April 28, 2008

Theologians.. They Don't Know Nothin... About My Soul.

Guy has a good point there... The NFL's future is most certainly an alien planet, and no matter what all those pundits and prognosticators say, they have NO FUCKING CLUE if there is air out there. Grading the draft the day after it ends is the biggest possible waste of time outside the Giuliani campaign. No one has any idea how these players are going to pan out, and any one who say otherwise is a liar or a jive-ass fool.

But now almost all the chess pieces are set. We have a pretty damn good idea what shape the 2008 Seahawks are gonna take, and they have the look of a champion to me.

April 26, 2008

Draft Day in Springfield

Updates to come in this space, y'all.. Stay tuned.

-Well, I hated Howie Long when I was a kid.. My son will learn to hate Chris Long pretty easily, I think. :-]

-So it's Lawrence Jackson, DE from USC. Ruskell goes defense from a big football program.. no big shock there. I don't know how good he'll be, but his nickname is LoJack, which is pretty effing sweet.

-We traded up to get Notre Dame TE John Carlson, who fills a glaring and immediate need. Will we call him JoCar?

April 22, 2008

Alexander Released

This was so inevitable that I talked about it twice last month... Here's the relevant passages if you didn't want to click on those links...

I always had mixed feelings about SA. I was never a flat-out hater, booing him at home games... but he was also never even close to one of my favorite players either. I never wanted a #37 jersey, for example. Why? Look at this guy's resume:

-2005 NFL MVP (including 28 touchdowns and 1880 rushing yards)
-112 career touchdowns (#1 in Seahawks history; #14 in NFL history)
-9,429 career rushing yards (#1 in Seahawks history)

But there's also a lot of stuff that, frankly, made him look like a self-centered pussy:

-The "stab in the back" comment after failing to win the NFL rushing crown in 2004.
-Rightly or wrongly, his rushing style made him often look like a douche. It may have saved wear and tear and prolonged his career, but it also didn't help him look like a hard-nosed tough guy.
-The (hopefully) coincidence that his best season occurred when he was up for a huge new contract, followed by a dizzying decline in production thereafter.
-His lack of abilty/enthusiasm in pass blocking and/or pass catching out of the backfield, forcing Holmgren to take one of his best players off the field in a lot of situations.

How should he be remembered? He won't (and shouldn't) get into Canton, but he should certainly end up in the Seahawks Ring of Honor ASAP. Here's what I'll remember as the top 5 highlights of his Seattle career:

5. 201 yards on 40(!) carries in the snow v. GB on MNF in 2006
4. His 88-yard TD run at Arizona in 2005
3. FIVE first-half TDs v. Minnesota on SNF in 2002
2. 266 yards and 3 TDs on Sunday Night Football v. Oakland in 2001
1. 132 yards on 34 carries/2 TDs in the 2005 NFC Title Game victory over Carolina

I'm completely in favor of his release. I simply think he's got nothing left, and we are in the business of trying to win XLIII, not wallowing in the past.

However, a lot of the fan reaction has me flummoxed... In my unscientific survey of online reaction (and frankly, out here in Illinois I have little else to go on), I've found most of it to be rabidly negative towards Alexander. There's a depressing "good riddance" edge to a lot of the online chatter about SA, and that's completely unfair... and retarded.

Let's face facts, y'all.. As much as we might not like his running style or his personality, this is the truth about SA:

-He's the only Seahawk to ever be named NFL MVP.
-He's one of the top five players in Seahawks history (I rank him up there with Jones, Largent, Hasselbeck and Easley). Even if you want to argue about that, he's the greatest running back in Seattle history, and that's a group that includes Curt Warner, Ricky Watters and Chris Warren.
-Without him, we would still be part of the pathetic franternity of teams who have never been to a Super Bowl. Isn't it nice to hold something over the Cardinals, Saints, Lions, Browns, Texans, and Jaguars?

Yes, he's gotta go. But why all the hate for a guy who was absolutely essential to the greatest season (and greatest era) in Seattle Seahawks history?

