September 29, 2008

Giants Schmiants...

Patrick Kerney: Ready to feast on Eli's soul.

I'm not here to talk trash about the Giants. They're the defending world champs, and they are once again a formidable team. They are what the Seahawks are trying to become.

However, I'm not about to concede Sunday's game. Why?

-If you watch ESPN enough, you start to believe the NFC East is populated by Terminators, T-Rexes and Tasmanian Devils. Surely the puny Seahawks must have an awful record against such an dominant division, right?

How about 9-1 since the start of 2005 (including the last nine in a row), with the single loss in OT at FedEx Field?

-Yeah, Seattle is only 18-27 on the road since 2003, but NYG is only 19-29 at home over the same period. The G-men have a long history of simply failing to show up for games at the Meadowlands, so this would be a PRIME spot for the Hawks to break through with a big win in the Eastern Time Zone.

-While the Hawks get a bunch of players back this week, the Giants are of course without Plax. Shouldn't the Seahawks take his suspension almost as bulletin board material? If the next game was against the Cowboys or Eagles, I HIGHLY doubt that Burress would have been suspended by the team.

Time to step up, Hawks... Don't lose and make me look like a Schmuck.

September 28, 2008

The Seahawks just had a better day off than Ferris Bueller

"Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

-Ferris Bueller, surely urging us to sit back and enjoy this bye week.

Jipes. The Niners and Cards both just took SEVERE beatings back east (don't let AZ's comeback attempt to dignify the final score fool you... they got pwned).

After a traumatically awful 0-2 start, the Seahawks are only a half-game out of first place in the admittedly pathetic NFC West. With SF playing the Patriots and AZ tangling with Buffalo next week, a win at the Meadowlands could quite possibly put Seattle back atop the division.

No matter what the national media says, we don't need to make any apologies for winning a crappy division. How many times did the Niners do that back in the '80s? We need to copy something else those old Niners did a few times: Win playoff games on the road.

Living out here in the NFC West gives the Hawks the opportunity to get healthy and then start rolling towards Championship-calibre January football. For now, just thank the maker that, like Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles, we're "King of the Dipshits."

September 27, 2008

Stick it to Seahawks Huddle: Donate to the National September 11 Memorial & Museum

Maybe we can make this embarrassing, disgusting Seahawks Huddle fiasco into a positive... I've put a link over in the sidebar for contributions to the National September 11 Memorial and Museum.

Except for a small pocket of morons, we truly are the best fans in the NFL. Let's show it by contributing to the 9/11 Memorial, which is a damn good idea anyway.

I threw in $25... Who is with me on this?

Thanks, Assholes!

Ugh. As you've likely already heard, some fucking idiots at Seahawks Huddle decided to "joke" about the 9/11 attacks on their message board. If you really want to subject yourself to the content, Deadspin has a story on it.

I'm one inappropriate bastard over here, but that shit makes me look like Angela on The Office (before she started cheating on her fiance with Dwight, I guess). If I am the one saying something is classless and out of bounds, you know it's pretty fucking bad.

I have a close friend whose Dad was in the Pentagon when it got hit (thankfully on the other side of the complex). Another close friend of mine from NY was planning on going to the WTC that morning but his plans changed the night before. I flew cross country on September 10th and was stuck 2500 miles away from my future wife, stunned and terrified like everyone else.

I'm in no position to say that one should never joke about a given subject, but fuck... aren't there about a MILLION other ways to talk shit about the Giants, or about NYC?

So, on behalf of non-fucktarded Seahawks fans everywhere, I apologize to New York, the Giants organization and fans, and the families of the victims. Those Seahawk Huddle turd-eaters do NOT represent us.

September 25, 2008

Bronko Nagurski Didn't Get No Bye Weeks.. and Now He's Dead.

Weird stat of the day: Since the NFL put bye weeks into the regular season back in 1990, the Hawks have been dominant in games immediately before the bye, and absolutely craptacular following the week off.

Before the bye: 16-4

After the bye: 5-14

Among those post-bye losses was the most horrifying, brain-melting regular season loss in team history... As I wrote back in 2004:

To paraphrase the great Egon Spengler: “Sorry Venkman.. I’m disappointed beyond the capacity for rational thought.” You may know my Seahawks blew a 27-10 4th quarter lead to the hated Rams to lose in OT 33-27, and in this space right now I’m in no frame of mind to rationally analyze what went wrong. All I can tell you that this is the most crushing defeat I can ever remember in my 22 seasons following this team. Tonight the Seahawks made me cry for the first time since I was 13 (the 88 playoff loss at Cincinnati), and I feel like my insides were scooped out and fed to Mike Martz while I was forced to watch.

