Go Forth and KILL!

I'm a football nerd. The parts of the game I enjoy most are strategy and athletic skill. Ideally, I want to see the Seahawks win by outsmarting the opposition and/or besting them through speed, agility and grace... Caveman ball is fine if it leads to wins, but on balance I prefer my teams to win pretty.

But sometimes, even I succumb to my Lizard Brain. Sometimes, there is an opposing player I so deeply detest that, yes, I root for him to get injured.

One of those players is Brett Favre.

I hope I don't really need to explain WHY I hate him. He's been playing for 20 years, and for, what... 15 or so of those years we've had to put up with his bullshit hick persona and the media flatworms who feed off his personal flaws (which they tirelessly try to convert from bugs into features). For HALF A DECADE we've had to endure his fucking annual ego-stroking "indecision" about whether he should keep playing. No matter how many playoff games he single-handedly pisses away like a disability check at an Indian casino, he is NEVER held responsible by his enablers.

In the cruelest twist, a fan base that loathed this fucker for like 15 years, and knew all about his petty bullcrap antics, is now forced to pretend like they FORGOT how much of a fuck-o this taintlicking unclefucker is.

So, for the good of the land, the Seattle Seahawks must grievously injure Brett Favre this Saturday. For Seahawks fans, who have seen Farve notch 2 of his THREE TOTAL PLAYOFF WINS SINCE 2002 against Seattle (in fact, Favre is the only QB to beat Seattle twice in the playoffs). For Packers fans, who were deeply, cruelly betrayed by this crusty shitstain. For Vikings fans, who I'm sure on some level HATE that they have to root for this sockhamper of a human being. For ALL MANKIND, who will finally be rid of this Mississippi menace if Curry and Bryant go high-low and tear up this assfuck's knee Saturday night.

Am I saying the Seahawks should intentionally try to injure Mr. Wrangler Jeans? Oh Heavens No! That wouldn't be sporting. I say go at him hard and hope for the best :)

Before anyone tsk-tsk's me, let me point out a couple of things: A) If Favre was permanently disabled or paralyzed, even I'd feel bad. I'm not rooting for anything that debilitating... Just career-ending. B) If Favre's knee went all 1984 Curt Warner? Boo-fucking-Hoo. Dude has more money than The Situation and David Lee Roth put together.. He could commission a team of scientists to craft him a pair of T-800 legs.