Enjoy!
November 7, 2009
November 6, 2009
My Attempt to Win That Signed Beck Practice Jersey...
My friend Woody and I, being jackasses in the TWO old school Hasselbeck jerseys I once owned...
November 5, 2009
A Grim, Joyless Death March
This Sunday the Detroit Lions come to town, and while that's good news for a Seattle team that desperately needs a win, it's a rough assignment for the Twelve Army. Why?
This isn't a game anyone could possibly get excited about, because A) If the Seahawks win, even in blowout fashion, the collective reaction of the football world will be "so?" and B) If Seattle somehow loses, it would be an terrible, intensely embarrassing low-point in franchise history.
How low? Detroit hasn't won a road game in over two years. The Lions are 0-15 away from Ford Field since October 28, 2007. Not only would a loss on Sunday be humiliating and season-killing for the Seahawks, it would be a "Carrie at the prom" level embarrassment for the Twelve Army. Just think about it: How can we claim to provide a huge home field advantage if one of the worst road teams in NFL history wins at Qwest?
We came close to a loss this humiliating against 1-8 Miami in 2004, but Michael Boulware bailed us out with a late game-winning interception return TD. If Sunday's game is even a close win like that, it will be hard to whip up much hope for the rest of this season.
However, the best case scenario looks like this: Fading Kurt Warner throws a few more picks in an Arizona loss at Chicago... The Seahawks convincingly blow Detroit out, and Vince Young somehow rallies the Titans to an upset win at Candlestick. If that happens, next week's game in Glendale will be for 1st place in the NFC West.
Yup, despite everything traumatic and craptacular we've endured this season, we could be in first place 11 days from now. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean that watching the game on Sunday is going to be much fun, unless the Hawks run out to a big early lead and allow all of us to exhale a bit.
Those of you going to the game? You know the drill. Make Stafford's ears bleed. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Jeez. I'm making myself nauseous just thinking about this game.
This isn't a game anyone could possibly get excited about, because A) If the Seahawks win, even in blowout fashion, the collective reaction of the football world will be "so?" and B) If Seattle somehow loses, it would be an terrible, intensely embarrassing low-point in franchise history.
How low? Detroit hasn't won a road game in over two years. The Lions are 0-15 away from Ford Field since October 28, 2007. Not only would a loss on Sunday be humiliating and season-killing for the Seahawks, it would be a "Carrie at the prom" level embarrassment for the Twelve Army. Just think about it: How can we claim to provide a huge home field advantage if one of the worst road teams in NFL history wins at Qwest?
We came close to a loss this humiliating against 1-8 Miami in 2004, but Michael Boulware bailed us out with a late game-winning interception return TD. If Sunday's game is even a close win like that, it will be hard to whip up much hope for the rest of this season.
However, the best case scenario looks like this: Fading Kurt Warner throws a few more picks in an Arizona loss at Chicago... The Seahawks convincingly blow Detroit out, and Vince Young somehow rallies the Titans to an upset win at Candlestick. If that happens, next week's game in Glendale will be for 1st place in the NFC West.
Yup, despite everything traumatic and craptacular we've endured this season, we could be in first place 11 days from now. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean that watching the game on Sunday is going to be much fun, unless the Hawks run out to a big early lead and allow all of us to exhale a bit.
Those of you going to the game? You know the drill. Make Stafford's ears bleed. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Jeez. I'm making myself nauseous just thinking about this game.
November 2, 2009
The Path
As you know, I'm not giving up on the 2009 Seahawks just yet. I've poured over the schedules of the three NFC West contenders AND the NFL tie-breaking procedures. The Seahawks can win the west with an 8-8 record, but they'd obviously need help from other teams around the league. Here's how the playoffs could still happen for the Seahawks... Wins for each team are in bold.
A few things of note:
1. The Niners win any scenario where there is a 3-way tie at 8-8, because they would most likely have the best record in "common games." So the Twelve Army has to hope SF limps to 7-9.
2. The Seahawks MUST win at Arizona in two weeks. There's no plausible path to the playoffs without a victory here, and later at home v. SF. If they lose either game, I will admit that yes, the season is over.
