March 31, 2008

This is Bullshit!

Once again we weren't awarded ANY of the spotlight games on kickoff weekend. They dissed the Seahawks in favor of two teams Seattle beat last year and FOUR teams that missed the playoffs in 2007. You stay classy, NFL. If they give us that Thanksgiving Day game at Dallas I'll be a bit mollified... but not much.

I beat this to death like Barbaro, but FUCK... Only the Colts and Patriots have won more games than the Seahawks over last five seasons, and it's not like the Seahawks are a boring team... We're consistently one of the 5-10 highest scoring offenses in the NFL.

So what the fuck, NFL?

March 29, 2008

Jones v. Hasselbeck

I'm conflicted on this one; These are two of my favorite Seahawks ever.. In fact, these are the two jerseys I'm most likely to wear on gamedays.

How much do I love Hass? I'm a crazy fucking lefty liberal asshole, and I completely overlook Beck's right-wing political beliefs (I do the same thing with Steve Largent)... Not only is he the best quarterback in Seahawks history (Sorry Dave Krieg), but he also comes across as a cool semi-normal guy. He also told Rodney Harrison that he "hit like a fucking fa***t." I don't condone the homophobia, but on the other hand, fuck Rodney Harrison in the ear. :-]

Check the stats:

-86.3 Career QB rating
-3 time pro-bowler
-It sure doesn't hurt that he just had the best single season for a QB in team history

There's a good amount of video on about Beck... Here's my faves:

-Sabol's Shot
-2007 highlights
-Holmgren & Hasselbeck
-Hasselbeck Super Bowl Ad
-Beck's video diary from 2007 training camp

Hass is my favorite player, but the BEST player, and in my opinion, the BEST PLAYER IN SEAHAWKS HISTORY, is Walter Jones. The P-I had a really good piece about why Big Walt should be Canton-bound recently... Here's a taste:

Following the Seahawks' Super Bowl run in 2005, one NFC scout called Jones "not just the most dominating player at his position, but the most dominating player at any position in the NFL."

As much as we all love Steve Largent, he was never a DOMINANT player, and he was probably never the best player in the NFL at his position. Walter Jones is the indispensable man: He is the one player MOST responsible for the current Seahawks golden age. Without him, Matt Hasselbeck isn't an all-pro. Without him, Shaun Alexander would not have had his great run of success in Seattle. Without his off-season commitment to pushing goddamn Escalades around, he wouldn't have maintained his spectacular level of play over more than a decade.

My heart says Hasselbeck, but my brain (EMPHATICALLY) says Big Walt.

What say you?

Strong v. Kennedy

Two relatively unsung bad-asses are going for the Behring Region crown. Make no mistake: Both of these guys could royally fuck shit up. I named my puppy Cortez after we drafted Kennedy in 1990, and Tez lived up to the hype. Inspired to honor his close friend Jerome Brown after his untimely death, Tez changed his number to 99 in 1992 and turned in an all-time great performance: 14 sacks (a huge number for an defensive tackle) and his usual dominance as a run-stopper.. on a 2-14 disaster of a team, no less.

Side note: THAT would be a bad-ass throwback jersey.. Not just a Tez jersey, but a #99 Tez jersey. Tez was also all-pro six times and a pro-bowler eight times, on a team that toiled in mediocre obscurity for almost his entire career. He's very deserving of his place in the Ring of Honor, and merits Hall of Fame consideration.

Mack Strong's career started in those dark days of the '90s, but he got to taste the glory of the Homlgren years as well. In 2005, he was named all-pro and turned in the defining play of his career: a huge 3rd down conversion against the Redskins in the divisional playoffs. The most impressive things about his career? He led the way for 10 different individual 1000-yard rushing efforts over his career, and helped sustain Seattle's ground attack whether he was blocking for Chris Warren, Ricky Watters or Shaun Alexander.

Who ya got?

March 28, 2008

Airing of Grievances: Seattle is NOT a "small market"

Seattle is treated as an insignificant afterthought by the national sports media, and is often dismissed as a rainy, coffee-fueled "small market" backwater.

Thanks to the US Census, here's the list of metro areas smaller than Seattle with NFL teams:

-St. Louis
-San Diego
-Kansas City
-New Orleans
-Green Bay

Yup, among cities with NFL teams, Seattle is the 13th largest.. Actually above average! Not bad for the team from "South Alaska," huh?

Those of us who have actually spent time in Seattle know its got all the pros and cons of a huge American city (the traffic and lack of effective public transportation make me freak out if I'm in town for more than 2 or 3 days). It might be a longer plane ride if you're coming from the east coast, but it's a legit big league town... which makes the idea of the Sonics moving to OKC, a town with TWO MILLION FEWER PEOPLE than Seattle, seem extra super-duper retarded.

UPDATE: Washington is the 13th largest state in terms of population (almost 6.5 million), and if you assume that the Seahawks' "territory" includes WA, OR, AK and BC, that's a "fan base" of almost 15 million people.

Easley v. Krieg

First, here's Kenny Easley... The Greatest Defensive Player in Seahawks History

Unfortunately I couldn't find a video for Dave Krieg, but I think you all know what I think of the guy... For one, just look at the stats...

-10th all-time in TD passes
-11th in passes completed
-12th in passing yards

Plus, I have my own personal memories:

I started rooting for the Seahawks at the age of 8 back in 1983, and the stirring near-comeback against Pittsburgh which won you the starting QB job also made you my co-favorite player along with Steve Largent. So many of the great moments you authored were also among the happiest moments of my childhood. Leading us to victory at Miami in the 1983 playoffs (and recovering nicely after throwing that late INT), throwing 32 touchdown passes in 1984 (and carrying us to the playoffs after the loss of Curt Warner), your amazing 5-game run at the end of the ’86 season, the drive to tie up the ’87 wild card game at Houston and your spectacular play late in ’88 (and your gutsy comeback attempt in Cincinnati) were just some of the highlights that brought excitement being a Seahawks fan in the “ground chuck” era.

