"Yay! I made it through the game without Jaren Allen snapping my legs off!"
First a pre-game anecdote:
I was at Jimmy John's to get some lunch to bring to my lovely wife (if you're not familiar with this chain, they're better than Subway but not as good as Potbelly's), and since it was gameday I was dressed to the twelves, so to speak. The clerks were a pair of teenagers (or perhaps young adults), a guy and a girl. The whole transaction gets off to a rough start, when the female wage slave pulls this move on me:
Me: "Can I please get a-"
Yes, witty. No one's ever done that before. Maybe that's why so many people have dropped the "please" and just bark orders at you sarcastic little shits.... anyway... Then, when I try to pay in cash, she gives me a look like "Dude, I've got a lot of tables." She literally has to ask the male wage slave for help making change. At this point, I'm just trying to complete this transaction and get out of there with my food. While they are making my sandwiches, I go to the bathroom. When I get out, my sandwiches are ready, but no pickle. I point this out, and female wage slave says "Nick, this guy needs you to grab his pickle."
HARF DERP HARF!
So male wage slave wraps up a pickle, and out of nowhere tells me "you're lucky I'm even giving you a pickle, with what you are wearing."
Me: "What do you mean?"
MWS: "I hate the Seahawks."
Me: "What's your team?"
Now I'm expecting the reply to be Niners.. Rams... Cardinals... Raiders... Broncos... Hell, maybe even Steelers. His answer?
I go shithouse on the guy- "What could possibly be the connection between liking the Browns and hating the Seahawks?" Female wage slave muses "ooh! Touchy!" (Fuck you!) Male wage slave: "I dunno... I just hate them."
Me: "Well enjoy our old coach making your crappy team decent!"
The female wage slave sarcastically told me to have a nice day. Unfortunately, I was so blinded by rage I couldn't think of a pithy retort, so I just stormed out.
I can't tell you how often I run into completely unprovoked, random hostility towards the Seahawks... As I wrote in this space before, does this shit happen to fans of other teams? Feel free to share your tales of inexplicably intense hostility towards the Seahawks in the comments, friends.
Side note: Either I have met EVERY asshole in the Browns fan base, or I have to conclude that Cleveland fans are disproportionately ignorant, mean-spirited, bitter douchebuckets. Have fun with these guys, Coach Holmgren!
Onto the game: I don't have any insights more informed or novel than you'd find over at Field Gulls, but I'll say a few things anyway.
-Special teams seemed to take a step backwards this week, allowing too many big returns and missing a very make-able field goal.
-I feel like I've been saying this since about 1985, but our defense has to find a cure for its "can't get off the field on 3rd down" woes. Overall I think the defense is going to be MUCH improved compared to 2009, but this is our concern, dude.
-MVP today? Mansfield Wrotto. Thanks for keeping Matthew (and our season) intact.
-Did Kenny Easley hop in a Delorean back in 1985, show up in Minneapolis last night, and put on Earl Thomas' uniform?
-Fuck you Brett Favre. Three turnovers, no TDs. What an overrated pile of cat turds.
-What was up with the Seahawks radio crew's constant Favre slurping? Who the fuck do they think is the audience for that amongst Seahawks fans?
-When Mare missed that field goal, I swear I could hear Jim Mora swearing loudly at his TV...
-There are tons of things to nitpick about this performance, but I'm pleased. I think we're on track to royally fuck up SF week 1.
What do you think, sirs?
Programming note: I killed the new DKSB facebook page after it got hacked overnight. Fuck that. I don't need to deal with that shit... we're still going strong here, on twitter, and sometimes on Field Gulls, though!