April 20, 2008

Seahawks "All-Time, All-Drafted" Team

The rules:

A) players must have been drafted by the Seahawks (no undrafted players like Mack Strong or Dave Krieg)
B) players must have made a significant contribution with Seattle (so no Ahman Greens, for example)

Here's what I came up with (thanks to Pro Football Reference for making this easier)


QB Seneca Wallace
RB Shaun Alexander
FB John L. Williams
WR Brian Blades
WR Darrell Jackson
TE Itula Mili
T Walter Jones
T Ron Mattes
G Steve Hutchinson
G Pete Kendall
C Kevin Mawae


DE Jacob Green
DE Jeff Bryant
DT Cortez Kennedy
DT Rocky Bernard
LB Lofa Tatupu
LB Michael Jackson
LB Bruce Scholtz
S Kenny Easley
S John Harris
CB Marcus Trufant
CB Shawn Springs


K Josh Brown
P Ruben Rodriguez
KR Bobby Joe Edmonds

April 19, 2008

Biggest Seahawks Draft Busts?

Hey, it's less than a week until the draft! Let's relive the massive spastic fuck-ups Seattle's management has pulled off in the past!

You'll notice no Bosworth here, for two reasons..

A) He was a Supplemental draft pick
B) It wasn't an blatantly stupid move to pick him, and before injuries destroyed him he actually wasn't that bad.

So here we go:

Jerramy Stevens (R1, 2002): Possibly the Worst Seahawk Ever. On top of displaying the receiving skills of my 2-year-old son, he was also a despicably terrible human being. Just a fucking nightmare.

Koren Robinson (R1, 2001): By all accounts, a good guy except for, you know.. that alcohol problem. Despite that and incredibly inconsistent hands, he was given chance after chance by Holmgren... Ruskell rode him out of town after the 2004 season, picked up Joe J and we went to XL

Rick Mirer (R1, 1993): I was there for one of the few highlights of Mirer's Seattle career... He led the Hawks to a late TD in a 10-9 win over the Pats in 1993. Believe it or not there was a time where he looked like he'd actually have a non-shitty NFL career. After a solid rookie season, Mirer declined each year until we traded him to Chicago.. for a pick we used to take Walter Jones.

Maybe he wasn't such a bust after all.. :-]

Dan McGwire (R1, 1991): The Behring/Flores era's representative move... Run Dave Krieg out of town in favor of Mark McGwire's freakishly tall younger brother; See him throw TWO TD passes in his NFL career.

Owen Gill (R2, 1985): You seriously need to re-examine your scouting department when the team ends up CUTTING ITS SECOND ROUND PICK (and highest pick in the 1985 draft) BEFORE HE EVEN PLAYS A SINGLE REGULAR SEASON DOWN.

April 16, 2008


The other day Seahawk Addicts pointed out a story that hit a point I love to make: The Seahawks only trail the Patriots and Colts as the most successful NFL franchise since 2003.

Of course, you wouldn't know that if you looked at the MNF schedule for 2008 (yes, SNF is the marquee game now, and playing on Monday night kinda fucks a team up for the next game, but to be shut out entirely is kinda bullshit)... Here's another little tidbit I dug up (which I also posted as a comment on SA)

I was watching sportscenter for some reason the other day, and Greenberg mentioned how "6 of the last 7 teams to lose the Super Bowl missed the playoffs the following year."

As you know, it was the 2006 Seahawks who broke that so-called "curse."

Here's an even better one: The 2006 Seahawks are the only SB loser to win a playoff game the following year since... wait for it...

The 1997 New England Patriots, who lost Super Bowl XXXI, but won a wild card match-up with Miami the following year.

As Beck would say.. Put your hands on the wheel, let the golden age begin. The best part? There's no end in sight. :-]

April 15, 2008

2008 Schedule

9/7 @ Bills 12 noon (central)

9/14 49ers 3 PM

9/21 Rams 3 PM

9/28 BYE

10/5 @ NYG 12 noon

10/12 Packers 3 PM

10/19 @ Bucs 7 pm (NBC)

10/26 @ 49ers 3 PM

11/2 Eagles 3 PM

11/9 @ Dolphins 12 noon

11/16 Cardinals 3 PM

11/23 Redskins 3 PM

11/27 @ Cowboys 3 PM (Thanx)

12/7 Patriots 7 PM (NBC... Could be Flexed to 3 PM)

12/14 @ Rams 12 noon

12/21 Jets 3 PM

12/28 @ Cardinals 3 PM


-The bye week is wayyy too early.

-Very happy to see we got the Thanksgiving Day game. Remember: We fucking own Dallas, and JJ should be HIGHLY motivated for his return to big D.

-No MNF games? I'm fine with that. Also VERY fine with no NFLN games.