Of course, your greatest (and defining) moment was at KC in 1990, when you were sacked NINE times (seven by the great Derrick Thomas) but slipped away on the final play to throw the perfect winning strike to Paul Skansi. I leapt in joy so enthusiastically that I smacked my head on the basement TV room’s ceiling. I was devastated when our idiotic management pushed you out of town (a move our franchise paid dearly for), and though I still was devoted to the ‘Hawks I also took great joy in seeing you lead Detroit to the playoffs with another Dave Krieg hot streak. I truly believe that if you had played your prime years in a larger media market, you’d probably be in the Canton by now.

I’m still a Seahawks season ticket holder after 7 years living in Ohio, and I was lucky enough to be able to fly out to Seattle for the NFC title game last January. It was a special treat to see you out on the field for the coin toss. Symbolically it was the merging of my great childhood memories with the greatest day in Seahawks history. In any case, I really enjoyed your site and I wish you well in everything you do.

Two true all-time greats here, both in the Ring of Honor, both with borderline Hall of Fame credentials.

Who ya got?

Zorn v. Largent

In the finals of the Patera Region, it's two best friends forced to fight to the death.. Just like Kirk and Spock! Or Barnaby Jones and Killface!

I'm no dummy... Largent's gonna win this one. You've got one of the greatest recievers in NFL history v. a QB who threw 30 more interceptions than touchdowns over his career. Older Hawks fans have a lot of fond nostalgia about Zorn, but he frankly wasn't THAT great. DKSB's vote in the last round went for the late Dave Brown, actually.

However, he was named the 8th best moblie QB of all time, and they combined to be named the 10th best passing combo of all time (even thought Dave Krieg threw 46 tds to Largent compared to 43 from Zorn)...

My prejudice in favor of Krieg is coming through quite a bit here, huh? I'm totally open to hearing from the Zornites, because I didn't see him in his prime... What was so compelling about him, despite the putrid stats (a 67.3 career QB rating???? Yipes.)?

Seahawks Bracketology: Elite 8

It's on like Donkey Kong, y'all..

Hasselbeck v. Big Walt!

Krieg v. Easley!

Mack v. Tez!

Zorn v. Largent!

These might not be the 8 greatest players in Seahawks history, but it's close!

In the final four, the Patera Region winner will face the Knox Region winner (and, obviously, the Behring Region victor will face the Holmgren region champ).

Stupid Blogger!

I'm having trouble posting new polls right now, so stay tuned for the elite eight...

End of line.

March 25, 2008

Special Amenities of New Seahawks HQ

This summer the Hawks will move into their new HQ/Training Camp in Renton... What does being owned by a Sci-Fi nerd richer than Scrooge McDuck get you?

-Holodeck (Intended use: gameplanning next week's opponent. Actual use: virtual sex with the cheerleader from Heroes.... Let's hope Brian Russell doesn't go all Lt. Barclay on us)

-Pre-cogs (Let the Patriots use primitive videotape to steal the enemy's signals.. We've got three psychics in a tub of goo to do that for us!)

-You know those guitars that are like, double guitars? We've got tons of those.

-Cyberball arcade game... TJ Duckett will be extra motivated in short yardage situations with a ball about to go "critical" on him.

-Bottomless Pit (for all intents and purposes)

-House band? Presidents of the United States of America (hey, they can competently fight ninjas!)

-The cafeteria serves cheese zombies every day.. Yum!

-Giant Mao-like murals of Tim Ruskell everywhere

-Time machine (Upside: Can change result of Super Bowl XL, kill Sara Connor... Downside? Might create tangent universe where Jake Gyllenhall gets to nail Jena Malone but DOESN'T get crushed by a jet engine in his sleep... or something like this could happen too...)

Personally, I think the holodeck will really help attract free agents. :-]

DKSB's Pre-Draft Power Rankings/Playoff Teams

Seahawk Addicts has posted its pre-draft power rankings, and since I'm an idea-stealing copycat, here's my top 10:

1. Colts
2. Chargers
3. Patriots
4. Seahawks
5. Cowboys
6. Jaguars
7. Browns
8. Giants
9. Saints
10. Vikings

For good measure, here's my playoff seeds (from 1-6) in each conference:

NFC: Seahawks, Cowboys, Saints, Vikings, Giants, Packers

AFC: Colts, Chargers, Patriots, Browns, Jags, Texans

March 24, 2008

Seahawks Bracketology: The Sweet 16

Patera Region

#1 Steve Largent v. #4 Sherman Smith

#2 Jim Zorn v. #3 Dave Brown

Knox Region

#1 Kenny Easley v. #4 Jacob Green

#2 Dave Krieg v. #3 Curt Warner

Behring Region

#1 Cortez Kennedy v. #4 Chris Warren

#2 Mack Strong v. #3 Eugene Robinson

Holmgren Region

#1 Walter Jones v. #5 Lofa Tatupu

#2 Matt Hasselbeck v. #3 Shaun Alexander

Damn, those are some strong match-ups... now it's in your hands...

March 21, 2008

Time to buy that Tatupu jersey (if you haven't yet)

...because Lofa Tatupu just signed a contract extension through 2015, most likely making him a Seahawk for life.

I was on the road all day driving to my in-laws house for Easter Weekend, so this was great news to see once I got online. This makes it even better:

Several defensive players, including Patrick Kerney, Deion Grant, Jordan Babineaux and Craig Terrill, restructured their deals to give the Seahawks the salary cap room they needed to make this move.

This team is SERIOUS about getting that Lombardi Trophy this year, y'all. It's gonna be a fun ride.

March 20, 2008

Behring Region Second Round

The last of the 2nd round match-ups... We'll start the Sweet 16 on Monday, y'all biscuitheads.

