 70s vision of the future.. Very Logans Run/Rollerball, mang..

The best way to describe the Superdome (particularly for northwesterners) is to compare it to the old Kingdome. Imagine that they spent another $50 mil on the Kingdome putting down carpet, installing escalators, enclosing the ramps to the upper deck inside the building, and making it feel like a swanky convention center from 1976… Still a nice enough facility, but certainly of a bygone era.. Even the jumbotrons were quaintly small and fuzzy..

The game was technically a “sellout,” but it was blacked out on New Orleans TV and there was MAYBE a crowd of 45k on hand.. my section was less than half full, and most of the people in it were Seahawks fans (I got my tickets through the Hawks.. got a special deal as a season ticket holder).. Generally the Saints fans were ok.. they seemed more interested in getting tipsy than giving me crap…

2. 2006: Seahawks 9, Lions 6
Yeah, it was a snooze of a game, but we gained a TINY measure of revenge on the city of Detroit for the way they handled XL. JB's game winner at the gun made all the idiotic abuse I took that day worth it...

I expect to absorb some abuse in any environment where I am rooting against the home team, but people around me from ages 8 to 88 harassed and insulted me for the entire afternoon (I mean it… Two little kids were screaming at me the whole game; one repeatedly yelled “Hasselbeck Sucks!,” while the other jibber-jabbered in my direction for a good two hours straight… a dessicated bearded guy who probably went to high school with Bobby Layne also got in a few jabs).

My wife argues that through the sheer decibel level of my cheering, I am an intolerably annoying fan. However, I didn’t curse and I didn’t say nasty things about the Lions unless out of retaliation. Here’s some highlights of how the Lions fans responded to me:

-Their favorite line of attack against me was “Hey, remember what happened the last time you guys played here?”

Weak. Just weak. Think about that. The Lions are so bedraggled that Detroit fans have to live vicariously through a Super Bowl team that HAPPENED to have ONE dude from their city on it (to all the people I saw with Steelers gear on at the game, twisting the XL* knife for nothing but naked spite: No fate is too horrible for you… There must be a few spaces for the likes of them at Gitmo, right?)

In fact, that was part of this high-minded exchange after the game:

Teenage Guy: “Seattle Sucks!”
Us: “Then why’d we just win the game?”
TG: “Why’d you lose the Super Bowl”
Us: “Why weren’t you IN the Super Bowl?”
TG: “Because we suck!”

Touche, dude.

I was encircled by a posse of the willfully ignorant…

When screwed with and accosted, I liked to cite Detroit’s lack of Super Bowl appearances and/or their 21-59 record since ‘01. That didn’t exactly get them to chillax. The guy behind me kept telling me that I should quit saying that because the Lions have “won a national championship.” I eventually figured out that he was talking about their 1957 NFL title, but for a second I wondered if he thought the Lions used to be a college team. This seemed like a plausible option, given that people surrounding me were screaming for their coach to ‘GO FOR IT!” on 4th and 10 from our 19 yard line in a tie game…

-Dumbest thing yelled at me? “Sit down, hobo!” It wasn’t even the old guy who might have BEEN a hobo yelling it, either…

-Most evil moment? The Lions fans around me who cheered when it looked like Hass might be seriously injured. Runners-up? The foul-mouthed latino kid next to me and his pal (a lead-chip poisoned version of Seth Green) whose level of discourse was just below what you’d hear in a Halo 2 rumble pit match…

There were a few reasonable fans; One kid came up to me and gave me props for “making the game fun..” However, on balance these people were an embarrassment to their city and organization.

As JB’s winning kick sailed through the uprights, I screamed at peak volume “JOSH BROWN IS A GOD!!!!” In fact, I bellowed so loud that I almost passed out… I had to sit down for a spell, but then as the Lions fans headed for the exits, I gave them no quarter.. In a low point even for me, I made a “W” sign and yelled “That’s for WIN and for WEST COAST, baby!”

1. 1998: Seahawks 38, Eagles 0
If you didn't see this game, it's really difficult to understand the reaction of Seahawks fans at the time. The Hawks went cross country into that outhouse of a stadium called The Vet and DOMINATED the Eagles. In every phase of the game, the Seahawks looked Super Bowl Bound. Warren Moon tossed three TDs, Joey Galloway had 6 catches for 142 yards and 2 TDs, and we had a running back tandem of Ahman Green and Ricky Watters that looked unstoppable. The defense? They just posted three takeaways, nine sacks and a pick-six TD.

Wooo! Nothing could stop us!

Not really, huh? We'd finish 8-8 (in part victimized by Testaverde's Phantom Touchdown) and Erickson would get shit-canned. Philly turned out to just be fucking abysmal. They'd finish 3-13 in 1998.

But for one day, anything looked possible.

See y'all on September 21!

I just booked my flights for that weekend, and I'll be there in the 325 to help taunt Josh Brown into a Jay Feeley-esque day...

August 27, 2008

It's NEVER ok to lose to Oakland.

I don't care that the level of play Friday night will barely be above an '87 scab game. I don't care that both teams will just be desperately trying to avoid any injuries before week 1. I still want to see the guys wearing blue beat the tainted, evil guts out of the goddamn Raiders.

They say that you have to be taught to hate, but it didn't take much instruction for me to develop a frothing, rabid hatred of the Raiders. After L.A. snuffed Seattle's Cinderella run in the 1983 AFC title game, my 8-year-old soul was crushed. Since then, everything about the Raiders organization has filled me with disgust and revulsion.