3. I truly believe that almost everything I've laid out is plausible. The least likely part of this scenario? A Jaguars win at Candlestick.
4. The Seahawks make this a LOT simpler by getting to nine wins, but a 7-2 finish feels like a fantastical notion. 6-3 with our schedule? Doable.
I know a lot of you out there are scoffing, rolling your eyes, and/or making a wanking motion. Fine. But if that's your reaction to me trying to give the Twelve Army a glimmer of hope, I wonder why you even bother watching the rest of the season. We watch the games because we want Seattle to win, don't we?
Let's get past the Lions on Sunday, then the season is on the line in Glendale after that.
A few things of note:
1. The Niners win any scenario where there is a 3-way tie at 8-8, because they would most likely have the best record in "common games." So the Twelve Army has to hope SF limps to 7-9.
2. The Seahawks MUST win at Arizona in two weeks. There's no plausible path to the playoffs without a victory here, and later at home v. SF. If they lose either game, I will admit that yes, the season is over.
3. I truly believe that almost everything I've laid out is plausible. The least likely part of this scenario? A Jaguars win at Candlestick.
4. The Seahawks make this a LOT simpler by getting to nine wins, but a 7-2 finish feels like a fantastical notion. 6-3 with our schedule? Doable.
I know a lot of you out there are scoffing, rolling your eyes, and/or making a wanking motion. Fine. But if that's your reaction to me trying to give the Twelve Army a glimmer of hope, I wonder why you even bother watching the rest of the season. We watch the games because we want Seattle to win, don't we?
Let's get past the Lions on Sunday, then the season is on the line in Glendale after that.
November 1, 2009
Delusion and Defiance
The Seahawks sucked today, and people are writing obituaries. They're working on concession speeches and articles of surrender. The message from everywhere I've looked on the internets? The 2009 Seahawks are dead, and the vultures are tearing the rotting flesh from their bones.
I've been watching this team for over a quarter century, and I remember the days where I'd furiously pore over the schedule to figure out what had to happen for the Seahawks to somehow worm their way into the postseason. Most of the time I was just giving myself false hope, but it sure made the rest of the games more entertaining until mathematical elimination spoiled my fun. I'm back to doing that, and I'm here to tell you that this season isn't over... quite yet.
2-5 is a shitty record, and right now the Seahawks are playing like an overpaid UFL team. But the fact is Seattle stands only two games out of first place in the NFC West, and there is a plausible scenario where the Hawks could be tied for first at 4-5 in two weeks time... I'll give you details about the Seahawks path to the playoffs later this week, but for now just trust me when I say that path hasn't been torn up into impassable rubble just yet.
If the Rams can beat the Lions, so can we! If the Panthers can win at Glendale, so can we! I'm not ready to give up. I'm Ed Harris, the Seahawks are Mary Elisabeth Mastrantonio, and I'm not giving up until they start hacking up seawater and gasping for air.
I know I sound like a deluded, insane homer. Who wants to join me in this padded room? Who is fucking WITH ME????
I've been watching this team for over a quarter century, and I remember the days where I'd furiously pore over the schedule to figure out what had to happen for the Seahawks to somehow worm their way into the postseason. Most of the time I was just giving myself false hope, but it sure made the rest of the games more entertaining until mathematical elimination spoiled my fun. I'm back to doing that, and I'm here to tell you that this season isn't over... quite yet.
2-5 is a shitty record, and right now the Seahawks are playing like an overpaid UFL team. But the fact is Seattle stands only two games out of first place in the NFC West, and there is a plausible scenario where the Hawks could be tied for first at 4-5 in two weeks time... I'll give you details about the Seahawks path to the playoffs later this week, but for now just trust me when I say that path hasn't been torn up into impassable rubble just yet.
If the Rams can beat the Lions, so can we! If the Panthers can win at Glendale, so can we! I'm not ready to give up. I'm Ed Harris, the Seahawks are Mary Elisabeth Mastrantonio, and I'm not giving up until they start hacking up seawater and gasping for air.
I know I sound like a deluded, insane homer. Who wants to join me in this padded room? Who is fucking WITH ME????
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