#1 Cortez Kennedy v. #8 Brian Blades

#2 Mack Strong v. #10 Michael Sinclair

#3 Eugene Robinson v. #6 Ricky Watters

#4 Chris Warren v. #5 Warren Moon

March 19, 2008

National Media Coverage of the Seahawks (Condensed Version)

(Photo courtesy of The Sports Hernia)

-Boy, they sure miss Steve Hutchinson!

-They drop a lot of passes!

-Shaun Alexander is soft!

-Matt Hasselbeck threw an interception in a playoff game after being boastful five years ago!

-You know what comes from Seattle? Coffee! And Microchips!

-It rains a lot in Seattle! Why don't they have a dome anymore!?!

-You know what never gets old? Pike Place Market fish-throwing footage!

-They can't win on the road! (Regular season road record 2004-2007: 16-16)

-Those green(?!?) uniforms sure look funny!

-Boy, it sure is a long plane ride out here to Seattle!

March 18, 2008

DKSB Hits the Road

Cincinnati (2003)

New Orleans (2004)

Indianapolis (2006)

Detroit (2006)

Cleveland (2007)

St. Louis (2007)

Holmgren Region Second Round

You know the drill... :-]

#1 Walter Jones v. #9 Robbie Tobeck

#2 Matt Hasselbeck v. #7 Bobby Engram

#3 Shaun Alexander v. #11 Julian Peterson

#4 Marcus Trufant v. #5 Lofa Tatupu

Those last two match-ups should be VERY interesting, don't you think?

Represent for the Hawks on KSK!

They're having a "real mascot" 32-team throwdown over on KSK right now, and I encourage y'all to go support the Hawks with a quickness. We're seeded 19th, so let's thrown our weight around and pull an upset or two.

We all know an osprey can fuck your shit up, particularly if you are a fish. Just look at that beak and those talons... Go for the eyes, Hawky the Seahawks Hawk!

In any case, go over to KSK and represent.

Seahawks Bracketology: Knox Region Second Round

No big upsets here in the Knox Region... Here's the 2nd round matchups for y'all to vote on:

#1 Kenny Easley v. #9 Bryan Millard

#2 Dave Krieg v. #10 Rufus Porter

#3 Curt Warner v. #6 Joe Nash

#4 Jacob Green v. #5 John L. Williams

March 17, 2008

80% of DKSB's Readers Appear to be Old Farts

According to a highly scientific* DKSB poll, the plurality of y'all are like me: You were hooked on the Hawks during the Ground Chuck years (83-91). 1983 was the year I became a fan for life... Dave Krieg won the starting QB job with a stirring near-comeback against the Steelers, we swept the hated Raiders in the regular season, won a crazy 51-48 OT game v. KC, and I was introduced to greats like Largent, Easley, Warner and Green.

My dad took me to my first game at the Dome that December, and not only did the Seahawks win, NOT ONLY did Largent score, but the Seahawks clinched the first playoff spot in franchise history. Not a bad way to start, huh? Two weeks later, the Hawks pulled that insane upset in Miami.. Since I was only 8, I expected the Seahawks to win :-]

Sure we lost at L.A. the next week, but it was the start of a great era of Seattle football... and it sure looks like it made a lot of us Hawks fans.

I tip my cap to the old timers who were on board back in the 70s... is it true that Seattle was Raiders country before '76? That's fucking disturbing, man.

And to those of you who adopted the Hawks back in the 90s: I'm impressed. It took balls to be a Seahawks fan in the dark times before Holmgren. For most of the '90s, the most impressive Seahawks accomplishment was Sir-Mix-A-Lot's posse wearing Hawks gear in the Baby Got Back video...

Recent fans might not remember the Dome or the old Blue, Green & Silver unis, but y'all have helped make Qwest Field as ear-shatteringly loud as the Kingdome ever was :-]

*A spectacular lie

Paid In Full

I just paid the tab for my season tickets, which I've kept even though I haven't lived in the pacific northwest since 1999. My parents (who live in the Tri-Cities)actually help out a bit, and they use the tickets the weeks I don't make it out to Qwest.

If you're ever around section 325, row H.. That's where I'd be. :-]

I was at the Bengals game and the Wild-Card game v. DC last year, and I've never seen the Seahawks lose at Seahawks Stadium/Qwest Field (10-0)... Things have changed a bit since I bought the tickets in 1997. Those end-zone seats in the top row of the Kingdome were only $10 apiece (it was nice to have a little shelf behind the seats for our coats, and I usually stood up for the whole game... I also could make a LOT of noise banging on the metal wall behind the seats)... Today my seats at Qwest are $37, which is still pretty affordable by NFL standards.

Who else is a season ticket holder around here? Bonus question: How many of you have NFL Sunday Ticket? Sunday Ticket is probably the greatest human invention since the printing press. :-]

Seahawks Bracketology: Behring Region First Round

After the results of the "play-in" games, here's the last of the First-Round matchups:

Behring Region (1990s Players/"Wild Cards")

16. Grant Wistrom
15. Sam Adams
14. Patrick Kerney
13. Kevin Mawae
12. Darryl Williams
11. Shawn Springs
10. Michael Sinclair
9. Joey Galloway
8. Brian Blades
7. Chad Brown
6. Ricky Watters
5. Warren Moon
4. Chris Warren
3. Eugene Robinson
2. Mack Strong
1. Cortez Kennedy

Vote it up, bitches!

March 16, 2008

Seahawks Soundtrack: Star 69 by R.E.M.

This song just rocks, period.. But I'm also a huge R.E.M. fan since my days at Western. Buzz is they are back to rocking with their new record Accelerate.. Judge for yourself...

Hmm.. how can I tie this back to Seattle?