The perfect expression of this was at a game back in 1997, which the Seahawks won 45-34 behind a huge day from Warren Moon. At the time, my seats were in the very top row of the Kingdome in the south end zone. There was this clump of Oakland fans a few rows ahead of us, and the whole game they never shut up about how bad-ass, how tough the Raiders were. Even down by 11 very late in the game, with the Hawks running out the clock, they would not stop taunting us Seattle fans and preening like dirtbag peacocks. Finally, I snapped and screamed:


Only after the words escaped my mouth did I realize my chances of getting shivved in the parking lot just exponentially increased. Thankfully, I lived to tell the tale.

If you are going to the game tomorrow night and you run into any similar behavior, remind them of this inconvenient truth for Raider Nation. Since 2003:

Seahawks: 51-29 with 5 playoff appearances, 4 division titles, 4 playoff wins and an NFC title.

Raiders: 19-61. WORST in the NFL over the last 5 years. Best finish since '03? 5-11.

Commitment to excellence indeed. Kick their asses, Seahawks back-ups!

August 25, 2008

Future Seahawk in Training

Well, two complete bullshit calls somewhat spoiled a nice night for the Hawks in SD, but cheer yourself up with these pics of my two-year-old Jack spazzing out in all his Seahawks gear.


August 23, 2008

Top 5: Seahawks v. Chargers

Among Seattle's former AFC West enemies, the Seahawks only have an winning record against the San Diego Not-So-Super Chargers. The Hawks lost the first eight games in this series, making their 25-23 all time record against SD look a little more impressive (25-15 since November 1981, bitches!). PFR has the whole history of the series here, but here's my picks for the Top 5 Seattle victories in this rivalry:

5. 10/29/84 Seahawks 24, Chargers 0

On MNF, The Hawks shut out SD at Jack Murphy Stadium, powered by Krieg's three TD strikes to Steve Largent. This game was the start of a 4-game stretch that saw Seattle's defense allow only 20 total points. Perhaps the Chargers were still bummed about the Padres getting wiped out in the '84 World Series?

4. 11/16/81 Seahawks 44, Chargers 23

Another MNF tilt, and the first Seattle win over Dan Fouts and the mighty Chargers. Even if you don't remember the game (I don't), you've probably seen Dan Doornink's electrifying 80-yard TD scamper on some NFL Films highlight reel. Sure, the Chargers would go on to win the greatest game ever played, and the Hawks would meekly finish 6-10, but the 0-8 streak v. Air Coryell was over.

3. 9/15/85 Seahawks 49, Chargers 35

Both QBs had RIDICULOUS stat lines in this one...

Dan Fouts: 29/43, 440 yards, 4 TDs, 1 int
Dave Krieg: 22/32 307 yards, 5 TDs!!, 0 int

Speedster Daryl Turner? He just had 7 catches for 121 yards and FOUR TDs!

That's not an NFL game... That's Madden on the rookie setting.

2. 12/30/01 Seahawks 25, Chargers 22

As I said before...

The Hawks were still fighting for thier playoff lives in the penultimate game of the 2001 season, and it looked like they were about to blow a late lead. SD tied the game with seconds left, and OT looked like a lock.

I was home visiting the Tri-Cites, watching the game on TV with my family. The rest of you may have had a similar experience screaming this during the ensuing kickoff...


CR's big kickoff return set up Rian Lindell for the 54-yard game winner at the gun. Postively Josh Brown-ian, eh?

Trent Dilfer fired three TDs in probably his best performance in a Seahawks uni, with two of those being snagged by D-Jack.

1. 12/29/02 Seahawks 31, Chargers 28

Hass piled up 449(!) passing yards, led the Hawks back from a 28-14 4th quarter deficit, and, well.. I've talked about this before too:

This is also the game where Matt popped up after a late hit by noted dirtbag Rodney Harrison and told him that he "hit like a fucking fa@@ot."

Monday Night is just preseason, but this should still be fun.

August 21, 2008

The Big Show Spreads the Gospel of Dale, Saul, Red and "Thug Life!"

Holmgren took the Hawks to see Pineapple Express today, in an obvious effort to get the team to adopt the fighting spirit of Dale, Saul and Red.

There is nothing stopping us now. The message to the rest of the NFL is clearly this:

"War is upon you! Prepare to suck the cock of karma!"

Well, November 23rd just got more interesting...

I've talked in this space before about the blatant numbnuttery of Redskins owner Dan Snyder. Looks like Tom Cruise's favorite NFL owner is at it again...

WSJ: [Joe] Gibbs's tenure wasn't the same as it was the first time around when he led the team to the Super Bowl. What do you make of that? Did his time pass?

Snyder: No, I think if you look in the last three years we made the playoffs twice. We got close. We should have beaten Seattle two of those years and I think we would have had a lot of fun playing Dallas. But I think we just didn't finish. We got close but didn't finish. It's a shame that Joe felt that at 67 he needed to retire again. He just felt that he couldn't give it everything, the commitment.

Remember, he's pissed and moaned about this before:

Q: The NFC East has been a great division for years. Does the Giants
winning the Super Bowl give you inspiration?

A: "It's the best division. We think we should've been that team. Joe
(Gibbs) and I thought if we get through Seattle, we were very much looking forward to going to Dallas and then we were looking forward to the rematch in Green Bay. We owed them something. We were very, very comfortable with where we were. We just couldn't get out of Seattle. If that recovery by Anthony Mix had been a touchdown with the rule the way we'd like it to be, that game's probably over. I haven't brought it up this week because it looks like I'm a sore loser."

