June 11, 2012

The Seahawks Will Make You Forget About The Thunder


The team formerly known as the Seattle Supersonics is in the NBA Finals, and the mood among Seattle sports fans is absolutely toxic. Even though I was never a Sonics fan, their departure for dusty, windblown Oklahoma City wounded me as well. A vast population of my fellow Seahawks fans, of my fellow Washingtonians, saw a team they loved and cherished abandon them- abandon their devotion, their passion, and their emotional (not to mention financial) support. It wasn't that long ago that this almost happened to the Twelve Army (and who knows.. maybe it did in some alternate timeline). I can't even fathom what that would have done to me. For a committed, passionate sports fan a team moving away is equivalent to death. A part of me would have died if the Seahawks had moved to L.A. 15 years ago, so I become almost physically ill when I ruminate on what Sonics fans must be going through right now, on top of the humiliation and pain they've already endured.

I've never been a fan of any Seattle team besides the Seahawks, but sports fans back home deserve some fucking JOY. Two of the city's major pro sports teams have fled the area (hell, the Seattle Pilots left after ONE FUCKING YEAR, and were only replaced with the Mariners after the threat of Federal intervention against MLB), and EVERY major professional team has come close to fleeing at one point or another. As if the constant fear of abandonment isn't horrifying enough, Seattle's pro teams haven't exactly left their trophy cases over-stuffed with Championships. Yes, the Sonics won in 1979. When I was 4. Yes, the Storm won a title- Huzzah for them, of course... but fairly or not, conquering the WNBA doesn't quite slake Seattle's thirst for winning. I heard the Sounders won SOMETHING, but I'm not quite sure how significant it was (and let's be fucking real- is MLS even the global soccer equivalent of AAA baseball?). This is America, and the sports fans of a major American metropolis like Seattle want any or all of the following things: Super Bowl win, NBA title, World Series win, or a Stanley Cup.

Until Chris Hansen's dreams blossom into glorious reality, the only chances Seattle fans have for ultimate "Fuck All Y'all!" glory come from the Mariners and the Seahawks. I'm not going to be a dick and crap all over the M's, but ask any fan- They're not on a path that will lead to a pennant, let alone a World Series victory, in the immediate future. The great hope, the vessel than could soothe decades of anger, frustration, and agony with the balm only won with a Championship- That would be your Seattle Seahawks.

Skeptics abound- around the nation and even within the Seahawks' own fan base. They'll say the Seahawks have gone 14-18 in the regular season under Pete Carroll. They'll nitpick. They'll jump on any bit of negativity and doubt to tell you "See! SEE??? Carroll is doomed to fail!" They'll tell you lame USC-related jokes that they think are clever on a Louis CK level, and you'll have to resist the urge to punch them in the face. They'll ignore a defense that is primed to become one of the very best in the NFL- A unit that might be of Super Bowl-quality THIS year. They'll ignore an offense that only needs better QB play (not even ELITE QB play) and normal health among the linemen to drive Seattle into a deep playoff run. I look at the 2012 Seahawks and see 10 wins and the playoffs- but the ceiling could be even higher. Like the 1999 Rams or 2000 Ravens, these Seahawks might go directly from a losing season to a World Championship. No, I am not kidding or whacked out on Bath Salts.

We could be close to the lowest, most depressing moment in the history of Seattle professional sports. If Clay Bennett hoists the Larry O'Brien Trophy in a week or so, Seattle's profane cries of agony will ring out from coast to coast. And yes, millions of assholes will tell Seattle to "get over it." That should sound familiar to most Seahawks fans.

I'm here to tell you that there won't be time to wallow. In just a couple of months Earl Thomas will make you forget about Kevin Durant. Marshawn Lynch will push Serge Ibaka from your consciousness. Kam Chancellor will make you say "Westbrook? Who?" Doug Baldwin will distract you from your rage toward Howard Schultz. Great, entertaining, winning football is coming- and I believe Pete Carroll will bring a  Major Professional Championship to Seattle for the first time in most of our memories.

That being said... Fuck OKC. Seriously. Fuck those assholes.

What do you think, sirs?


8 comments:

Cee said...

Preach it brotha! Fuck'em OKC!! Gooooooooooo!!!! Seahawks!

Chris Trimis said...

YES! Amen! Also, great to see a post from you Johnny, it has been far too long since I've gotten my fix of DKSB!

fanskad said...

Give some love for the Sounders. Three time consecutive US Open Cup winners - They're also perennial contenders in the MLS playoffs.

MLS is on the rise. Sounders are one of half the teams in the league that consistently draw capacity crowds (30,000+ in the case of the Sounders), the sport is a great deal of fun to watch live.