-4 songs from New Adventures in Hi-Fi were recorded in Seattle

-The song "Let Me In" was about Kurt Cobain

-Peter Buck lives in Seattle and was part owner of The Crocodile Cafe

and how do I connect it to football?

-The band was formed in Athens, GA and Buck, Bill Berry and Mike Mills are reportedly big Georgia Bulldogs backers...

Now back to ravaging midterms with my blue sharpie of doom!

Seahawks Bracketology: Patera Region Second Round

The first results are in, and here are the match-ups for the 2nd round of the Patera Region (1970s players):

#1 Steve Largent v. #9 Keith Simpson

#2 Jim Zorn v. #10 Dan Doornink

#3 Dave Brown v. #11 Steve Raible

#4 Sherman Smith v. #12 Michael Jackson

Upsets abound! Vote on the 2nd round over in the right margin, y'all.

March 14, 2008

Seahawks Soundtrack Double Shot: Entertain by Sleater-Kinney and Titled by Sugar

1. These both show that the gay folk can RAWK (alright, technically one of the ladies in Sleater-Kinney is bisexual, and I think Bob Mould was the only gay guy in Sugar, but you get my point).

2. Listening to either of these songs gets me ready to run through a fucking wall... like this:

That's a good state of mind to be in, particularly if you're going to a game at Qwest.

3. I actually met one of the members of S-K at a show back in 2003 in Columbus, and I bragged about going to an anti-war protest to try to impress her.

4. Sleater-Kinney is local (from Olympia, then Portland), so that's always a plus in my book.

"The Greatest Player to Wear the Uniform"

A reader pointed out that the "greatest player to wear the uniform" is probably Jerry Rice, and I have to agree. The problem is he only wore the uniform for barely half a season at the tail end of his great career (although he did have the final great game of his career against Dallas on MNF... 8 catches for 145 yards and a TD). So while he might be the greatest player to wear a Seattle uniform, he's not even in the discussion about the Greatest. Seahawk. EVER!

Just for fun, here's the five greatest players I've ever seen play (in my opinion):

1. Jerry Rice
2. Lawrence Taylor
3. Barry Sanders
4. Joe Montana
5. Dan Marino

What do y'all think?

Seahawks Bracketology: Multiple play-in games!!!

I've decided to expand the "Play in" games to include a few of the excluded players who have popped up the most in comments and e-mails... Here they are... You'll have until Sunday night at 11:59 to vote... The winners will occupy the bottom four seeds in the Behring Region.

Christian Fauria v. Grant Wistrom

Patrick Hunter v. Sam Adams

Todd Peterson v. Patrick Kerney

Robert Blackmon v. Kevin Mawae

Have at it!

I Heart Cuss Words

I think The Big Lebowski explains it best:

I've gotten some complaints about my liberal use of profanity here on DKSB, and my short response is this:

I talk about dick jokes right up at the top of this bastage.. What did you expect? Maybe momma didn't raise me right, but I grew up on HBO, which meant watching a lot of Scorsese movies and Eddie Murphy Delirious on a loop. An extremely foul mouth is almost encoded in my DNA. That gives me a paper-thin excuse to post a clip from Delirious (and one from Raw)

So anyway, once again those with delicate constitutions are warned that DKSB is R-rated. :-]

I guess I should mix in some Seahawks content here... hmm..

Lofa Tatupu is one carnivorous mother fucker!

March 13, 2008

"Is that Elizabeth's Husband?"

I was out for dinner at McDonalds tonight with my wife and kid, and of course I was rocking my Matt Hasselbeck jersey (gotta represent, right?). Remember... I'm out here in the wilderness of Illinois, caught in the no-man's-land between the Bears' and Rams' territories...

While I'm trying to enjoy my Shamrock Shake, this soccer-mom type taps me on the shoulder and asks "excuse that Elizabeth's husband?" Thankfully, things like this had happened before. I knew I was dealing with a fan of The View, which meant that all she knew about the NFL was probably picked up from four jabbering TV wenches.

As cordially as I could, I said "no, this is her brother-in-law." Then she touched my sleeve and asked "what team is that??" Holding in my rising annoyance, I said "Seahawks." Then she asks "Who does Elizabeth's husband play for?"

"The Cardinals... and he doesn't ever actually play. Matt's actually the much better player," I WANTED to say that Tim Hasselbeck sucks more balls than Kristen from The Emperor's Club, and that one of the myriad reasons I hate The View is that it makes stay-at-home moms think that Tim is a competent NFL QB. Unfortunately there were kids around, so I kept it clean.

Then she says... "Oh. That's not how she makes it sound on The View."

Of course not. :-] But now there's one more midwestern housewife who knows who runs the QB racket in the Hasselbeck clan though, huh? Take that!

Dilfer Cut By Niners... Broadcast booth next?

A nostaligic part of me wants us to re-acquire Trent Dilfer, but then I remember how fucking terrible he looked against us last season... Ick.. Just putrid. I also don't think we really have any logical coaching positions open for him, so I expect him to hang it up and head to the announcer's booth (I think he has a very bright future in broadcasting).

For a brief period, Trent Dilfer was the Seahawks' savior. In relief of Hasselbeck in late 2001 he went 4-0 as the starter and led the Hawks right up to the edge of the playoffs (Fucking John Hall and Spurgeon Wynn fucked us out of a wild card slot). After Dilfer popped his achilles tendon at Dallas in '02, he was mainly a mentor for Hasselbeck. But he also turned in some memorable moments in relief, such as scrambling for a first down late against Arizona in 2004, helping us clinch a playoff spot.