It's this kind of sharp, cogent thinking that has allowed Snyder to steward the Skins to a 68-76 regular season record since taking over in 1999.

Our 9-7 team wasn't simply barely above average!! We were powered by the Ghost of Sean Taylor!! Only an arcane rule kept US from being the team that ran through the Dallas/GB/New England gauntlet to a Super Bowl victory!!

What a doucher.

Let's give Dan and his boys a nice Qwest Field welcome this November, my minions!

August 19, 2008

That Bearded Nerd Saved Our Seahawks

Over on Seahawk Addicts they are commemorating the 11th anniversary of Paul Allen officially becoming the Seahawks owner, so I thought I'd add a couple of personal anecdotes to the mix:

I was still going to Western in 1997, and I hosted a weekly political talk show on KUGS-FM called "The Democratic Circus." In the weeks leading up to the special election about building that new football stadium, I was shameless in my support of the measure. Every week I'd exhort my meager lot of listeners to go out and vote yes on Referendum 48. It didn't seem like a very popular position. Remember that in the spring of 1997 the PNW was enjoying the afterglow of the M's 1995 playoff run, and was also still gripped in Supersonics fever... Remember this?

So I felt kinda isolated with my Joey Galloway jersey and my love for a team that hadn't even posted a winning record since 1990. I was terrified that R48 would fail, Paul Allen would bolt, and the team would quickly become the L.A. Blackhawks or something. R48 passed statewide by 51.1% to 48.9%, or by just a hair under 37,000 votes. That was far less than the throngs who packed the Kingdome for M's games back then.

I like to think I played a LITTLE part in R48's victory... Look at the Whatcom County (Bellingham) results:

Yes 23794
No 23361

Sure, only about 100 people listened to my show on a GOOD night, but I like to think that a good chunk of that 433 vote margin were folks swayed by my cogent, heartfelt arguments. :-]

My second little story illustrates how much things have changed since Paul Allen took over...

Every one has their own story about the 9/11 atrocities, but mine actually touches on the Hawks. My wife and I went to the season opener in Cleveland on 9/9/01 (imagine me in my brand-new Hasselbeck jersey, taking abuse all afternoon from those dog-bone-chomping fucks, only to see Rian Lindell split the uprights for the win at the gun. I'm shocked I escaped with my life after the stream of childish taunts that flowed out of my yap at that moment), and I was leaving the next day to visit my family and college friends in the Northwest. The plan was fly to Pasco, hang out with my family in the Tri, then go to Seattle and, among other things, catch the Chiefs game on 9/16.

We all remember that game was postponed after the mass murder of 9/11, and I understood why, but having a game to go to that Sunday sure would have made ME feel better.

I was out at breakfast that Sunday with a friend, wearing my usual outfit: Red Sox hat & Seahawks jersey. I admitted to her that I was depressed about the game being postponed, and this total stranger overhears me. He then snorts:

"Seahawks? Who gives a crap about THEM?"

I looked over to see this gastropod in an M's cap and a Ichiro jersey, obviously enjoying the Mariners' 116-win regular season... and hey, who could blame him? But I fucking SNAPPED.

"Who cares? I DO! I've been a fan since I was 8 years old.. I'd bet a million dollars you didn't own a scrap of Mariners gear before August of 1995, man..."

He gave me a VERY dirty look, but also shut the fuck up.

Now do a thought experiment: Can you imagine any scenario where that would happen NOW? I can't.

Thank you, Paul Allen.

August 16, 2008

Justin Forsett is Young Nastyman

I didn't get to see the game tonight. I followed it on, and just the play-by-play was astounding. Here's how I saw the game:

2-2-CHI 42 (10:31) 30-J.Forsett right tackle to CHI 21 for 21 yards (45-L.Peters).

1-10-CHI 10 (5:28) 30-J.Forsett left tackle for 10 yards, TOUCHDOWN.

1-10-SEA 18 (2:46) 30-J.Forsett right tackle pushed ob at SEA 32 for 14 yards (59-R.Wilson).

1-10-SEA 13 (14:54) 30-J.Forsett left tackle pushed ob at 50 for 37 yards (21-C.Graham).

1-10-CHI 36 (13:47) 30-J.Forsett left end pushed ob at CHI 21 for 15 yards (59-R.Wilson).

..and so on.

So I am dubbing him Young Nastyman (or YN), in honor of the Tenacious D anthem below:

Seriously, not having actually SEEN the game, if you told me that YN moved down field via levitation, or could kill a yak with mind bullets, or could slice a hydra's many throats with a broadsword, I WOULDN'T DOUBT YOU FOR AN INSTANT.

261 all-purpose yards? Seriously??? DAMN.

Welcome to the age of Young Nastyman. Nothing will ever be the same.

UPDATE: I call fucking bullshit on this... ESPN just showed the "highlights" from the game and there was NO MENTION of Young Nastyman.. Just blather about Chicago's two shitty-as-fuck QBs. Fucking Bristol Assfuckers.

UPDATE 2: Here's YN's highlight package on

UPDATE 3: Here's's highlight package for the entire game

August 15, 2008

DKSB Smacks Down Dallas Fans From Coast to Coast

I was out at Franklin Park Mall in Toledo today with my son, and Jack was wearing his Hasselbeck jersey. This rando dude working at a cell phone kiosk says to me:

"Hey, you should get your kid a T.O. jersey!"

My reply: "Cowboys fan huh? How's that been working out for you lately? You haven't done that great against the Hawks, huh?"

Him: "13-3 last year, man!"