I don't have a good theory about why Seattle is so great before the bye but so feeble after it. Hopefully Holmgren can figure this out before we go play NYG. What do you guys think the problem is?

September 24, 2008

Don't EVER take the playoffs for granted... Enjoy this Golden Age

My Boston Red Sox clinched a playoff spot for the 5th time in six years yesterday, and combined with the Seahawks run of five straight playoff appearances, I've clearly been blessed by the sporting gods lately.

It's really easy to devalue winning the NFC West year after year, but there was a time when we were lost in the NFL wilderness. Playoffs? How about a full decade without January football? That was the reality for Seattle back in The Lost '90s.

A fifth consecutive NFC West title isn't a given this year, but goddamn it... this team is going to earn it. Won't it be sweet to clinch at Glendale on the last day of the regular season and shut up all those Cardinals "fans?" Of course our goals are higher than a division crown, but that by itself is still something to be proud of.

Here's to a Red October and Blue February, y'all!

September 22, 2008

DKSB sez: Thumbs Down on New Qwest End Zones

In my humble opinion...

So Good:

No Good:

I can't really adequately explain why, but I HATE the new design of the end zones at Qwest. I miss the white-letters-on-blue look, and I'm assuming the change has something to do with making it easier to convert the field to "Sounders FC" mode after football season.

If I was going to have my way, one end zone would say "Seattle" and the other would say "Seahawks." At the least, if they are going to have green end zones, they should be this color:

Embrace the blinding Seahawks green, y'all! :-]

Seahawks 37, Rams 13

All of the pics are up on Flickr..

It was a sublime pleasure to watch the Hawks throttle STL at Qwest Field today. Aside from a few isolated plays, this was an utterly dominant performance for the blueshirts in a game they absolutely HAD to win. Now Seattle heads to the bye week only a game out of first place (thanks to Zorn's minions) and with a suddenly competent-to-excellent ground attack.

It's true that STL is without a doubt the worst team in football, but Seattle kept kicking sand in puny Ram faces until the final gun. A whole new level of performance will be needed to beat NYG and the Pack, but this one is worth savoring for a bit.

Some random observations:

-I hit Tailgate Heaven for the first time, and had an absolute blast. If you're ever in the parking lot west of Qwest adjacent to Highway 99, that's where I'll be for pre-game festivities from now on.

-Weirdest jersey choice spotted? Rick Mirer. I hope it was meant ironically.

-Small world alert... after today's game I ran into another fan I met at the Cleveland game last year. Random, no? Poor guy said he was at the Buffalo game two weeks ago... I'm glad the Hawks won today to snap HIS bad stretch of spectating luck.

-I spent WAY too much on Seahawks gear this trip, topped off with a new Kenny Easley throwback jersey. Thanks to my lovely wife for letting me splurge.

-The Rams look destined for about 2-14. I'll relish watching another severe assromping at STL this December in person. Anyone else planning to catch that one? I'm sure there will be plenty of seats available on stubhub.

September 18, 2008

At the scene of the crime

I'm sitting in the new North Terminal at the Detroit airport, waiting to board my flight to Seattle. Every second I spend here is torture. I will NEVER forgive this town for the way the Seahawks were treated before, during and after XL.

At least the Lions royally suck. That makes me feel a LITTLE better.

September 16, 2008

Let the hate flow through you

-"All that hate is gonna burn you up, kid"
-"It keeps me warm"

Powers Boothe & C. Thomas Howell in Red Dawn

As a Red Sox fan, I know all about learning to intensely hate players I used to love. Roger Clemens? Dead to me. Johnny Damon? Ditto. As Bill said, there are consequences to breaking the heart of a sports fan (ok, he actually said "murderous bastard," but there really isn't THAT much difference between the two).

So Josh "no slave to the businessman" Brown returns on Sunday, and I only wish I had kept his jersey long enough to wear it to the game, strip it off in front of him and throw it in his fat little cornhusker face. I don't want anyone to get thrown out of Qwest on Sunday, but we have to make this greedy little bastad uncomfortable... Throw dollar bills at him... Have a (well organized and controlled) bonfire of his old jerseys in the parking lot... Remind him that he couldn't close the deal with Carrie Underwood... Whatever it takes, y'all.