He might be done playing in the NFL, but he'll always be remembered by Seahawks fans... Plus, we might have gained an announcer who knows more than jack-shit about the Seahawks :-]

Seahawks Bracketology: Holmgren Region First Round

Yeah, we're skipping the 90s, but we'll get to the Behring Region after this weekend. Now we start the process of picking the greatest player from the greatest era of Seahawks history... Since 2000:

-A 73-54 Regular Season Record
-Six Winning Seasons
-Five Playoff Appearances
-Four Playoff Victories
-Four NFC West Titles
-One NFC Championship
-3rd best record in the NFL since 2003

The 2005 team looms large over this bracket; only Trent Dilfer and Julian Peterson were not on that squad. So here's the bracket again:

16. Trent Dilfer
15. Mo Morris
14. Josh Brown
13. Joe Jurevicius
12. Rocky Bernard
11. Julian Peterson
10. Chris Gray
9. Robbie Tobeck
8. Darrell Jackson
7. Bobby Engram
6. Steve Hutchinson
5. Lofa Tatupu
4. Marcus Trufant
3. Shaun Alexander
2. Matt Hasselbeck
1. Walter Jones

You can vote on these over in the margin until 11:59 PM (9:59 West Coast time) on March 17.

March 12, 2008

Seahawks Soundtrack: 3000 by Dr. Octagon

I used to be a lot more into hip-hop than I am now, but one CD I used to spin at KUGS-FM back in the 90s really stuck with me: Dr. Octagonecologyst by (duh) Dr. Octagon. For my money, it's the best rap album ever made by anyone not named Public Enemy, but then again I'm a married white guy with kids in his 30s, so what the fuck do I know?

Whenever I listen to 3000 (or Earth People for that matter), I like to imagine Julian Peterson tearing out an opposing QB's spine like he was playing some Mortal Kombat on the Sega Genesis... Kinda like this

Then he drops some extacy and bangs like four seagals... at least that's how it plays out on my twisted mind :-]

Seahawks Bracketology: Here's the easiest part of the job... The cuts.

Even having a 64-player field means some Seahawks players we fondly remember didn't make the cut... Here's a few suggested by readers:

Nesby Glasgow
Alonzo Mitz
BJ Edmonds
Grant Wistrom
John Kasay
Derrick Fenner
Michael Bates

I'll throw in some more...

Patrick Kerney
Ken Hamlin
Paul Johns
Ray Butler
Alex Bannister
Rian Lindell
Michael Boulware
Ken Lucas
Kevin Mawai
Pete Kendall
Greg Gaines
Pete Metzelaars
Charlie Rogers

Anyone else?

Seahawks Bracketology: Knox Region First Round

Wow! Thanks to a plug from the good people over at Seahawk Addicts, we've gotten a HUGE response on our Seahawks Bracketology project. I was going to hold off on posting the matchups for the first round of the Knox Region (1980s players) for a bit, but why not strike while the internets are still hot, huh? Here's the Knox Region again:

16. Mike Tice
15. Fredd Young
14. Bruce Scholtz
13. Norm Johnson
12. Paul Moyer
11. Paul Skansi
10. Rufus Porter
9. Bryan Millard
8. Edwin Bailey
7. Jeff Bryant
6. Joe Nash
5. John L. Williams
4. Jacob Green
3. Curt Warner
2. Dave Krieg
1. Kenny Easley

Voting will be open on these until 11:59 Monday (9:59 on the west coast)... Voting in the Patera Region First Round match-ups will be open until 11:59 Sunday. Don't forget about submissions for a "wild-card" player.. I'll take them here in the comments section. As I wrote before:

I should have done a "play in" game just like the NCAA... So fuck it, why can't I do one anyway? :-] One commenter lamented the omission of Nesby Glasgow, so I'll put the challenge up to y'all: Suggest a "wild card" player, and the one with the most support in the comments here will go up against Christian Fauria in a special "play in" game in the Behring Region. I'll set the deadline for submissions as 11:59 pm on Sunday (9:59 for you west coasters).


I just posted a couple of days ago about the impending release of Shaun Alexander... I wanted to add a few more thoughts, particularly about fan reaction to his release.

First of all, I'm completely in favor of his release. I simply think he's got nothing left, and we are in the business of trying to win XLIII, not wallowing in the past.

However, a lot of the fan reaction has me flummoxed... In my unscientific survey of online reaction (and frankly, out here in Illinois I have little else to go on), I've found most of it to be rabidly negative towards Alexander. There's a depressing "good riddance" edge to a lot of the online chatter about SA, and that's completely unfair... and retarded.

Let's face facts, y'all.. As much as we might not like his running style or his personality, this is the truth about SA:

-He's the only Seahawk to ever be named NFL MVP.
-He's one of the top five players in Seahawks history (I rank him up there with Jones, Largent, Hasselbeck and Easley). Even if you want to argue about that, he's the greatest running back in Seattle history, and that's a group that includes Curt Warner, Ricky Watters and Chris Warren.
-Without him, we would still be part of the pathetic franternity of teams who have never been to a Super Bowl. Isn't it nice to hold something over the Cardinals, Saints, Lions, Browns, Texans, and Jaguars?

Yes, he's gotta go. But why all the hate for a guy who was absolutely essential to the greatest season (and greatest era) in Seattle Seahawks history?

I really don't get it. On the other hand, even I have to admit this is pretty funny.

March 11, 2008

Seahawks Soundtrack: Life Wasted by Pearl Jam

This is the first of an intermittent series about songs on the "Seahawks Hype-Up" playlist from my iPod. Yes, I'm that much of a dork... I have a playlist I listen to the morning of Seahawks games to help get me pumped up (that and usually a couple of red bulls). I thought it was appropriate to start out with Seattle's own Pearl Jam:

Side note: When I was going to school at Western I saw them play live at Key Arena in '95... I scored free tickets from my job at good ol' KUGS-FM. :-]

Here's a bonus clip: Pearl Jam and Neil Young Rock the Free World at the 1993 MTV Video Awards... Enjoy!