Me: "0-1 in the playoffs, man.. haven't won a playoff game in 12 years. At least the Hawks, you know, win playoff games."

Him: "Seattle sucks.. What were you, 8-6 last year?"

Me: "10-6.. and actually won a playoff game... We'll see you on Thanksgiving, dude."

Just as a reminder, here's Tony Romo's most notable playoff moments:

Yeah, I'm TERRIFIED of Dallas, aren't you? :-]

August 14, 2008

An Urgent Plea From DKSB

I'm not only out here in the midwest.. Now I'm out visiting my in-laws who don't have NFLN. So I won't be able to watch the Bears game until Tuesday morning. Ugh.

Is anyone watching the game live on Saturday interested in live blogging the contest for us poor saps who can't see it?

5-Time Oscar Winner Kirk Lazarus Has Advice for the Seahawks and Their Fans...

1. Never go full retard.

2. Don't be afraid to be a lead farmer, Mother F@#*ers!!!

3. Go see Tropic Thunder immediately. It's piss-yourself hilarious.

August 13, 2008

Let's Go Springfield Hawk Sox!! Woo!

I'm in (and running) a single fantasy football league on yahoo this season, and one of the things I HATE about FF is when people end up with divided loyalties between their real NFL team and their fake make-believe team... So we'll see how this strategy works out: I'm not drafting any players from teams the Seahawks play against... Plus, no Steelers either. Fuck those guys.

Yup. I'm not drafting any players from 14 of the league's 32 teams. My one bit of wiggle room is that I may let myself pick up players from, say, Buffalo AFTER the Seahawks play them. I'm guessing this is going to wipe out my chances of winning my league, but if I'm at all competitive, I'm going to declare myself a genius. Plus, I get wayyy too much enjoyment from just being the Commissioner, making up the rules, all that nerdy shit.

But then again, I never play Madden because I cannot bring myself to play it the entire week after a Seahawks loss. So yeah, I'm completely mental.

August 12, 2008

I'm Way Too Concerned About Which NFL Teams Fictional Characters Root For

On this week's episode of The Venture Brothers, Walking Swedish Murder Machine/Super Kill Guy/O.S.I. Man Brock Sampson is revealed to be... A Minnesota Vikings fan. Makes sense I guess, but I was still disappointed that possibly the most-badass fictional character of all time probably spends his Sundays wearing one of those Viking hats with the blond braids hanging off the sides... So I started thinking: Who would be the fictional character I'd most want to be a Seahawks fan? My one main rule is that the character has to be from/live in Washington state.

Here's the contenders...

-Max Guevara (Jessica Alba) in Dark Angel

Pros: Is very hot, kicks a lot of ass. Would look great wearing nothing but a Hasselbeck jersey.

Cons: In the show, the US circa 2019 has been plunged into chaos by an electromagnetic pulse. I kinda doubt the Seahawks still exist at that point.

-Gordon Freeman from the Half-Life games

Pros: Kills aliens and other living things with a crowbar, has a beard.

Cons: Never talks in the game; might not be very useful as a "12th man"

-Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) in Say Anything

Pros: Is able to score with Ione Skye, doesn't want to sell anything bought or processed, plans to be a kickboxer for a living.

Cons: Would rather follow his GF to England than stick around for football season. Douche.

-David Lightman (Matthew Broderick) in WarGames

Pros: Sweet computer hacking skills, breaks out of NORAD

Cons: Ordered a simulated nuclear strike on Seattle, didn't hack Tecmo Bowl to get rid of Seattle's pink uniforms (yes, I know Tecmo Bowl didn't come out until 1987, but he could have found a way).

-FBI Special Agent Dale B. Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) from Twin Peaks

Pros: Has backward-talking midget dreams, is actually revealed to be a Seahawks fan in a 1990 MNF promo.

Cons: Didn't ever hook up with Audrey Horne (damn.. Sherilyn Fenn was hot back then).

What do y'all think? Did I miss any good ones?

August 11, 2008

Engram out 6-8 weeks, Seahawks will still start 3-0.

Yup, you can go all Chicken Little if you like, but it says here that the young WRs will step up and we'll still win at Buffalo and at home against SF and STL. Remember that the Bills are 1-6 in thier last 7 home openers (and the Hawks are 4-3 in road openers over the same period), and that we've gone 10-2 against SF and STL since 2005.

The young guys will get a ton of valuable reps over the next three weeks, and Engram & Branch will be back on the field after the bye for the NYG game.

So for the love of Jeebus, hold your water, y'all.

August 10, 2008

DKSB's Official 2008 NFL Predictions

This time, he's bringing that sucker back to Seattle with him.

It’s that time… I’ve gone through the entire 2008 NFL schedule game-by-game and here’s what I came up with.. Enjoy and the Opine!