The lesson? Never develop a man crush on a kicker. It just aint gonna turn out well.

DKSB will be at Tailgate Heaven this Sunday.

Yup, that's me after the Wild Card win over Dallas a couple of years back. I'm throwing that pic up so it'll be easier for y'all to hunt me down this Sunday.. I'm planning to be at Tailgate Heaven (the parking lot just north of the one behind Pyramid Brewery) about 9 am.

I've never really tailgated before an NFL game before, so this'll be new to me.. Then I'll be up in section 325 cheering the Hawks on to their 7th consecutive win over those St. Louis croquet-playing mint-munchers.

Koren Robinson's Greatest Moments as a Seahawk

Assuming he passes a physical Tuesday, K-Rob is once again a Seattle Seahawk. We all know about the dropped passes, the booze, and the rumors that he used to get hopped up on Ecstasy before games. But the guy did rack up 3167 yards receiving in 57 games as a Hawk, including a 1240 yard effort in 2002.

Here's his top 5 moments as a Seattle Seahawk...

5. 11/24/02 Seahawks 39, Chiefs 32

Robinson's greatest game as a Seahawk: 8 catches for 168 yards and a TD. Performances like this made the trajectory of his career near-tragic.

4. 9/19/04 Seahawks 10, Buccaneers 6

Robinson's TD catch put Seattle up 10-0, and would prove to be the winning margin on a sweltering late summer day in Tampa.

3. 10/20/02 Rams 37, Seahawks 20

An awful game for the team, but K-Rob racked up 166 receiving yards, including an electrifying 79-yard catch-and-run TD.

2. 12/27/03 Seahawks 24, Niners 17

Needing a win to stay alive in the playoff race, K-Rob makes a spectacular TD catch late in the 3rd quarter to put the Hawks ahead for good.

1. 9/21/03 Seahawks 24, Rams 23

Exactly five years before this Sunday's game, Robinson caught the winning touchdown in a dramatic win over the hated Rams. Let's hope he can replicate that performance on Sunday: 7 catches, 95 yards and a TD.

September 15, 2008

So did a Seahawks ball boy sneak THAT pigskin onto the field, Romo?

Nothing is fucked, dude.

Since I'm a huge nerd, I looked through our team history at pro football reference. How do we fare after 0-2 starts? Here's what I found:

-Seattle has started 0-2 fourteen times, and has never made the playoffs after an 0-2 start.

-Seattle's winning percentage in these seasons is .417, working out to about 7-9 over a theoretical full season.

-The Hawks recovered to finish 9-7 three times (1978, 1979, 1990), and 8-8 twice (95 & 97). They cratered into a 2-win campaign in 1976 and 1992.

If you look at the schedule, nine wins is about the best we can reasonably expect this year. Yes, it totally sucks that 12-4 is HIGHLY unlikely, but I firmly believe this will be a much more dangerous team in December/January than it is now.

Despite losing to them yesterday, I can't take SF seriously as a contender, and the Rams are laughably awful too... So it's us v. AZ.

You'll hear a lot about how we are finally going to collapse and cede the west to the Cardinals... They are going to be wrong again. They've got back-to-back east coast trips coming up against the Skins and Jets. They COULD win these games, but I'll believe it when it happens. Then they get Buffalo and Dallas at home, and I could easily see them falling to 3-3 after 6 games. They also have to travel to Carolina, Philly and New England, so it's completely plausible that they will be 9-6 going into that final showdown with us in Glendale.

Then we win, sneaking in the playoffs at 9-7. Then we win a Wild Card game at home, and hope that in Holmgren's last ride we can finally win our first road playoff games since 1983.

It starts with a win next Sunday. I'll be there.

Meaningless stat: The Hawks are 10-0 at Qwest with me in attendance.

September 14, 2008

Niners 33, Seahawks 30 (OT)

That was a brutal sucker-punch of a loss, punctuated by the injuries to Payne and Wallace. Like a buddy of mine said, this game felt like something from the pre-Holmgren era.... Just the despair and blackness that come from the Hawks somehow, someway finding a way to lose a game they should have won.

