The 10 Most Humiliating Defeats in Seahawks History

First of all, last week's game won't be on this list. There's plenty of embarassing moments in our franchise's history, and our 44-6 drubbing last Sunday can't be seen in context quite yet. So here's the 10 most degrading, disgusting losses in Seahawks history. These are the losses that made you want to put away your Hawks gear until the next gameday... The ones that made you dread running into opposing fans at work or school the next day. Here we go.. Ugh.

10. October 4, 1992: Chargers 17, Seahawks 6
9. October 11, 1992: Cowboys 27, Seahawks 0
8. October 18, 1992: Raiders 19, Seahawks 0

I'll bunch these three games together to kick-off the list. This was the nadir of the lost 1992 campaign: Six points scored over three games & ZERO touchdowns.

7. October 7, 2007: Steelers 21, Seahawks 0

Revenge for XL? Not so much. Instead, the Hawks turned in a flaccid, zombified performance in a 10 am road game... Where have we seen that before?

6. December 23, 1989: Redskins 29, Seahawks 0

I was there for Steve Largent's last game. I cried profusely. It didn't help that Largent only notched three catches while his teammates sent him into retirement with an absolutely shameful effort.

5. November 27, 1980: Cowboys 51, Seahawks 7

This was the most torturous afternoon of the sad 1980 season. While Americans enjoyed their Thanksgiving turkey, stuffing and pumpkin pie, the Cowboys feasted on roasted Osprey. This is still the biggest single-game margin of defeat in Seahawks history.

4. September 3, 2000: Dolphins 23, Seahawks 0

The Seahawks opened the 2000 season in Miami, and aimed for payback after losing to the fins in the '99 Wild Card game. I was aiming to familiarize my new girlfriend (and eventual wife) with my weekly ritual of watching the Hawks. We went to a sports bar, and watched Seattle fall behind 23-0 by the half... Amy immediately wondered why I spent three hours each fall sunday watching such losers. Here's Kitna's line for the afternoon:

6-13, 54 yards, 0 TD, 4 INT

3. August 31, 1997: Jets 41, Seahawks 3

The first game of the Paul Allen era! My first game as a Seahawks season ticket holder! It didn't go well. At some point in the 3rd quarter, I said this:

"What a day. First Princess Di gets killed, then so do the Seahawks!"

2. November 30, 1987: Raiders 37, Seahawks 14

The Bo Jackson MNF game. The less said about it, the better. They just beat the christ out of us, and on national TV no less.

1. November 4, 1979: Rams 24, Seahawks 0

Even though I was only 4 when this game happened, it has to top the list. Why? That day the Seahawks turned in the worst offensive performance in NFL history. Sure, they got shut out... but they also racked up -7 total yards.

Negative seven yards.

That's seven yards less than my toddler ass racked up that day.

78-16

That's the aggregate score of our two road games this season.

A fucking travesty.

I'm not one of these guys who bemoans the "lazy pro athlete." NFL players are very handsomely compensated, but each week they risk serious injury, permanent disability and even death. On top of that, they have zero job security and even a brief NFL career results in a significantly diminished life expectancy.

But when it comes to the Seattle defense, I have to quote Heath Ledger's Joker...

"I mean, what happened? Did your - did your balls drop off? Hmm?"

There were moments during today's game where I almost thought they changed the rules of the sport and didn't bother to tell the Seahawks. I don't put this on the coaches, and I'm not going to make excuses about jet lag or any other bullshit. Those 11+ guys on defense played like gaggle of fancy lads having a slap-fight during recess at the boarding school.

I've got a dish. I watch a metric fuckload of NFL ball. You know what I've learned? As complex as the pro game is, defense is still mostly about naked animal aggression.

I HATE saying this, but it's obvious to me that the defense has gotten lazy about relying on the 12th Man to provide them with a jolt of adrenaline. I fully expect them to go buck wild on Aaron Rodgers and the Pack next Sunday, and I also expect us to win the game.

But two weeks from now in Tampa, will they bring that level of intensity & focus? Or will they stumble around the field like a bunch of goth kids forced to play football as some sort of twisted punishment?

I love you Hawks, but I am calling you out. Are you this:



or this:



It's time to redeem yourself, Hawks. Stop embarrassing us and start putting foot to ass.

Gutless.

That was one of the WORST losses in Seahawks history (I'll put it in greater perpective later this week). I'm ashamed of them today. The only player who showed any fucking heart was Hasselbeck. That dude is a warrior.

Two road blowouts in four games. This team really seems to have regressed this year, and I don't have any answers.

I'm disgusted, but I'm not hopeless. We have time to figure this out, but it's gotta start with a win over Team Cheese next week.

More to come... FUCK!

We interrupt this Seahawks blog to say... Woo! Red Soxxxxx! Fuck YEEEEAH!

We wrap a trip to the ALCS Sunday night, after the Seahawks conquer the NYG... It'll be a rough day for this doucher, huh?

Uniform Nerdage

If I was ever put on trial for excessive geekery, you'd have thousands of pieces of evidence to use against me. Here's exhibit 1,467 for the prosecution: My obsession with the minutiae of sports uniforms. I found kindred spirits in the folks over at Uni Watch, even though they pretty much despise the Seahawks' current uniforms (booo!). So buckle in... this post is going to get nerdy as fuuuuuuck.

-Based on the following picture, I can immediately tell you that it was taken at a game that was NOT played at Qwest Field. Why? Because in their 32 years of existence, the Seahawks have NEVER worn white jerseys at home. After Oakland wore white last week at home v. SD, the Hawks are the ONLY NFL team that has never worn white jerseys at home. I vote we keep it that way, personally.

-Pet peeve: Jim Zorn throwback jerseys. Am I mad that he's coaching another team now? Perhaps. But look at what people are shelling out $125 a pop for:



You know how many games Zorn started in his career wearing that jersey? Eight. He wore THIS the other 92 times he started for the Hawks:



Yup, the old 76-82 striped sleeves. I'm all about being old school, but how about being accurate when you do it? Sure, he wore the 83-01 uni a few times, but it's not representative of his career at all.

-Speaking of the old uniforms... Since the NFL is so keen on teams wearing throwback unis on Thanksgiving, does anyone know if we are planning to go retro in Dallas this year? I'd love to awaken the echoes of our visit in '86 (for all you young'ns out there, the Hawks walloped the 'Boys 31-14 on thanksgiving that year).

-Personally I love the all-blue home unis, but am not very fond of any of the other various combinations (The last time we wore white pants with blue jerseys was the 2005 opener at Jacksonville, and I'm pretty sure the last time we went with blue pants/white jerseys was at Minnesota in 2003, but I could be wrong). What do y'all think?