NFC West
Seahawks 12-4
Cardinals 7-9
Rams 5-11
49ers 3-13

NFC North
Vikings 10-6
Lions 7-9
Bears 5-11
Packers 5-11

NFC South
Bucs 10-6
Saints 8-8
Panthers 6-10
Falcons 3-13

NFC East
Cowboys 12-4
Eagles 9-7
Giants 9-7
Redskins 8-8

NFC Playoffs

Wild Card: Vikings 24, Giants 10; Eagles 27, Bucs 24 (OT)
Divisional: Seahawks 37, Eagles 21; Cowboys 26, Vikings 24
NFC Championship: Seahawks 28, Cowboys 27

AFC West
Chargers 14-2
Broncos 9-7
Raiders 5-11
Chiefs 5-11

AFC North
Browns 10-6
Steelers 8-8
Bengals 8-8
Ravens 4-12

AFC South
Jaguars 12-4
Colts 11-5
Texans 9-7
Titans 8-8

AFC East
Patriots 13-3
Jets 9-7
Bills 6-10
Dolphins 4-12

AFC Playoffs

Wild Card: Jaguars 35, Texans 14; Colts 34, Browns 28 (OT)
Divisional Round: Chargers 23, Colts 19; Jaguars 16, Patriots 14
AFC Championship Game: Chargers 20, Jaguars 16

Year-End Awards

NFL MVP: Matt Hasselbeck, Seahawks
Offensive POY: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
Defensive POY: Antonio Cromartie, Chargers
Offensive ROY: Jonathan Stewart, Panthers
Defensive ROY: Vernon Gholston, Jets
Coach of the year: Gary Kubiak, Texans


Chargers 9 7 10 7 -33
Seahawks 0 7 14 14 -35


SD: Shawne Merriman sacks Matt Hasselbeck in End Zone (SD 2-0)
SD: LaDanian Tomlinson 56 yard TD run (SD 9-0)
SEA: Engram 15 yard pass from Hasselbeck (SD 9-7)
SD: Darren Sproles 65 yard punt return (SD 16-7)
SEA: Carlson 24 yard pass from Hasselbeck (SD 16-14)
SD: Nate Kaeding 52 yard FG (SD 19-14)
SEA: Tatupu 36 yard interception return (SEA 21-19)
SD: Gates 7 yard pass from Rivers (SD 26-21)
SEA: Jones 27 yard run (SEA 28-26)
SD: Tomlinson 1 yard run (SD 33-28)
SEA: Branch 12 yard pass from Hasselbeck (SEA 35-33)

XLIII MVP: Matt Hasselbeck

28/37, 304 yards, 3 td, 0 ints

For the record, here’s my grid of how every regular season game is going to turn out…


August 9, 2008

Seahawks 34, Vikings 17

I don't have any sparkling insight about last night's game that would top anything you'd read on Field Gulls or Seahawk Addicts, but I'll throw in my two cents...

-Was the game in HD on KONG? If not, that would explain why I had to endure the Vikings announcers for the whole broadcast. Ugh. (For those new to NFLN, they usually show one team's broadcast in the first half and throw it to the other team in the 2nd.) However, I'd rather mute the announcers and watch in glorious HD than punish my eyeballs with standard definition TV.

-Yeah it's just preseason, but winning > losing. We don't get another shot at Minnesota until the playoffs (if they make it), so I took a bit of extra joy in beating the team that stole Hutchinson and effed up Beck's knee back in '06.

-It's nice to root for a team that seems like it has too many good players, doesn't it?

-I can't imagine the pressure on the players trying to just hold onto a roster spot. We can flap our gums about how privledged these guys are to be playing a game for a living, but I know that there's no way I could handle the "do-or-die" pressure these guys face day-to-day (coupled with the constant threat of violent injury and/or permanent disability)... Maybe that's why tenure sounds so awesome to us nampy-pamby academics.. Ha ha.

-Total off-topic comment: I'm watching DC play the Bills right now, and Buffalo's OJ-era throwbacks are WAYYYYYY cooler than those pathetic USFL-CFL-Arena-esque unis they usually wear.

August 8, 2008

No Alarms and No Surprises Please

Field Gulls and Seahawk Addicts do a great job of covering the actual position battles of this preseason... Justin Forsett or Owen Schmitt? Which WR(s) will step up? How is the D-line rotation going to shake out? Etc.

I'm a football geek, but I'm not going to pretend that I have an informed opinion about who should be cut/kept. At least, I know I'm not as knowledgeable as Ruskell, Holmgren, etc. More or less, I trust they'll make the right choices about who to keep, who to cut, and who to stash on the practice squad.

So what does preseason mean for me? It's a grim, nervous form of semi-torture where I just hope to God that no key players get injured. Let's face it: If Hass or Big Walt or Lofa blow out a knee tonight, our season is frakked. I'd be perfectly happy if they stayed off the field entirely.

I'll be watching the replay on NFLN tonight, of course. Us poor bastards out of King/Kong range don't get to see this one live. Ooh, there's an idea.. Someone should liveblog the game for those of us out in the wilderness. Any takers?

I'll leave you with the super-creepy Radiohead video I took this post's title from... Enjoy!

August 7, 2008

DKSB 2008 NFL Pre-Season Power Rankings

Yes, I am a TOTAL loser. I went through the entire 2008 regular season schedule and played it out in my head game by game (ESPN has a nice schedule grid that helps you out if you feel like doing likewise). Here's how I project the teams will finish in terms of regular season records ONLY. I'll be posting my complete, official division-by-division and playoff predictions in massive detail later this month...

32. 49ers
31. Ravens
30. Raiders
29. Dolphins
28. Falcons
27. Chiefs
26. Lions
25. Bears
24. Packers
23. Bills
22. Rams
21. Cardinals
20. Panthers
19. Bengals
18. Redskins
17. Jets
16. Titans
15. Steelers
14. Texans
13. Saints
12. Broncos
11. Eagles
10. Browns
9. Giants
8. Vikings
7. Buccaneers
6. Colts
5. Cowboys
4. Jaguars
3. Seahawks
2. Patriots
1. Chargers

August 6, 2008

Favre Traded to Jets; Will Give Seahawks Interceptions as Xmas Gifts

Brett Favre has been traded to the NY Jets, and I couldn't be happier.

Mark it dude: It'll be a very big day for Seattle DBs on December 21st.