-No cold weather games? Sweet.

-Only one two-game road trip... also sweet.

-Very balanced schedule... in each "quarter" of the season we have 2 home/2 road games.

-I will predict this right now: We win the opener at Buffalo 9-6 at the gun on an Olindo Mare FG :-]

-We can re-establish our dominion over the NFC West early on with home wins over AZ and SF.. and we will.

-Looking at the Sked... Best Case 13-3/Worst Case 10-6... My prediction: 12-4, #1 seed in the NFC

April 12, 2008

The 12th Man's Tentacles Reach Into the Midwest... Or Something

I was out grocery shopping today (and rocking some Seahawks gear, naturally), when I saw someone else with even MORE Seahawks stuff festooning their car/person.

Yup. Even in the land of Lincoln, there's some folks who bleed gun metal blue and bright Seahawks green.

Where's the place you were most surprised to run into another Seahawks fan?

April 11, 2008

Soccer: Hate, Embrace or Tolerate?

Looks weird, doesn't it?

Well, get used to it because MLS is coming to town as the Seattle Sounders FC in 2009

(That color scheme doesn't look familiar or anything, does it?) :-]

At one extreme, you have those with a deep hatred of soccer, buying into the idea that soccer is all "high kickin, low scorin, and ties??? You betcha!" A lot of these guys are put off by the very foriegn-ness of soccer, and they will sometimes refer to soccer as being played by "fags" and/or "commies."

At the OTHER extreme, you have the assholes who front like they LOOOOOOOVE soccer (mainly of the basis OF its foriegn-ness... If they like it in Europe, it must be better than anything American sheeple enjoy!). These people will also enjoy telling you that in the rest of the world soccer is called "football." Anyone who tells you this is an insuffereable douchebag, and deserves a Robot-Chicken-esque beatdown.

I'm somewhere in the middle: I watched the World Cup (hell, I even went to a World Cup viewing party in Columbus back in 2006)

...and I even went to my share of Columbus Crew games (particularly on Buck-a-brat nights)

So what are the pros and cons of soccer?


-Injured players get left on the field for extended periods
-Usually cheap to go to a game; Money saved can be spent on beer
-Attractive women abound at soccer games, usually wearing Beckham jerseys
-Great excuse to bring a drum, horn or cowbell to a public place and make more noise than a pissed-off special ed kid
-Tie games remind us of the ambiguous nature of reality.. or something.


-Yeah, there usually isn't much scoring
-Players flop more blatantly than Glitter or Gigli
-Ties.. they really suck quite a bit.
-Watching any game in a 2/3rds empty stadium is kind of depressing

Personally, I think one reason soccer isn't bigger in the US is VERY simple.

We are used to having the #1 sports league on earth in every sport, and the MLS is more than a few notches below the Premier League...

So what do y'all think of the sport they love most in the rest of the world?

April 9, 2008

The Perils of Dual Fandom

If I'm married to the Seattle Seahawks, I'd have to admit to having a torrid affair with my mistress: The Boston Red Sox.

The story of how I became a Seahawks fan is pretty simple: I was caught up in the enthusiasm of the incredible 1983 season, where at age 8 I went to my first game and was hooked for life.

The Red Sox thing? It came a bit later on. I grew up in the Tri-Cities, and I barely knew ANY actually Mariners fans (no big shock there.. back then the M's were atrocious).. My friends would argue constantly about individual players, though. The big one was Roger Clemens v. Dwight Gooden. In 1986, I loved The Rocket, and when the Red Sox also happened to have a great season, I was hooked. I'd love to tell you I was tortured about the '86 series, but frankly at age 11 I was pretty sure they'd just win it all the next season (I wasn't the brightest kid).

In the early 90s I started going to games at the Kingdome.. but instead of rooting for the hometowners, I was there in all my Red Sox gear. I realized something: It was kind of fun to be the bad guy... I started college at Western in 93, and catching a Sox game in Seattle became an annual tradition (one that got my dorm room TP'd while I was at a game once to boot).

In 1995 I was surrounded by Mariners fever, and I'll admit to pulling for them unless the M's success screwed up my Red Sox (usually, the M's winning tends to help out Boston). But it was strange to be the only guy pissed off because the idiots running MLB started regional playoff coverage on TV that season... While the M's and Yankees battled on TV, I couldn't watch the Red Sox get pounded into dust by Cleveland (hmm.. maybe that was a good thing).

