I've never been a fan of any Seattle team besides the Seahawks, but sports fans back home deserve some fucking JOY. Two of the city's major pro sports teams have fled the area (hell, the Seattle Pilots left after ONE FUCKING YEAR, and were only replaced with the Mariners after the threat of Federal intervention against MLB), and EVERY major professional team has come close to fleeing at one point or another. As if the constant fear of abandonment isn't horrifying enough, Seattle's pro teams haven't exactly left their trophy cases over-stuffed with Championships. Yes, the Sonics won in 1979. When I was 4. Yes, the Storm won a title- Huzzah for them, of course... but fairly or not, conquering the WNBA doesn't quite slake Seattle's thirst for winning. I heard the Sounders won SOMETHING, but I'm not quite sure how significant it was (and let's be fucking real- is MLS even the global soccer equivalent of AAA baseball?). This is America, and the sports fans of a major American metropolis like Seattle want any or all of the following things: Super Bowl win, NBA title, World Series win, or a Stanley Cup.
Until Chris Hansen's dreams blossom into glorious reality, the only chances Seattle fans have for ultimate "Fuck All Y'all!" glory come from the Mariners and the Seahawks. I'm not going to be a dick and crap all over the M's, but ask any fan- They're not on a path that will lead to a pennant, let alone a World Series victory, in the immediate future. The great hope, the vessel than could soothe decades of anger, frustration, and agony with the balm only won with a Championship- That would be your Seattle Seahawks.
Skeptics abound- around the nation and even within the Seahawks' own fan base. They'll say the Seahawks have gone 14-18 in the regular season under Pete Carroll. They'll nitpick. They'll jump on any bit of negativity and doubt to tell you "See! SEE??? Carroll is doomed to fail!" They'll tell you lame USC-related jokes that they think are clever on a Louis CK level, and you'll have to resist the urge to punch them in the face. They'll ignore a defense that is primed to become one of the very best in the NFL- A unit that might be of Super Bowl-quality THIS year. They'll ignore an offense that only needs better QB play (not even ELITE QB play) and normal health among the linemen to drive Seattle into a deep playoff run. I look at the 2012 Seahawks and see 10 wins and the playoffs- but the ceiling could be even higher. Like the 1999 Rams or 2000 Ravens, these Seahawks might go directly from a losing season to a World Championship. No, I am not kidding or whacked out on Bath Salts.
We could be close to the lowest, most depressing moment in the history of Seattle professional sports. If Clay Bennett hoists the Larry O'Brien Trophy in a week or so, Seattle's profane cries of agony will ring out from coast to coast. And yes, millions of assholes will tell Seattle to "get over it." That should sound familiar to most Seahawks fans.
I'm here to tell you that there won't be time to wallow. In just a couple of months Earl Thomas will make you forget about Kevin Durant. Marshawn Lynch will push Serge Ibaka from your consciousness. Kam Chancellor will make you say "Westbrook? Who?" Doug Baldwin will distract you from your rage toward Howard Schultz. Great, entertaining, winning football is coming- and I believe Pete Carroll will bring a Major Professional Championship to Seattle for the first time in most of our memories.
That being said... Fuck OKC. Seriously. Fuck those assholes.
What do you think, sirs?