My instant analysis is that this is about the best deal that the Packers could have hoped to get... They kept Favre away from Minnesota, got him out of the NFC to a team they don't face in the regular season, and got SOMETHING in return.

You heard it here first: Neither the Jets or the Packers will make the playoffs this season.

Finally... We get TWO chances to avenge last year's playoff loss at Lambeau Field... Once against the Pack, once against Favre, both at Qwest.


UPDATE: KSK already posted this pic of Favre as a Jet.. From Madden 09. I don't believe in the Madden Curse, but I hope Favre creates more evidence for it this year... heh. Isn't it going to be a tad embarassing for EA that they have him on the cover in his GB duds?

Big Comebacks Aren't Seattle's Forte

The recent discussion of the most dramatic Seahawks victories got me thinking: What are the biggest comeback victories in Seattle's NFL history? I spent some time digging through PFR, and here's what I came up with...

My sole criteria is this: How many times have the Seahawks overcome a 2nd-half deficit of 15 or more points to win? Any time a team comes back from a deficit larger than two TDs in the second half is pretty damn impressive in my book.

(Side note: The NFL didn't adopt the two-point conversion until the 1994 season.)

What I found was that over 32 seasons, the Seahawks have had very few "big" comebacks... Here they are:

18 points

12/14/97 Seahawks 22, Raiders 21 (Hawks trailed 21-3 at the half)

The Seahawks were 7-8 and out of playoff contention, so youngster Jon Kitna got the start at QB in Oakland against the pathetic Raiders. Those who turned the game off after the putrid first half missed an electric come-from-behind triumph punctuated by a 49-yard game winner by Todd Peterson. Oh Kitna, so much moxie... such limited talent.

17 points

12/10/95 Seahawks 31, Broncos 27 (Hawks down 20-3 at the half)

For those of you old enough to remember, this memory is probably particularly vivid.

I was going to Western at the time, and living in the Fairhaven dorms. It was final exam time, and instead of cramming I was glued to the Hawks matchup against the hated Broncos. As the game went on, my textbooks started to look more appealing than witnessing another Elway-administered beatdown. Denver led 20-0 at one point, and even after a Peterson FG, it was 20-3 at the half.

Denver was deep in Seattle territory early in the 3rd, about to make it 27-3. The Hawks gambled on D, sending Robert Blackmon on a safety blitz. Blackmon obliterated Mr. Ed and Antonio Edwards scooped up the fumble and rambled 83 yards for a TD that completely shifted the momentum. I leaned out my dorm window and brayed like a farm animal after that one...

Seattle still trailed 27-17 in the 4th, but rallied for two late touchdowns, creating one of the greatest moments in the Hawks/Broncos rivalry.

Yup, that's only twice in 517 games. The upside is they were both on the road against our fiercest divisional rivals, hopefully spoiling the xmases of a lot of Raiders/Broncos fans.

There's a few notable combacks from 13 or 14 point 2nd-half deficits, but that's a story for another time.

August 5, 2008

The August Issue of Sports Northwest Magazine: Why not buy 10 copies?

At newsstands throughout the PNW, you can pick up the August issue of Sports Northwest Magazine. It's a great mag, and you should ALWAYS be buying/reading it, but this month's issue contains a contribution from yours truly.

Check it out if you get a chance, y'all.

Top 10 Most Dramatic Seahawks Victories

If you're my age (33) or a bit older, you probably have vivid memories of

"Alcoa Presents... FANTASTIC FINISHES!"

Every Sunday, at the 2-minute-warning commercial break, that music would start (Da.. da-da-da.. Da-da-da.. DA!) and you'd get highlights from some crazy finish to some previous NFL game (for some reason, I always think of White Shoes Johnson catching and scoring on a '83 Hail Mary to beat the Niners)... Below are what I rate as the 10 greatest "Fantastic Finishes" in Seahawks history. The criteria?

-Only Seahawks Wins
-The winning score must have happened late in the 4th or OT
-Extra points for big comebacks that culminate in victory
-The "Holy Crap!" factor: How surspring/shocking is the result?

Here we go.. The links go to the Box Score from PFR

10. 11/30/92 Seahawks 16, Broncos 13

Yeah, I've talked about this one before, but it was freaking AWESOME... Like I said:

Both offenses flailed about like two drunk sorority chicks in a cat fight, and the Hawks were somehow only down 13-6 in the final minutes... A face-mask penalty on a punt return set us up at the Denver 35, but it still felt like it would take a miracle to put 7 on the board. Somehow Stan Gelbaugh got us inside the 10, and on
4th and goal he hit Brian Blades for the tying TD. Blades did some stupid early-90s celebration dance and the Kingdome crowd erupted like it was 1984 all over again. In OT John Kasay booted Seattle to only its 2nd win of the season, and Denver spiraled to a 8-8 collapse and an Xmas at home just like the pathetic Seattlites.

It was one of the only bright spots of 1992; I remember running out onto my front yard and screaming "SEAAAAAAHAWWWWWKKKKKSSSSSS!" into the night after that win.

9. 9/21/03 Seahawks 24, Rams 23

Remember the days we had awful trouble beating the Rams? Back in early 2003 the Hawks were desperate to prove they were for real, and they gave the NFL a taste of the playoff run yet to come on a beautiful September afternoon.

