One thing I learned pretty quickly once I moved to the midwest: The attitude of folks out here towards the Seahawks is almost always either
A) Total ignorance
B) Inexplicably intense contempt
Hell, my wife didn't even know Seattle had an NFL team before we met in 2000... and it's not like she's a sports-phobic gal: She's a big Ohio State and Detroit Tigers fan. Now she knows more about the Seahawks than she ever cared to, simply through second-hand fandom.
Anyway, whenever people address the fact that I'm a Seahawks fan out here, the first question is almost always: "Why are you a Seahawks fan?" This question is usually paired with a facial expression one might make when they smell a fart. The only answer that is even remotely satisfactory to them is "I'm from out there." Any other response leaves them utterly flummoxed. Why?
One reason: To most people out here, I'm the first Seahawks fan they have EVER met. They have probably seen more manatees or monkeys than Seahawks fans in their lives, so I'm instantly a novelty. But in the questioning there's almost always also a touch of "Why the fuck would anyone like THAT team?" Even when we were in the glory days of 2003-2007, I had numerous dickholes express mock sympathy for me when they found out I was a soldier in the Twelve Army.
At least back then I could retort with "Oh yes, it totally sucks to root for a team that has the 3rd best record in the league since realignment, 5 straight playoff appearances, 4 straight division titles, and an NFC Championship." That was always DEEPLY satisfying.
Unfortunately, we DO suck now, so that's no longer an arrow in my rhetorical quiver.
For example, today I went to Lids at the mall to get a new Seahawks cap. I had $20 of birthday money in my pocket (thanks Mom), and I wanted a dark blue Seahawks hat. You see, pretty much my closet is filled with different shades of blue... So blue Seahawks hats + blue Red Sox hats + blue Seahawks shirts + blue Red Sox shirts = a full wardrobe for yours truly.
As an aside: I HATE Lids. The store is usually filled with semi-literate frat-boy douchenozzles, and the people that work there are always trying to get you to join their fucktarded "hat club," or get asstacular personalized stitching, or buy some completely fucking unnecessary "hat care" crap. I'd love to not shop there.
However, my options for buying Seahawks hats out here are limited, and I'm not going to buy a hat blindly on the internet. Yeah, you see a picture, but you might get a hat with fucked-up stitching, or it might not fit quite right, etc. I gotta handle a hat before I buy it (same goes for jerseys).
Keep this in mind: I am there at Lids to SPEND MONEY. To give them cold, hard American currency. They should be nice to me, no? Also, I'm wearing my bad-ass Seahawks hoodie, so it's pretty obvious I'm a Seattle fan.
I get to the register to buy my hat, and this is what the clerk lady says:
"Are you sure you want a hat for a mediocre team rather than a good team?"
What. The. FUCK?
I glare at her, absolutely mute. Finally she breaks the tension by saying "my son is a Seahawks fan." Still, I glared, mind-knives shooting out of my eyeballs. She asked me about buying all the stupid extraneous bullshit and earned a terse "No" to each query. Finally I ask "so why is your son a Seahawks fan?" Her reply, I shit you not:
"I have no idea. I think he might be mentally challenged."
Let's imagine you're at the Southcenter Lids: Can you imagine the clerk talking shit like that to a Browns fan? A Bengals fan? Colts? Steelers? (Ok, maybe the Lions)
I seriously considered not buying the hat, but my desire to represent trumped my hunger to stick it to this fucking moron. As she gave me my change, and said "thank you," I told her that was the last thing I would buy there. Yeah, I know... weak comeback. I was half-stunned by how god damn retarded it was to blatantly insult someone who wants to BUY SOMETHING FROM YOU.
So, I leave you with two questions: Why are we Seahawks fans treated like lepers with Cancer-AIDS? What is your most stunning story of ignorant, hateful boobery directed at you and our Seahawks? Go!