Seahawks Bracketology

I'm not that big of a college basketball fan (frankly, I couldn't give less of a crap about college sports in general), but I do like dicking around making random brackets... So let's see how this goes: A 64-team tourney to determine the GREATEST SEAHAWKS PLAYER EVER!!!! Here's my brackets and seedings.

Patera Region (1970s Players)

16. John Sawyer
15. David Sims
14. Kerry Justin
13. Efren Herrera
12. Michael Jackson
11. Steve Raible
10. Dan Doornink
9. Keith Simpson
8. Steve August
7. Keith Butler
6. John Harris
5. Sam McCullum
4. Sherman Smith
3. Dave Brown
2. Jim Zorn
1. Steve Largent

Knox Region (1980s Players)

16. Mike Tice
15. Fredd Young
14. Bruce Scholtz
13. Norm Johnson
12. Paul Moyer
11. Paul Skansi
10. Rufus Porter
9. Bryan Millard
8. Edwin Bailey
7. Jeff Bryant
6. Joe Nash
5. John L. Williams
4. Jacob Green
3. Curt Warner
2. Dave Krieg
1. Kenny Easley

Behring Region (1990s Players)

16. Christian Fauria
15. Patrick Hunter
14. Todd Peterson
13. Robert Blackmon
12. Darryl Williams
11. Shawn Springs
10. Michael Sinclair
9. Joey Galloway
8. Brian Blades
7. Chad Brown
6. Ricky Watters
5. Warren Moon
4. Chris Warren
3. Eugene Robinson
2. Mack Strong
1. Cortez Kennedy

Holmgren Region (2000s Players)

16. Trent Dilfer
15. Mo Morris
14. Josh Brown
13. Joe Jurevicius
12. Rocky Bernard
11. Julian Peterson
10. Chris Gray
9. Robbie Tobeck
8. Darrell Jackson
7. Bobby Engram
6. Steve Hutchinson
5. Lofa Tatupu
4. Marcus Trufant
3. Shaun Alexander
2. Matt Hasselbeck
1. Walter Jones

Let's start with the Patera Bracket... You'll see the match-ups in right-hand margin, and you have until Sunday to vote, so get to it!

UPDATE: I should have done a "play in" game just like the NCAA... So fuck it, why can't I do one anyway? :-] One commenter lamented the omission of Nesby Glasgow, so I'll put the challenge up to y'all: Suggest a "wild card" player, and the one with the most support in the comments here will go up against Christian Fauria in a special "play in" game in the Behring Region. I'll set the deadline for submissions as 11:59 pm on Sunday (9:59 for you west coasters).

Also, I toyed with the idea of a "non-players" bracket, but couldn't make it work... Here's how far I got:

Proposed Kirkland Region

15. .... and that's as far as I got
14. Randy Mueller
13. John Thompson
12. Jack Patera
11. Dennis Erikson
10. The Nordstroms
9. Pete Gross
8. Rusty Tillman
7. Tom Catlin
6. Mike McCormack
5. Tim Ruskell
4. The 12th Man
3. Chuck Knox
2. Paul Allen
1. Mike Holmgren

March 10, 2008

Could Someone Explain to Me Why We Shouldn't Move Seneca Wallace to WR?

I'd never claim to be an expert, or know more about the players than the front office & coaches do, but it seems really obvious that Seneca Wallace should be moved to WR full time. Why?

1. We'll be thin at WR, particularly if we lose D.J. Hackett in free agency. Plus, even in the best-case scenario DB won't be back until mid-season. Yes, I know Ruskell is high on Logan Payne, Courtney Taylor and Ben Obamanu, but we need more firepower here.

2. Charlie Frye should be able to nail down the #2 QB spot, and we can snag a developmental project-type guy in the draft. Frankly, if Hass suffers a major injury we are not going to XLIII anyway.

3. Seneca Wallace being on the field as the 3rd or 4th WR would seem to massively open up the offense. In Holmgren's last ride, why not roll the dice?

4. This video from his days at Iowa State

Seriously.. Why SHOULDN'T we do this?

March 9, 2008

Matt Halpertbeck?

Matt Hasselbeck reminds me of Jim Halpert from The Office, but without hair... As a side note, my wife also thinks both guys are teh hot (but only if Beck is wearing a hat).

As a bonus, here's a cool commercial featuring Hass from.. I wanna say 2004?

March 8, 2008

Hypothetical Seahawks 2008 Schedule That I Totally Just Pulled Out of My Ass

The 2008 NFL Schedule will be announced on April 3. Here's my totally uninformed guess as to what it will look like... I'll revisit this a month from now to see how close I came to being right. (I also put my guesses at to the wins and losses)

9/4/08 @ NYG (NFL Kickoff Special on NBC) (0-1)
9/14/08 v. AZ (1-1)
9/21/08 @ Miami (2-1)
9/29/08 v. DC (MNF) (3-1)
10/5/08 (BYE WEEK)
10/12/08 @ STL (4-1)
10/19/08 @ TB (4-2)
10/26/08 v. NE (SNF) (4-3)
11/2/08 v. SF (5-3)
11/9/08 @ AZ (6-3)
11/16/08 v. NYJ (7-3)
11/23/08 v. STL (8-3)
11/27/08 @ DAL (Thanksgiving Day on FOX) (8-4)
12/7/08 @ BUF (Game played at Toronto Skydome) (9-4)
12/14/08 v. PHI (10-4)
12/21/08 @ SF (11-4)
12/28/08 v. GB (12-4)

I've got Seattle going 7-1 at home & 5-3 on the road. 6-0 in the division is not just plausible; It will probably be essential to the quest for HFA. 12-4 should be good enough for at least a first-round bye, don't you think?

I also projected 4 national TV games; two on NBC, one on ESPN and one on FOX thanksgiving day. What do y'all think?