This game often gets forgotten because Seattle went on to lose four in a row to STL after this, but it was still an amazing, dramatic comeback win. The Hawks clawed out of a 23-10 4th quarter hole, and Hass hit K-Rob for the winning TD with just seconds remaining... Leaving me looking like this:

8. 12/30/01 Seahawks 25, Chargers 22

The Hawks were still fighting for thier playoff lives in the penultimate game of the 2001 season, and it looked like they were about to blow a late lead. SD tied the game with seconds left, and OT looked like a lock.

I was home visiting the Tri-Cites, watching the game on TV with my family. The rest of you may have had a similar experience screaming this during the ensuing kickoff...


CR's big kickoff return set up Rian Lindell for the 54-yard game winner at the gun. Postively Josh Brown-ian, eh?

7. 11/21/04 Seahawks 24, Dolphins 17

A personal story here: In the fall of 2004, my wife and I were living in Columbus (in a semi-crappy "apartment home"). I was miserable in my graduate studies, so a Seahawks game each Sunday was a nice little ray of light for me. That day, I thought "Oh, here come the 1-8 Dolphins. Nice win coming our way.. 6-4 and in good shape for the playoffs."

Um, no. The game became a grim death struggle, and Miami had the ball in our territory late in a tied game. A humiliating, playoff-hope-killing loss seemed inevitable. My wife was napping upstairs, and I tried to be somewhat quiet for her sake.

When Boulware stepped in front of that slant pattern and took it to the house, despair became unbridled joy, and I woke my poor wife up with my blood-curdling screams.

6. 10/15/06 Seahawks 30, Rams 28

This wasn't just a great finish... It was one of the greatest games in Seahawks history. As I said before... The Hawks came back from a 21-7 halftime deficit, overcame a back-breakingly spectacular TD catch by Torry Holt, won on a 54 yard FG at the gun, and made Scott Linehan look like a jabbering idiot.

5. 9/21/86 Seahawks 38, Patriots 31

A great moment in that glorified high-school stadium New England used to call home. Seattle trailed 31-21 late in the 4th, and there was little reason to expect anything other than another disheartening road loss.

A Norm Johnson FG got the Hawks within 7, but the Hawks still needed to get the ball back with less than two minutes left. Paul Moyer recovered a blocked punt in the NE end zone to tie the game, and after a Patriots 3-and-out Dave Krieg hit Ray Butler for a 67-yard TD with less than a minute left.


4. 11/3/96 Seahawks 23, Oilers 16

An unremarkable game in a forgettable season... Except for the finish. Game tied at 16, with Houston trying a chip-shot FG for the win on the final play of regulation. In a matter of seconds, a sure defeat became overtime (with a blocked FG attempt), and overtime became a Seahawks win when Robert Blackmon streaked into the end zone for the winning score.

3. 10/23/05 Seahawks 13, Cowboys 10

One of the all-time blood-pissers in Seahawks history, which saw Seattle trailing 7-3 late in the 4th quarter. A Hasselbeck interception set Dallas up inside our 20, and they just needed a first down or a TD to ice the victory. On a crucial 3rd down play, the D blasted Bledsoe out of bounds inches short of a first down, and they settled for a FG... You know what happened after that..

-Ryan Hannam's sliding TD catch to tie the game...
-Big Play Babs picking off Bledsoe and streaking down the sideline into FG range...
-JB's tossing his helmet and being mobbed after hitting the game winner...

I could watch the last two minutes of that game on a loop until time ends.

2. 12/31/83 Seahawks 27, Dolphins 20

25 years ago, the Seahawks notched the only road playoff win in team history, and it took a frantic 4th-quarter comeback to get it done. After Dave Krieg hacked up a pick-six and the lead, the Hawks showed amazing toughness marching downfield to take the lead back in the final two minutes. Krieg threw two perfect strikes to Largent, and Warner took it in for the decisive score.

This is still one of the biggest upsets in NFL playoff history.

1. 11/11/90: Seahawks 17, Chiefs 16

There really wasn't any doubt about this one, was there? If you didn't sit through that game, seeing Seattle take a lead-pipe beatdown all day, it's hard to comprehend how hopeless things looked when the Hawks got the ball down by 6 with less than a minute left. For an added degree of difficulty, they were at Arrowhead, where Seattle NEVER seemed to win.

Derrick Thomas was The Terminator that day, racking up 7 sacks. However, just like the T-800, he ended up getting (metaphorically) crushed in an industrial press. On the final play of the game, 25 yards from KC's goal line, Krieg slipped away for what seemed like the only time all day, and threw a DART to Paul Skansi for the most improbable victory in Seahawks history.

Side note: I hit my head on the basement ceiling celebrating that touchdown. I didn't notice the headache for a couple of hours.

UPDATE: A few people have asked about the Dallas wild card game and the 2005 Giants game. Certainly both endings were dramatic, but in my mind, they were both a little too dependent on the other team frakking up. That's just my opinion, and you can make strong arguments that they should be on the list.

August 4, 2008

EA Sports Flunks Seattle Geography

I stumbled upon this set of flickr photos from Madden 09, and as you can see, EA sports got pretty lazy about getting basic Seattle geography right. The last time I visited Seattle, the Space Needle wasn't in Qwest Field's north parking lot. In fact, the needle is about 2.3 miles away, according to our good friends at google maps.

Nah, having a monopoly wasn't going to make EA complacent or anything... Are there pictures out there of Congress next to FedEx Field? Or the Statue of Liberty in the Meadowlands parking lot? I doubt they'd get that sloppy with any place but "South Alaska."

There's a lot more mistakes in that picture, but I'll let all y'all point them out in the comments... Have fun!

August 2, 2008

NFL Network Re-opens XL Wounds

The NFL Network is running one of its "Top 10" programs, and this time it's the most controversial officiating calls in NFL history. At number 8?

