Marshall Faulk is a Douchefuck

Watch this NFL Total Access Clip with Matt Hasselbeck and come back here...

Back? What I love is that Mr. Ram Marshall Faulk

A) Asks Hasselbeck if he's sick of always losing to Favre, and after Beck points out that Seattle beat GB in 2006, Faulk says "that doesn't count."

B) Brings up Hutchinson, who's been gone for TWO FUCKING YEARS. Damn, why not ask him about losing Ricky Watters while you're at it? That's just about as relevant at this point.

And look at that... Not only does Hass graciously not stab Faulk in the neck with a ball-point pen, but he also gives him a free nutrition bar. What a guy, huh?

Faulk has always had a clear anti-Hawk agenda on NFLN; It must burn his ass that STL has descended to bottom-feeding status while the Seahawks rule the NFC West with the brutality of a South American military junta.

What a dicklick.

Airing of Grievances: Blue, Mother Fucker! BLUE!

See All-Pro Seahawks Linebacker Lofa Tatupu over there? I don't know about you, but that uniform looks like it's blue, blue, with some white, some more blue, and just a FUCKING LOT OF BLUE.

However, not a week goes by that I don't read or hear some media type or opposing fan refer to our uniforms as "green."

Just as a reference point, here is the color green:




The totally fucked thing is that we NEVER had green uniforms. Before 2002, the old unis had a bit MORE green, but the main color? That's right: Blue as an emo kid who missed My Chemical Romance when they rolled through town...

This annoyance is right up there with people who don't know Qwest Field is an open air stadium and people who call our quarterback HasselBACK... If you think the Seahawks have green uniforms, you either need a vision test or you are REALLY FUCKING LAZY.

So where does this delusion come from? I'm at a loss.

The 10 Greatest Plays in Seahawks History

Frank Hughes of Seahawks Insider just posted his top 10 Seahawks plays of 2007, so I've decided to trump him by listing my top 10 greatest plays in Seahawks history. Take that, professional journalism!

10. The Phantom Touchdown (1998 Regular Season at NY Jets)

I quote Brandon Petersen:

It was the play that brought back instant replay to the NFL. With 27 seconds remaining, and the Seahawks clinging to a 31 – 26 lead over the Jets at the Meadowlands, Vinny Testaverde called a timeout and trotted to the sidelines to discuss the options with Jets’ head coach Bill Parcells.

The situation was a fourth down on the 5 yard line. Testaverde took the snap and barreled forward through a surprised Seattle defensive front. With Cortez Kennedy hanging on a leg and Jay Bellamy pounding the quarterback to the turf, the crown of Testaverde’s helmet had successfully crossed the goal line, however, the football in his grasp had failed to come within even a foot of the end zone.

Line judge Earnie Frantz, perhaps swept away by Jets players raising their arms and 72 thousand fans screaming their approval, signaled the touchdown. Moments later, referee Phil Luckett, who weeks earlier had blown a simple overtime coin toss in Detroit sparking another controversy and off-season rule change, followed suit, handing the Jets a victory they had failed to produce on the field.

The error was life-changing for more than one person on the field that day. The set-back gave the Seahawks their seventh loss of the season and ended their hopes of a playoff birth. It also meant the end of Dennis Erickson’s run as the head coach of the franchise and, with the sweeping change brought about by Mike Holmgren’s hiring, ended the Seattle careers for a number of Seahawks. It also meant the end of Phil Luckett as a referee, as he was later reassigned to back judge.

The next day, Dennis Erickson sought out a mortal explanation from NFL director of officiating, Jerry Seeman.

After apologizing to Erickson and admitting that the officials had made a mistake, Seeman explained that Frantz “saw the helmet go across the line and thought it was the ball.”

Why is such a painful memory on this list? Because, as it says above, this horrible play had the positive side-effect of bringing Holmgren and our current Golden Age to town. It still fucking sucked to live through, though. Cripes.

9. The 2nd most batshit crazy ending in Seahawks history (1996 Regular Season v. Houston)

Game tied at 16. Just one play left, and Houston's trying a 30-yard FG to win. Oh shit! It's blocked! Fuck! We picked it up! Jesus MOTHER OF FUCK! He's going to score!!!!!! We WINNNNNNN! WOOOOOOO! (That's pretty much all I remember from the 7-9 campaign of '96)

8. The Middle Screen Strikes Again (1988 Regular Season at L.A. Raiders)

In the final game of the 1988 season, the Seahawks had to win at L.A. to claim their first division title. The outcome was still in doubt in the 4th quarter when John L. Williams took a screen pass 80 yards for the TD that put the Raiders away for good. A year earlier, the same play led to a win at Chicago which ruined Walter Payton's retirement party.

7. The Birth of Josh Brown: Superkicker (2005 Regular Season v. Dallas)

After Big Play Babs picked off Bledsoe late in a 10-10 tie, Josh Brown ran onto the field to kick a 50-yarder to win as time ran out. JB's jubilant helmet toss is forever burned into my brain, because this was the first moment I truly believed the Hawks could go to the Super Bowl.