Sure, our national league (or team) isn't on even footing with the best leagues in Europe, but we're improving. It's really only a matter of time until we achieve something close to parity - and win that Men's World Cup title.

DKSB said...

Fanskad,
You acknowledge that the MLS/US Soccer isn't at the same level as best leagues around the globe- How then could an MLS Cup or US Open Cup title POSSIBLY mean as much to Seattle as a Super Bowl or World Series win? It's just not the same. Sorry.

I've been to my share of MLS games. Yes, it's fun. But it's AAA ball at best.

And I'll admit- My feelings towards the Sounders are a bit tainted by the noisy minority of their fans who go out of their way to fuck with/shit on the Seahawks... and I won't abide that.

neurocell said...

Welcome back.
I'll always have to disagree with you on the Sounders, but I haven't had the experiences that you have. It blows my mind that every Seattle team that's been to a championship game/series has been screwed. None of them as bad as the Metropolitans, in the Stanley Cup. It's kinda hard to beat three of your top players dying from influenza. On a side note, it's only been 95 years since Seattle was the first US team to win Lord Stanley's cup.
You know, I think that I would rather take a sand blaster to my nuts than see the thunder win.
With all that said, it would have hurt so much more if the Hawks would've made the Super Bowl after moving to LA. Did you ever think that ken behring would be replaced as the most reviled person in Seattle sports history. #1-bennett, #2-rod stern, #3-behring.
I always feel that the Hawks will win the Super Bowl, and this year is different. I normally have to use logical arguments to shut people up about the Seahawks. This year, I don't have to argue it as much. I had this same discussion with a 49er fan. He's pretty nervous about this year. He's not sure how it's gonna play out, and he's worried that the Hawks may have turned the corner like his team did last year.
Anyway, I'm gonna stop rambling. Have fun.

Jeff said...

Yes, i agree....FUCK those ASSHOLES!

bleedshawkblue said...

Missed ya, Beard.

And absolutely FUCK okc. My son's first words he heard in English from his daddy when he was only a few minutes old were "Rebound, play Defense."

The Nate McMillan-led teams (Bernie Ball going 12 deep off the bench in prime time and having it work!) and the Payton/Kemp/Karl juggernauts carried me through some brutal coming of age moments, not the least of which was the era when my Seahawks were sucking syphilitic donkey cock during the Behring years while The Glove was running up a bunch of 60 win seasons.

Those carpetbagging rapists ripped my fucking heart out when they gutted a Nate McMillan-led (one of the alltime great class guys, right up there with Mack Strong as a member of the All Anonymous Hall of Fame) 55 fucking win team that took the eventual champion Spurs to 6 games and skipped town when they couldn't soak us for half a billion after a bunch of 20 win seasons. Fuck those carpetbagging okc bastards, indeed. Zero NBA for me until my Sonics tip off in Seattle again. Until then, GO STORM!!!

And absolutely we are wiping up the league with that defense - 5 DBs in (or snubbed for) the Pro Bowl is reasonable, while opposing qbs will spend a lot of time on the ground, or hurrying throws to help send the aforementioned secondary to Hawaii. And nobody runs on us, ever. The offense will be coldly efficient, moving the chains and making Al Davis giggle maniacally from The Crypt when one of several of our superfreak receiving targets takes the top off some hapless D while they're getting crushed up front by truly frightening BeefMoe-inator play action.

Uncle Petey has seized the torch, and will become the anti-Belichick in the opposite corner of the country. Consider the parallels:

Before Belichick got to South Newfoundland, the only thing the pathetically moribund Pats franchise could show for all their years of futility was the snowplow incident and an epic Super Bowl humiliation. It were a place where careers went to die. And everyone expected a guy who had coached some dominant defenses and failed epically as a head coach to just continue that cycle of slowly circling the drain - he was reviled in Cleveland as "Beavis and Belichick" before he got canned...by fucking Cleveland!!!

Substitute South Alaska for South Newfoundland and some Zorn-to-Herrera muffed field goal hijinks, and it's a perfect parallel. Add Mr. Sunshine's polar opposite approach from Belichick, and we Win Forever. Note that Belichick never won shit in the crucible of the NCAA, while Uncle Pete rolled up pretty much EVERYONE in his path for eleven seasons. And got the rings. With an S, mind you. And the NFL don't give a shit about any of the tickytack recruiting violations, so all the critics can SUCKIT!!!

Michelle Schmit said...

too bad for this team. yeah right Dave, it's totally depressing hearing all these. Fans have wasted much. Let's all hope everything are gonna be ok for Seahawks next season games.