Super Bowl XL.

How can it only be number 8? Sheesh. At least they acknowledged reality and put it on the list, I guess.

To NFLN's credit, the segment on XL seems to acknowledge the officiating mistakes, and the only talking heads willing to defend that travesty of a Super Bowl were tied to the Steelers. In addition to Boomer Esiason criticizing the XL officiating, there's also some dude from the Providence Journal, Clare Farnsworth and Steve Raible.

Tellingly, it's not scheduled to air again after about, oh, two hours from now (2 am central time, midnight on the West Coast). So tivo the replay of it if you can...

Side note: Sitting through that segment was the first time I've willingly watched any XL footage since the week after the game. My seething hatred of Pittsburgh, the Steelers, Bill Leavy, and the City of Detroit has not even come close to ebbing.

and I would really like to beat that entire officiating crew to bloody pulps with that tainted Lombardi Trophy... GTA IV style.... While I'm at it, I'd give Hines Ward, Jerome Bettis, Joey Porter and Bill Cowher a few good whacks as well.

Not that I'm bitter or anything.

UPDATE: For the record, Pittsburgh benefitted from 3 of the top 10 most controversial calls of all time. Seriously. Fuck those guys.

August 1, 2008

Season Ticket Package Details!

Damn, the Seahawks treat the fans right. Here's what I just got in the mail via FedEx:

-My 2 season tickets... Who's mug is on each ticket?

Bears: Chris Gray
Raiders: Leroy Hill

Regular Season
Niners: Trufant
Rams: Burleson
Packers: Hass
Eagles: Lofa
Cards: Big Walt
DC: Deon Grant
Patriots: Kerney
Jets: Holmgren

-Seahawks 2008 Team Yearbook (face value $10)

-Full-size 12th Man Flag (with list of all the people who have raised the flag before games at Qwest). I bought one of these last year for $40, so now I have a back-up piece, so to speak.

This is brilliant... You'll have about 60,000 houses who can fly the colors this fall. Smart move, Ruskell.

-A shit-ton of coupons, info flyers, etc.

So the Hawks gave 60,000 people gifts with thier tickets that add up to a $50 value if you tried to buy them off the street. That's a great sign that we root for a class organization that cares about the fans.

I have a friend who's Dad just got Vikings season tickets. She asked him what cool gift THEY got, and he sheepishly admitted that they got ZILCH.


Most Disappointing Seahawks Season?

We stand on the verge of perhaps the most anticipated season in Seahawks history. Not only does the team have VERY legitimate Super Bowl aspirations, but with the Sonics fleeing and Mariners floundering, the Hawks also bear the burden of Seattle's very civic pride.

Of course, I think this season will turn out great; but I'm an optimist at heart. I've felt this way before and been bitterly, savagely disappointed. The following seasons started out with spectacular promise and ended in a fog of confusion and anger. I present them to you in chronological order. Enjoy!

1985 (8-8)

Seattle was coming off a 12-4 campaign without Curt Warner, so his return to the line-up meant a sure trip to Super Bowl XX, right? Playboy Magazine thought so, and so did my 10-year-old ass.

This was the year the Hawks won 2, lost 2 (repeat three more times for 8-8 record)... Given that the 1985 Broncos were the only 11-5 team to EVER miss the postseason, and they swept us, Seattle's fate was sealed before Thanksgiving with the loss that sent the Hawks to 6-5. However, we didn't know that at the time, and if you look at the numbers this was a respectable team: 8th in points allowed, 13th in points scored. A lot of players, particularly Steve Largent, had awesome individual seasons.. In '85, it just didn't add up.

1999 (9-7)

Holmgren's first campaign brought only the 2nd AFC West title in Hawks history, but the aftertaste was like a mouthful of Shaq-ass. It began with an 8-2 start, a glorious MNF win at Lambeau Field, and Ricky Watters punctuating a rare Arrowhead win with one of the NFL's last legal "throat-slashing" gestures.

In week 11, Warren Sapp and the Bucs physically whipped the Hawks and forever exposed Jon Kitna as an at-best average NFL QB. The '99 Hawks never really recovered, and the season ended with an embarrassing home Wild-Card loss to Miami (made even worse by the Fins going down 62-7 the next week in Jacksonville)... I was at the Hawks final regular season win at the Kingdome (a crucial win over KC), and it was as loud that day as it's ever been at Qwest...

The 12th Man never gave up, but those '99 Hawks faded BADLY down the stretch.

2002 (7-9)

New stadium! New uniforms! Same. Old. Seahawks.

It seems really weird now, but we were pretty excited about our prospects behind Trent Dilfer in '02 (Hasselbeck? Pfft. He SUCKS!). Number 4 was unlucky in 2002, getting hurt in preseason, and generally playing like white dogshit until he popped his Achilles in Dallas.

We tend to focus on the strong finish to 2002, where Seattle went 6-4 down the stretch.... That 1-5 start was a brutal kick in the teeth though, wasn't it?

2004 (9-7)

How did a playoff season make me consider jumping off the nearest tall building into a vat of acid MULTIPLE times? How about two of the most traumatic 4th-quarter collapses in team history, capped by a home playoff loss to a hated divisional rival (who also, you know, beat us 3 times. In games against "Not Seattle" in 2004, STL went six-and-fucking-nine).

You know how bad things were? My most vivid positive memory of 2004 is Michael Boulware's game winning pick-six against the Dolphins. The 1-8 Miami Dolphins. Just yipes.