6. Romo Drops the Ball, Big Play Babs Brings Him Down (2006 Wild Card Playoff v. Dallas)



I don't need to add much to that, other than bragging that I WAS THERE, MAN!!! :-]

5. Largent gets Loose (1983 Divisional Playoff at Miami)

The Seahawks were 17-point underdogs to Marino and the Fins, and trailed 20-17 late in regulation when Steve Largent made his only two catches of the day; The 2nd one set up Curt Warner's game-winning touchdown and sent Seattle to the AFC Championship Game.

4. Largent destroys Harden (1987 Regular Season v. Denver)

See both ends of this story at the 1:45 mark of the youtube clip here:



In week one of the 1987 season, Mike Harden of the Broncos leveled Steve Largent with a dirty hit that broke #80's facemask and drew a huge fine. As you can see above, three months later at the Kingdome Largent went all Charles Bronson on Harden's orange ass.

3. Krieg to Skansi (1990 Regular Season at Kansas City)

You know this story.. I hope. The late, great Derrick Thomas sacks Dave Krieg SEVEN times, but somehow the Chiefs only hold a 16-10 late in the game. On the final play, from the KC 25, Krieg avoided Thomas for the first time all day and fired a missile to Paul Skansi between three KC defenders. TOUCHDOWN! SEAHAWKS WIN!!!! I jumped so high that I whacked my 15-year-old noggin on my basement ceiling, but it was worth it. This is the greatest play in Dave Krieg's illustrious Seattle career.

2. Mack Strong Runs Wild (2005 NFC Divisional Playoff v. Washington)

The Seahawks hadn't won a playoff game in 21 seasons, and DC put up enough of a fight to make things tense for all 60 minutes. The Hawks faced a 3rd down in the 4th quarter nursing a 17-10 lead, and Mack Strong tore off 38 yards on a draw play to set up Josh Brown's game-icing FG.

1. Hass to Seneca (2005 NFC Championship Game v. Carolina)

I was at the game, and the eruption of noise after Seneca Wallace hauled in Hasselbeck's perfect pass was among the loudest I've ever heard at Qwest. Coming from the mind of usually conservative coach Mike Holmgren, the deep pass to our back-up QB said "I am holding nothing back to get this team to the mother fuckin' Super Bowl." It doesn't hurt that Wallace made a sensational over-the-shoulder grab to beat former Hawk Ken Lucas. In the biggest NFL game ever played in Seattle, the Hawks dominated from this moment on.

Jerramy Stevens: Worst Seahawk Ever?

There was a time when I actually defended Jerramy Stevens, particularly in the period surrounding XL. "It wasn't his fault... He actually scored a touchdown! He made another big catch that was wiped out by that bullshit holding call on Locklear!"

Given the combination of sucky play and turdish behavior, even his defenders got sick of having his back... Now this Seattle Times article removes all doubt: Stevens is probably the worst human being to ever put on a Seahawks uniform. They're probably still trying to remove his foul stench from the locker room...

Which leads to the question: Who is the WORST Seahawk ever? In my mind, he has to have a combination of some of the following traits:

A) Performing far below expectations on the field (An undrafted free agent fucking up? It's hard to eat his lunch for that)
B) Getting into consistent and/or highly serious legal trouble
C) Making crucial mistakes at costly times
D) Selfish conduct which harmed the team

There's a poll up for y'all, but here's the nominees off the top of my head:

-Jerramy Stevens
-Brian Bosworth
-Rick Mirer
-Dan McGwire
-Lamar Smith

Debate and discuss in the comments, y'all..

DKSB's XLII Prediction Thread

Our XLII poll is already up on the sidebar, but I wanted to start a thread where we could go into more detail about the game...

The entire NYG organization (including the Chairman) seems to be running their mouths about how they are going to win XLII. Why the confidence?

-10 wins in a row on the road, and they are clearly treating this neutral site contest as a "road" game

-Eli Manning has started to actually play in a manner befitting his family name

-The NYG running game could exploit the older, slower New England linebackers

-The Giants should be able to put some pressure on a gimpy Tom Brady

-The Patriots have won their last 3 games by a total of 23 points; It seems like they can be had

All of this adds up to a close game, but not a NYG victory. The Patriots simply have too many weapons for the Giants to stop that offense completely, and I think a couple of deep bombs to Randy Moss help New England pull this one out late... It ends with Eli Manning throwing an INT in the New England end zone to Asante Samuel.

New York 3 7 0 7 - 17
New England 0 7 0 14 - 21

Scoring:

1st
NYG: Tynes 43 yard FG

2nd
NE: Samuel 46 yard INT return
NYG: Burress 53 yard pass from Manning

4th
NE: Moss 74 yard pass from Brady
NYG: Jacobs 1 yard run
NE: Moss 67 yard pass from Brady

MVP: Randy Moss (5 catches for 187 yards and 2 TDs)