December 3, 2013

Seahawks 34, Saints 7

Seattle sports fans are accustomed to heartbreak and pain. As a sports town Seattle is a more picturesque Cleveland or Buffalo, experiencing more mediocrity and downright torment than ANY fanbase could be expected to endure. They've seen World Championships wrestled away via incompetent officiating. They've seen MULTIPLE ownership groups pilot their franchises into hopeless, non-competitive despair. They've seen a beloved franchise with a storied history bolt for the middle of Red State Nowhere, with a huge assist from the league's commissioner. Seattle fans have plenty of reasons to think that the game is rigged against their teams, and they'd have plenty of excuses to withdraw in disgust... But they don't. If a Seattle team is merely competitive, if they simply give fans some HOPE, they're rewarded with the most rabid support one could possibly imagine.

Seattle fans, your reward for all those decades of perseverance is here. That reward is the 2013 Seattle Seahawks.

I can already hear the cries of "Don't jinx it!" I can feel people recalling other Seattle teams that reached the brink of championships (the 2005 Seahawks... the 1996 Sonics), or those who had great regular seasons only to unexpectedly fail in the playoffs (the 2001 Mariners, the 1994 Sonics). As Mom said once, "Jam a bastard in it, you crap!" These Seahawks are different. There's nothing gimmicky or fluky about them. They are simply BETTER than every other team in the NFL. They are stronger, faster, smarter, and meaner than any team they're going to face this season. They're our '85 Bears... Our '89 Niners... Our '92 Cowboys... Our '03 Patriots.

They're going to win the Super Bowl, and they JUST MIGHT also go down as one of the greatest teams in NFL history. There, I said it. I've said plenty of stuff on this blog that made me look like a boob later on (COUGH... Wilson shouldn't start... COUGH), but I have zero fear of that statement boomeranging on me later. These Hawks are that fucking good.

How good? So good that the defense held future Hall of Famer Drew Brees to 147 irrelevant yards passing, and one of the NFL's most potent offenses to seven meager points. So good that the offense blasted through the Saints' 5th-ranked defense like they were 11 black and gold pinatas. So good that people are going to have to recognize that the rightful NFL MVP is our sub-6-foot, 3rd round quarterback.

No quarterback in the league is playing better than Russell Carrington Wilson right now (Nope, not even Peyton Manning). In a duel with his idol, Wilson didn't just win decisively. This was a Mortal Kombat-style Fatality/Perfect Victory. The only thing Wilson didn't do (he just threw for 310 yards, 3 TDs, had a 139. 6 passer rating, and led the team in rushing) was rip out Brees' spine and smack his corpse around with it. The WolfBadger was in total command, and unlike RGIII/Kaepernick/Luck, he keeps getting better every week. There's NO player in the league I'd trade Wilson for under any circumstances, and if he does indeed lead us to a XLVIII win, he'd have to be anointed as the greatest QB in Seahawks history... after 32 regular season games. That's how amazing DangeRuss is, kids.

Obviously, Wilson is surrounded by talent. Seattle has so much talent that they can be missing multiple key starters and still dominate the 2nd best team in the NFC. If the only info you got was from ESPN, you KNEW the absence of Harvin, Browner and Thurmond was going to doom the Seahawks last night. Twelves knew better, and sure enough Byron Maxwell, Jeremy Lane, Doug Baldwin, Golden Tate and Zach Miller didn't just compensate for that missing talent- They rampaged. They marauded. They KILLED.

Seattle's defense should terrify every offense coordinator and quarterback in the league. Earl Thomas is the Defensive Player of The Year, Richard Sherman is the league's best corner, and the front seven has become a whirling cyclone of fury destroying anything and everything in their way. How can Peyton Manning or Tom Brady look at film from last night and have any reaction other than "fuuuuuuuuuck?"

Oh, what's that? Brady or Manning won't have to play the Seahawks in Seattle, and the home crowd gives the Hawks their mutant powers? Yeah, it's true that us Twelves help make it nearly impossible for visiting teams to leave Seattle victorious. It's also true that home field advantage will give the Seahawks a clear path to New Jersey next February. The awful truth for the rest of the league is that on a neutral field (particularly one where weather might be a factor) Seattle is STILL going to be the better team. The Hawks are 9-1 in prime-time games under Pete Carroll, and there will be no time more prime than XLVIII.

Your Seahawks are the best team in football, and might just be HISTORICALLY great. Revel in this glory, Twelves! Two more wins = the #1 NFC seed. Two more wins means I'll be there at Seahawks Stadium for the NFC Championship Game. I'll be there with y'all to send our boys off to MetLife Stadium and the greatest moment in Seattle sports history.

As PC said once: "Don't it just feel great?"

1 comment:

neurocell said...

The Hawks are averaging 28.3 points per game. See, 83 is an awesome number.