March 15, 2010

When I am King, You Will be First Against the Wall...

Last night I was watching that ESPN 30 for 30 Doc about the Pacers/Knicks rivalry back in the 1990s, and I remarked over on twitter that if I was as rich as Spike Lee, I'd probably be his Seahawks equivalent... Which led Danny O'Neil of the Seattle Times to wonder: Who's our Reggie Miller, then?

These days, I'm not sure who that would be, but that got me thinking: Who is the All-Time Most HATED individual in Seahawks history? Here are my nominees, in alphabetical order:

Marcus Allen
Crimes against Hawkmanity:

-Had a Hall of Fame career playing for two of our divisional rivals
-Instrumental in beating Seattle in 1983 AFC title game

Ken Behring
Crimes against Hawkmanity:

-Ran team into the ground, then tried to move the team to L.A.
-Ran Chuck Knox and Dave Krieg out of town
-Hired Tom Flores as head coach

Stephen Burbank (hat tip to Seth Weniger- trepidation on twitter)
Crimes against Hawkmanity:

-Arbitrator of the Steve Hutchinson poison pill dispute who ruled in the Vikings favor

John Elway
Crimes against Hawkmanity:

-Ruining my childhood
-Owning the Seahawks for a decade and a half

Marshall Faulk
Crimes against Hawkmanity:

-Main offensive weapon for the fucking Rams 02-04
-Total dick towards the Seahawks on NFLN

Tom Flores
Crimes against Hawkmanity:

-Coached the Raiders to two Super Bowl wins in early 80s
-Beat Seahawks in 1983 AFC title game
-Coached the Seahawks to their worst record ever in 1992

Bill Leavy
Crimes against Hawkmanity:

-Referee of Super Bowl XL (do I really need to add anything to that?)

Phil Luckett
Crimes against Hawkmanity:

-Referee of "Phantom TD" game in 98
-Idiotic call probably kept Seattle out of playoffs

Mike Martz
Crimes against Hawkmanity:

-Being a smug, arrogant douchebag
-Leading the Rams dominant strecth over Hawks from 2002-2004

Ben Roethlisberger
Crimes against Hawkmanity:

-QBing the Steelers in XL, winning despite playing like shit
-Being an boorish, boozing dickhole and maybe-raper

What do you think, sirs? Poll in sidebar, y'all..


AH said...

In terms of someone being our Reggie Miller, I think it would have to be Elway. Can you think of another play who routinely ripped out our hearts? From our AFC West days, he's the player that stands out the most from the other teams. Maybe Derrick Thomas of the Chiefs comes close from having memorable games against us, but he doesn't compare to the demeanor that Elway had in those games. The few times we beat him, it felt bigger. Maybe the Raiders were a bigger team rival, but Elway was the man to hate.

I can think of reasons to hate people on this list, but some (Leevy, Rothlisburger) did it once, some (Martz, Faulk) had some good seasons against us, but I don't think anyone on the list compares to Elway from a longevity and soullessness factor.

bleedshawkblue said...

Both Elway and the Raiderheads are contenders, but Bubba Behring is #1.

In addition to running Knox and Krieg out of town and hiring Tom Flores, he overruled Chuck Knox and passed on Brett Favre to draft Dan McGwire!!!!

Huh...if one were to endure the torture of speculation, how 'bout Ground Chuck plus The Gunslinger for an offense?

Baked McBride said...


Mike Harden

Full-On Dan Fouts

Dude from the Viks that put the hurt on Beck with the illegal chop-knees-sack

John Clayton