In an indirect way, I find the Red Sox inspiring as a Seahawks fan... For DECADES they couldn't get over the hump, but now here they sit with two World Championships in four years... To borrow the catch phrase from the 2004 Red Sox and apply it to the Seahawks: Why Not Us?

My question to my readers is this: Do you just root for Seattle teams, or do you root for teams from all over? I think I might have turned out differently if I had grown up IN Seattle instead of 3 hours away in Eastern WA, but we'll never know.

I'll be in Seattle this July, and within a week I plan to catch the Red Sox series at Safeco AND spend a day at Seahawks training camp.. I'll have to pack my Hasselbeck and Big Papi jerseys for that trip. :-]

(For the record... even though I've been to Fenway Park twice, even though my Sox have won two world titles, my favorite sports memory is being at Qwest for the 2005 NFC Championship Game... The Hawks are my #1 sports obsession without question.)

April 8, 2008

The Greatest Seahawk: Steve Largent

Despite my lobbying for Big Walt, this is obviously a well-deserved honor. His accomplishments are well-known, so I thought I'd share my own memories...

When I was 8, I went to my first Seahawks game, and one of the highlights was getting to see #80 score a TD. The next year (84), I was at the game where he made that diving catch v. Chicago that is on every one of his highlight reels. My first Seahawks jersey was a blue #80, and over the years I've had many variations of Largent jerseys (including the semi-authentic throwback I own today).

He made big plays in big games... Two big catches on the game-winning drive at Miami in the '83 playoffs... The biggest game of his career in a key game at Denver in '84... A HUGE playoff performance in the 1987 wild-card loss at Houston, including the late TD that send the game to overtime... A pace-setting long TD catch in the division-clinching finale at the LA Coliseum in 1988...

And yes, I love to brag about this: I was at the game where he damn near knocked Mike Harden the fuck off the planet. :-]

Despite all the blather about Largent "lacking physical skills," he had great game speed. Defenders always made the mistake of underestimating his athletic ability, and that ability combined with his astute football mind made him one of the best wide receivers in NFL history.

I was at his final game in 1989, and afterwards I cried harder than when my first dog died. Steve Largent was (and is) special to me, and clearly to all of you.

and now he is... THE GREATEST SEAHAWK.

Bonus: another NFL.com Largent clip here.

April 4, 2008

Dan Snyder = Hillary Clinton

"I'd be winning if you only counted primaries, "big states," and those two states that broke the rules (but I happened to win because no one else competed with me)!"

"We would have won that game in Seattle if the rules on recovering a kickoff and advancing it were different!"

..and both of them are LOSERS. Ha!

I'm off to a wedding in Kansas.. I'll update if I can get online at the hotel.

Jones v. Largent

So here we are: The Finals. The two greatest Seahawks in history battle for your amusement... Largent looks to be the overwhelming favorite, but I made a lot of the arguments in favor of Big Walt in the comments here...

I said this before, but I'll close with this argument: If you could have either player in his prime, which would you rather have? I'd pick Big Walt without much deliberation... but what do you think?

April 3, 2008

Just a reminder... Comments are moderated

...so if your comment isn't posted immediately, it's probably because I'm away from my computer. Don't take it personally, y'all biscuitheads.

April 2, 2008

Wow. Seriously. Fuck You.

Apparently, Mike Pereira has admitted that a holding call should have been made on a key play in Jacksonville's wild card victory over Pittsburgh last January.

Boo-fucking-hoo. Those Pittsburgh shitsnackers got a FUCKING SUPER BOWL RING largely due to incompetent/biased officiating. No Steelers fan should be allowed to complain about officiating for at least a decade.

And Fuck Pereira... That play rates an apology, but NOTHING in Super Bowl XL did?

And all you fuckers who are telling Seahawks fans to "get over it...." Please, sincerely, get back to banging your sister in your gleaming tower of rational superiority. Let's see how you react when your team gets ass-raped by a rhino.. I doubt you'll shake it off like a flesh wound.

Fuck all y'all haters. Y'all know the truth.. You can't clean this stain off your Lombardi Trophy, Steelers.. no matter how long you polish the damn thing.

April 1, 2008

The Final Four

...Just like the NCAA tourney, it's all #1's:

Cortez Kennedy v. Walter Jones

Kenny Easley v. Steve Largent

Vote away!