February 10, 2008

Fuzzy Seahawk Memories: November 30, 1992 (Seahawks 16, Broncos 13 OT)

1992 Sucked. Not only was the team awful; it was also BORING. Tom Flores coached as if he was still employed by the Raiders, and Seattle's offense scored barely EIGHT POINTS PER GAME. In one six-week stretch, the Hawks could only manage a lone, pathetic touchdown.

The only thing that made the team somewhat tolerable to watch was Cortez Kennedy and the doomed but dogged defense. Tez was named NFL defensive player of the year on a 2-14 team, a fact that should get him into Canton almost by itself (seriously you craggy old honkey fucks... Put him in).

Long before the days of flex scheduling, ABC was forced to air a Monday Night game between the 1-10 Seahawks and the 7-4 (seemingly playoff bound) Denver Broncos. It would go down in national memory as perhaps the worst MNF game ever, but it's one of my favorite Seahawks memories (like Eddie Murphy said once about getting laid after a long dry spell: If you're starving, a saltine will taste like a Ritz cracker).

My younger readers might not remember that the Denver Broncos used to be among our most hated rivals; mostly because that homely fuck Elway owned our asses for about a decade and a half. But those hopeless, forlorn 92 Hawks caught a break that night: Tommy Maddox would start for Denver, and this wasn't Lazarus-era "good" Maddox.... This was helpless, skittish-as-me-behind-the-cash-register-at-Sbarro-during-lunch-rush Maddox.

Both offenses flailed about like two drunk sorority chicks in a cat fight, and the Hawks were somehow only down 13-6 in the final minutes... A face-mask penalty on a punt return set us up at the Denver 35, but it still felt like it would take a miracle to put 7 on the board. Somehow Stan Gelbaugh got us inside the 10, and on
4th and goal he hit Brian Blades for the tying TD. Blades did some stupid early-90s celebration dance and the Kingdome crowd erupted like it was 1984 all over again. In OT John Kasay booted Seattle to only its 2nd win of the season, and Denver spiraled to a 8-8 collapse and an Xmas at home just like the pathetic Seattlites.

It was one of the only bright spots of 1992; I remember running out onto my front yard and screaming "SEAAAAAAHAWWWWWKKKKKSSSSSS!" into the night after that win. I had no idea it was the start of a lost decade for my Hawks. Ugh.


Michael Steffes said...

The Broncos suck harder than Doogie Howser at a Menudo concert!!!! I hate them so much. My gal and I saw Josh Brown drive a stake through their hearts last year. The fans started the game telling us how Cutler was the second coming of Elway, and then they were all gone by the time Michael Boulware gave up a 90yrd TD with a min and half left to tie it. What a douche! We should of sent him to the Broncos, they were made for each other!

stimpqb1 said...

I happen to be reading a program from that pathetic '92 team today. Tommy Kane and Brian Blades. Joe Tofflemire at center and good ol Ray Roberts(two fat guys talking football). What a team! I still went to every home game, got to love John L. Williams!

JRockingham said...

This game was a slight wake up from a horrible nightmare that was the '92 season. I remember saying F-You!!! To my friends during the whole game because they bitched that a 1-10 team was on Monday Night Football.

They then reminded me, well you are now 2-10 Congratulations...