The running game was vastly improved, and while the defense made some plays, they also had some key breakdowns. At 0-2, the Hawks are not out of it, but absolutely need to win at home next week against STL. Despite this embarassing defeat, I have no doubt Seattle will win next Sunday. However, it is pretty depressing that my expectations have tumbled from a Super Bowl trip to scratching and clawing our way back to the top of the NFC West, and then hoping for the best in January.

The bright side is that a lot of other pretty damn good teams are 0-2, from SD to JAX to Minnesota. I don't think any of them are dead and buried yet.

The dirt is being shoveled onto this Seattle season though... Next week these guys need to go all Beatrix Kiddo and start digging out of this early grave.

Uh oh! I've angered the Sarah Palin fan club!

You may have seen some of the, let's say, displeased comments on the previous post.

See, I think this is funny. If Barack Obama did the same thing, I'd call him out on it. The conservatives so upset about this post are dodging an important point:

Does it bother you that Sarah Palin is either

A) not actually a Seahawks fan
B) is actually a Steelers fan
C) is a SHITTY Seahawks fan
D) Couldn't give less of a crap about sports, but is willing to play politics with it?

This sort of thing shouldn't determine who you vote for. Barack Obama is a die-hard Bears fan, and I'm sure he was quite pleased when they beat the Hawks twice back in 2006. I can't stand the Bears, and I'm surrounded by their fans out here in Illinois. I'm still going to vote for Obama for a universe of reasons too extensive to lay out here in detail.

Y'all are free to vote for McCain/Palin, based on any criteria you choose. But doesn't this Seahawks/Steelers thing bother you? Even just a LITTLE bit?

Plus, to the conseravtive readers I've apparently "lost." I'm not doing this for profit. I have no ads and make no money off of this. I'm doing it solely for fun. Thus, I'm not going to edit or censor what I think in an effort to avoid offending people.

One thing we can all agree on: GO SEAHAWKS!

September 13, 2008

Sarah Palin: Sports Whore

There's, oh, about a thousand reasons to despise Sarah Palin. But even if you are a Dino Rossi-loving, McCain-voting Republican, this should make your blood boil:

She's trying to be a Seahawks fan and a Steelers fan. Or, she just will sell out her Seahawks fandom for a few votes in PA. I gotta agree with Captain Caveman on this one:

I don’t want to go overboard and blow this out of proportion… but this bitch is Satan and I hope she dies.

This Week's Hype-Up Clips

Sex Pistols: EMI

"Here is Sub-Zero. Now PLAIN ZERO!"

All out of Bubblegum

Go Hawks!

September 11, 2008

Favorite Non-Seahawk Players?

Any guy who is playing against the Seahawks is the enemy, and guys who play for divisional rivals (or the Steelers) are disgusting scumbags (until they sign with us, of course.. ha!)... But who are you favorite current NFL players who DON'T play for the Seahawks? My top 10:

10. Mario Williams, Texans
9. Champ Bailey, Broncos
8. Derrick Brooks, Buccaneers
7. Brian Westbrook, Eagles
6. Bob Sanders, Colts
5. Tony Gonzales, Chiefs
4. Clinton Portis, Redskins
3. Maurice Jones-Drew, Jaguars
2. Drew Brees, Saints
1. Donovan McNabb, Eagles

September 10, 2008

Young Nastyman, We Hardly Knew Ye.

As I'm sure you all know, the Colts claimed Justin Forsett off waivers today. I'm usually not one to think I know better than our front office, but this one does sting a bit. I wish 30 Rock the best, but also kinda hope he doesn't explode into stardom for Indy.

We'll just have to wait and see.. A win on Sunday will heal up this mental wound nice and quick.

September 9, 2008

Thank God the Niners are coming to town

Players, coaches and the front office must maintain a healthy respect for every opponent, or risk defeat, ruin and humiliation.

As a fan, however, I can tell you how I really feel about the 49ers: I look upon them with sneering, absolute contempt. Nothing about them frightens me in the slightest, and I look forward to the annual ritualistic Qwest Field sacrifice of the lowly Niners this Sunday. Check the AVERAGE score of SF's last four visits to Qwest:

Seahawks 28, 49ers 7

I don't care if Steve Raible has to suit up at flanker... Seattle is going to burninate the Niners this Sunday. They are coached by a fraud in a Reebok suit, and with each pathetic loss they piss all over thier franchise's proud history.