The Legacy of Shaun Alexander

With the signing of Julius Jones and T.J. Duckett in recent days, it certainly appears that the Shaun Alexander era is coming to a close. My cut-throat reaction to the news left my wife slack-jawed:

"Well, thanks for the memories Shaun, but you're not very good anymore.. soooo.. bye!"
I always had mixed feelings about SA. I was never a flat-out hater, booing him at home games... but he was also never even close to one of my favorite players either. I never wanted a #37 jersey, for example. Why? Look at this guy's resume:

-2005 NFL MVP (including 28 touchdowns and 1880 rushing yards)
-112 career touchdowns (#1 in Seahawks history; #14 in NFL history)
-9,429 career rushing yards (#1 in Seahawks history)

But there's also a lot of stuff that, frankly, made him look like a self-centered pussy:

-The "stab in the back" comment after failing to win the NFL rushing crown in 2004.
-Rightly or wrongly, his rushing style made him often look like a douche. It may have saved wear and tear and prolonged his career, but it also didn't help him look like a hard-nosed tough guy.
-The (hopefully) coincidence that his best season occurred when he was up for a huge new contract, followed by a dizzying decline in production thereafter.
-His lack of abilty/enthusiasm in pass blocking and/or pass catching out of the backfield, forcing Holmgren to take one of his best players off the field in a lot of situations.

How should he be remembered? He won't (and shouldn't) get into Canton, but he should certainly end up in the Seahawks Ring of Honor ASAP. Here's what I'll remember as the top 5 highlights of his Seattle career:

5. 201 yards on 40(!) carries in the snow v. GB on MNF in 2006
4. His 88-yard TD run at Arizona in 2005
3. FIVE first-half TDs v. Minnesota on SNF in 2002
2. 266 yards and 3 TDs on Sunday Night Football v. Oakland in 2001
1. 132 yards on 34 carries/2 TDs in the 2005 NFC Title Game victory over Carolina

Let's not be dicks about this.. what are your fondest memories of SA in Seattle blue?

March 6, 2008

Raising a Seahawks fan.. So far so good.

Three times in the last couple of weeks, my 2-year-old son Jack has gotten up in the morning, went right to his dresser, and pulled out Seahawks gear that he wanted to wear. Next to his first steps and first word, these are my proudest moments as a parent.

One of the few things I really shared with my dad growing up was love for the Seahawks. When I was a wee 8-year-old fan, he took me to my first game at the dome in 1983. The Seahawks beat the Patriots 24-6 and made the playoffs for the first time ever, and I was hooked for life. I hope I can share that same sort of Seahawks-related joy with my kid...

I'm fully aware that this could go sour over the long term. Growing up out here in the midwest, he could end up a Rams or Bears fan. Even worse, he could grow up to be some emo or goth kid decrying my love for a "corporate bloodsport." Ugh.

But just like the cylons, I have a plan... I've exposed him to the Seahawks from day one, and used NFL Sunday Ticket and NFL network to aggressively indoctrinate him. He'll never have to miss a chance to watch the Hawks, thanks to the miracle of satellite television.

The biggest part of the plan is a trip to Qwest Field with him during the 2014 season. He'll be 8 years old, and I'll pick a game the Hawks are pretty sure to win.. We play Oakland at home that year... they'll probably still fucking suck, and I can build up his hatred of the Raiders to boot! If I'm lucky, Lofa will still be playing for Seattle at that point.. and who knows... Maybe 39-year-old Hass will still be the QB :-]

Anyway, that should be enough to hook the kid for life. Which leads to a question sort of inspired by one of the current polls: How did you become a Seahawks fan? Was it handed down to you, or did you find the Hawks on your own? Do you root for just Seattle teams (I don't... I root for the Red Sox almost as passionately as I do for the Seahawks, which made things a little weird the couple of times I've gone to a Red Sox game at Safeco on Saturday and a Hawks game on Sunday... This summer I might be able to pull off going to see the Sox at Safeco and a trip to Seahawks training camp during the same week..)?

March 4, 2008

Good Riddance, Favre.

"You're still not as good as me, you overrated asswedge."

This is where I'm supposed to magnanimously wax poetic about the career of Brett Favre, right? Pffft. Fuck that guy. My only regret is that we'll probably have to put up with him as an announcer from here on out and suffer through days of masturbatory reflections on his overlong and overrated career.

First of all, I know he's racked up all these passing records, but he's also pulled these tricks off:

-SIX interceptions in a 2001 playoff game at STL
-That astoundingly stupid interception he tossed in OT at Philly in the 2003 Playoffs
-An even STUPIDER interception in OT of this year's NFC title game v. NYG

Oh, but I'm supposed to forgive him because he was "just trying to make a play," right? Fuck that noise. In fact, I'd rank ALL of these QBs above him on my all-time list:

1. Joe Montana
2. Dan Marino
3. John Elway
4. Payton Manning
5. Tom Brady
6. John Unitas
7. Terry Bradshaw
8. Roger Staubach
9. Steve Young
10. Troy Aikman

Suck on that Favre... You're not even in the top ten, you pill-popping douche.

The fucked thing is this: Green Bay has only won three playoff games since 1998, and two were against the Seahawks. Fuck!

I can't wait to watch us make Aaron Rodgers our bitch at Qwest next fall...

March 3, 2008

I feel ya, Sonics fans.

As I've said here before, I'm an asshole. One bit of evidence to support this is the 1996 NBA finals. I was going to college at Western, and at the end of my junior year I was still living in the Fairhaven dorms (they're really fucking sweet dorms.. plus, I lost my v-chip in March of 96 at that dorm, so it must have had good mojo).

While everyone else showed up to watch the Sonics battle the Bulls dressed in Seattle regalia, there I was in my MJ jersey. I relished playing the villain, and was a total dick about it to boot. I even taunted a female friend's MOM about those finals.

