September 13, 2011

"You can't give back what you've taken from me."

That's what Nic Cage says to Travolta in Face/Off, after the dastardly Castor Troy (wearing Sean Archer's face), offers to switch faces and go back to the previous status quo... This is also EXACTLY how I feel about Super Bowl XL, and it also colors how I am approaching Sunday's game at Pittsburgh.

I've talked about XL in great detail on this blog before, so I don't think I need to rehash everything- But the bottom line is while I'd LOVE to see the Seahawks win on Sunday, this upcoming game will have NO impact on how I feel about what happened in Super Bowl XL.

First of all, while this would be a huge win for the Seahawks (kinda like last season's regular-season win at Chicago, but bigger), there's NO "revenge factor" for Seattle here- Only Leroy Hill and Lofa Tatupu Marcus Trufant remain from the 2005 Seahawks- Other than those two guys, the ENTIRE Seattle organization (expect for Paul Allen) has radically been remade since XL.

Secondly, NOTHING the Seahawks do to the Steelers on Sunday could take away the deep, gnawing, nauseating pain of XL. Even if the Seahawks won 63-0, grievously injured every Steelers player who participated in XL, strung Bill Leavy up on the goalpost by his underpants, and then burned Heinz Field down to the fucking ground IT WOULDN'T MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER ABOUT XL. Even if we stole the goddamn trophy and the NFL agreed to let us keep it, that still wouldn't ease the pain of that pitch-black fucking day. Only one thing can: A Seahawks player and/or coach hoisting the Lombardi Trophy in a confetti storm. That's it. Until then, the XL wound will not- CANNOT- close for me... and nothing that happens Sunday will move that needle one direction or the other.

WARNING: RED SOX CONTENT AHEAD

A LOT of terrible things happened to me as a Red Sox fan from 1986-2003 (Buckner, playoff sweeps, Aaron Fucking Boone, etc).. But the INSTANT that they recorded the final out of the 2004 World Series ALL of that pain went away FOREVER. Now seeing the ball roll through Buckner's legs or watching Boone's homer has absolutely no effect on me, whereas before 2004 I would have averted my eyes to stem a panic attack before it started.

Once the Seahawks win a Super Bowl (and they WILL), then I will feel the same way about XL- "Hey, that sucked- But look at this glittering Lombardi Trophy! Ahhhhhh..." Until then, I'll have to quarantine myself from XL footage and limit my interactions with Pittsburgh fans to the absolute bare minimum- It's the only way to maintain my tenuous grip on sanity.

About Leavy officiating this game: I don't like it, but I'm more perplexed by it than anything. Why would the NFL INVITE a full week of XL rehashing in the run-up to this game by assigning it to Leavy? For Leavy himself, this game is full-on Kobayashi Maru: If questionable calls go Pittsburgh's way? We'll all scream bloody murder, and it will simply reinforce the notion that he is inherently biased- for Pittsburgh, against Seattle, or both. If questionable calls go Seattle's way? Well, we'd all just say (and Pittsburgh fans would join us) that he's trying to "make-up" for XL. The fucker needs to call an almost perfect game to avoid tremendous blowback. I'm sure he's THRILLED with The Rog right now.

Obviously, winning this Sunday would be WAY better than losing- But don't kid yourselves... Even a win won't make us feel any better about XL. And if we lose? It's the best kind of loss: A non-conference loss (and if those Yinzer fucktards also beat the Niners, Cardinals and Rams? It all cancels out, doesn't it?).

What do you think, sirs?

4 comments:

tagjacklin said...

I think you meant Leroy and Trufant are the only ones left from 2005. Tatupu is sitting on his couch muttering profane statements about the Seahawks management and regretting his decision to walk.

Also, nicely played with the Kobayashi Maru metaphor.

DKSB said...

Gotcha- Stupid brainfart one my part- Fixed!

Jonathan Dalar said...

Agreed. With the caveat that absolutely nothing can be gained by making Leavy the ref for this one. Even if he calls a perfect or near-perfect game, we risk the ol' "See, we told you he called the game fair and square" mantra being drug out by the Helen Kellers of Western Pennsylvania.

Like you said, some things never change, and rehashing it isn't going to make anyone feel any better about it.

bleedshawkblue said...

I like all those other measures, though, especially the one about burning Heinz field to the ground.

Fuck the fucking stealers. And this game is winnable, so fuck all the whiners in the 12 army, too, while we're at it.

Anyone else notice that the SF defense was well above average, particularly their pass rush? Anyone else notice we made adjustments and scored 2 TDs on their asses in the second half?

The young guys are getting beat because they're young, and are making adjustments so they don't get beat the same way next time. As opposed to how it's been where the old guys are getting beat because they're old, and are unable to adjust enough because they can't grow another 6 inches in height, or gain 30 more pounds of muscle by next Sunday.

Anyone else notice that the vaunted shittsburg D is the oldest in the league? And their offensive line is playing musical chairs around the ghost of Flozell Adams? And Rapistburger is still a dick?

18-1, BEEEE-YOTCHES!!!! 18-1!!!