I'm not that concerned about facing a team that has only won 25 of its last 85 games, particularly one led by a journeyman QB making his first start at Qwest Field. I'll let Mr. T sum this one up...

September 8, 2008

Free Seneca Wallace!

With Nasty Nate out for the year, it's time for #15 to move to WR/PR full time. Let's face a harsh truth: If Hass goes down for any significant amount time, the season is mourge-bound anyway. Why not put our best 11 offensive players on the field?

I don't expect Seneca to morph into Steve Largent, but at this point I'd take him becoming Paul Skansi. We have two very winnable home games coming up, and a well-placed bye after that. Wallace will help Seattle much more on the field than sipping gatorade on the bench waiting for Beck to get dinged.

This season can be saved. It's not too late.

Embarrassing Moments in Seahawks Special Teams History

1976: Pet Rock deployed as punt returner (with predictable results)

1981: Jimmy Carter hired as Special Teams Coach, malaise and a 6-10 record ensues.

1990: In key late-season game, Seahawks fall for the old "ball hidden under a dude's shirt" trick.

1992: In a misguided attempt to motivate the kick coverage team for an October home game, players are given copies of R.E.M.'s "Automatic for the People." Most abandon thier cars on I-5 for some reason and miss the game entirely.

1998: Dallas defeats the Hawks at Texas Stadium after punt coverage team is distracted by the Cowboys' "shiny, shiny helmets."

2000: Jeff Feagles votes for Pat Buchanan by mistake.

2002: Placekicker and punter both perish imitating a stunt they saw on Jackass.

September 7, 2008

Bills 34, Seahawks 10

What else can be said about that completely humiliating performance? I'll try to be positive here...

-It was a non-conference loss, which won't hurt us in playoff tiebreakers.

-Since this isn't the EPL, we're in no danger of being relegated to the arena leagues.

-Same train of thought: No matter how bad that game was, it only makes us 0-1.

-The 2005 Hawks lost thier opener, and the defending Super Bowl Champion Giants started an ugly 0-2 last year... Teams evolve over a season.

-Next week the Hawks get to come home to Qwest and take out thier frustrations on the Niners.

If they lay an egg next week against SF? Then I'll start freaking out a bit.

Another Reason College Football Sucks

So throwing the ball in the air spontaneously after a TD is a 15-yard penalty? The same punishment as yanking a guy down by his face mask?

That's wicked retarded.

September 5, 2008

Inspirado via You Tube

Just some you-tubage to get y'all geeked up for Sunday:

Pacino's big speech in Any Given Sunday..

Another one from Friday Night Lights...

Bill Murray being bad-ass in The Life Aquatic...

Arnold has a witty retort for Bill Duke in Commando..

Go forth and conquer, gentlemen.

September 2, 2008

This dude isn't going to be very happy this Sunday either...

DKSB sez:

Seahawks 17, Bills 16

Why not another dramatic road win in the rust belt to open the season, ala Cleveland in 2001 and Detroit in 2006? Olindo Mare makes us forget Benedict Brown with a 50-yard game winner at the gun...

Something I didn't know: This will be only the third time the Seahawks have played in Buffalo in 33 seasons, and we won't be back there again until 2016... Now that I think of it, our trip in 2016 will likely be to Toronto, not Buffalo. Poor bastards... First Tim Russert dies, and now it's just a matter of time before the team bolts America's 49th biggest city for the 5th biggest city in North America.

It probably also kind of sucks for western NY's fans that THIS is probably the 2nd thing that comes to people's minds when they hear the term "Buffalo Bill"

September 1, 2008

We Better Be #1!

This Saturday night at 6 pm Seattle time, the NFL Network is doing another "Top 10" show... This time it's "Top 10 Home Field Advantages." Here's the description on Directv's programming guide:

"Ranking of the best fields to play at home including Qwest Field in Seattle, Veteran's Stadium in Philadelphia and Lambeau Field in Green Bay"

One way to define "home field advantage" is to just tally a team's home record over a given period. However, a relatively mellow/fair-weather base can luck into a dominant team (Patriots in recent years) and a great, intimidating environment can be blunted by a crap team on the field (Arrowhead Stadium). Here's what I'd rate as the 5 biggest home-field advantages in today's NFL:

5. Heinz Field, Pittsburgh
4. Lambeau Field, Green Bay
3. Arrowhead Stadium, Kansas City
2. Mile High Stadium, Denver
1. Qwest Field, Seattle