That doesn't mean I lack sympathy for Sonics fans right now. They're all but certain to lose their team soon, as its scalawag ownership prepares to leave the nation's fourteenth largest media market for the 45th biggest (fuck you, OKC). You can read some Sonic fan reactions here...

We all went through this in 1996 (not that long before the Sonics played in the NBA finals), when Ken Behring announced his intention to move the Seahawks to L.A.

Shit.. That fat old fuck even moved the team's equipment down south, and it was only the intervention of Paul Allen that prevented the Seattle Seahawks from becoming the L.A. Blackhawks (or some other dumbfuck new name). There was no way I could stay loyal to the organization if they moved. I even went through the mental progression of picking out a new team to root for, in case the apocalypse actually happened. The finalists were:

-New England
-Green Bay

I eventually settled on New England, because I loved Drew Bledsoe and I was already a Red Sox fan. Thankfully it never came to that; Allen bought the team and I became a season ticket holder when he slashed the price of upper-deck end zone tickets to $10 in 1997. Those seats are $37 now, but they'll have to pry them from my cold, dead hands.

We are lucky enough to root for one of the best organizations in sports. We have a billionaire owner who is smart enough not to meddle, and we have the best stadium in the NFL. We also have a hall-of-fame coach and a team that is a legit Super Bowl contender.

Before we bitch and moan about how free agency is going, remember those dark days of 1996, and how close we came to the pain Sonics fans are about to endure.

Sorry, my basketball-loving brethren... You don't deserve this shit. Maybe this youtube clip of Shawn Kemp dunks will cheer you up?

March 1, 2008

Anger is a Gift

DKSB's poll on "Most Hated Team" has concluded, and here's the results:

-San Francisco 49ers: 5% (3 votes)

I actually used to kinda like the Niners back in Seattle's AFC West days unless they were playing the Hawks. Rice, Montana, Lott, Craig, etc... Unless you were a Cowboys or Bengals fan, how could you not like those guys?

I got over that pretty quickly when T.O. busted out his sharpie. Fucktard.

Worst Moment vs: Owens pulling out the sharpie on MNF and the Hawks not running down to the end zone en masse to beat him to death.

Best Moment vs: Winning at Candlestick on the final week of 2003 to stay alive for a playoff spot.

-St. Louis Rams: 5% (3 votes)

There is nothing likeable about the Rams. They're a carpetbagging itinerant team who plays inside of a glorified airplane hangar. They tormented us from 2002-2004, but since then we've owned their pathetic, coal-black souls. I'd guess that STL would have gotten more votes if the poll was taken after Josh Brown signed with them.

Worst moment vs: All of 2004, but specifically blowing a 27-10 4th quarter lead at Qwest.. It was all downhill after that.

Best moment vs: Despite his recent betrayal, JB's game-winning kick at STL in 2006 will always be one of my favorite moments in team history.

-Denver Broncos: 9% (5 votes)

The oldsters around here probably still have deep emotional scars from the Elway years. The horse-faced wonder threw for more TDs/yards and won more games against Seattle than any other team. It was a fucking nightmare, kids.

Worst moment vs: Losing to Denver at the Kingdome in the 1984 season finale, blowing a first-round bye.

Best moment vs: Steve Largent destroying Mike Harden in a 1987 win at the Kingdome.

-Dallas Cowboys: 18% (10 votes)

Unless you live in the Dallas metro area, rooting for the Cowboys makes you an utter douchefuck who the entire county loathes. America's team my balls. From Miami to Seattle, from San Deigo to Boston, Americans are united in hatred of that fucking club. I mean, jeez... Hitler is a fan!

Worst moment vs: That MNF collapse at Qwest in 2004... I'm STILL waiting for a decent explanation for the booth failing to review Keyshawn Johnson's "touchdown" late in the game

Best moment vs: Our 21-20 win at Qwest in the 2006 Wild Card playoff.

-L.A./Oakland Raiders: 20% (11 votes)

Another favorite target of national hate, but we battled them for over 20 years in the AFC West. How much did we all hate the Raiders? Behring's greatest crime besides trying to move the team to California was hiring Tom "I teabag Al Davis' wrinkly ballsack" Flores as head coach in 1992. I'm still half-convinced he coached us to 2-14 on purpose... Fucking L.A. Raider sleeper agent.

Worst moment vs: Bo Jax stampeding us on MNF at the dome in 1987.

Best moment vs: Winning at L.A. in the final game of the 1988 season to clinch Seattle's first division title.

-Pittsburgh Steelers: 40% (22 votes)

I guess I don't really need to explain this one, do I? If so, go read this..

Fuck Pittsbugh. If the football gods like us, they will allow us to stomp their asses in XLIII and we can wipe away their various guts and bodily fluids with those stupid yellow towels their fans wave around.

Josh Brown: Worse than Hutch?

Oh JB, I had such a man crush on you. I even bought your jersey last year. Now you've become so convinced that you're Adam Viniateri that, just like him, you've left the team you made your name with to join their hated rivals. You're also now the highest paid kicker in the NFL, even though you STILL would have accomplished that if you had accepted Seattle's latest offer.

Yup, Josh Brown jumped to the Rams for an extra $200,000. What a fucking douche. As Seahawk Addicts argued, Brown is quite a good kicker but still expendable. I actually think JB's decision here is more despicable than Hutchinson's two years ago. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Hutch at least leave for a MUCH larger deal than Seattle put on the table? We'll hopefully use the free cap room to help sign a guy like Alge Crumpler, and replace JB with a cheap youngster in the draft.

Brown gave us a lot of great memories, but at this point I look forward to him shanking a couple when the Hawks play at STL next year (just like he did in XL, by the way). I'll be there to bray in shameful joy. :-]

That's the last time I buy a fucking kicker's jersey. Assbag.

UPDATE: Here I am a year ago with my favorite birthday present. Now I'll have to garage sale this fucker for two bits like I did with my Galloway jersey.