January 25, 2008

Zorn v. Xenu?

It looks like Seahawks QB coach Jim Zorn has taken the offensive Co-ordinator job with DC. I'm sad to see him go, of course. I met him once, but I don't have the emotional connection to his Seahawks playing days that REAL old-timers have.

This of course means that he's got to deal with bugfuck loon owner Daniel Snyder, who notably tried to make his luxury suite so private at Qwest Field a few weeks ago that HE OBSTRUCTED THE VIEWS OF OTHER FANS. He was forced to back off, to the likely consternation of buddy/business partner/scientologist creep Tom Cruise.

I was thinking about this: Is the Redskins' coaching search taking so long because they're hooking up all the candidates to e-meters so their thetan levels can be checked? Did they pick Zorn up because Tom Cruise thinks he's some supernatural creature who could fight the evil nemesis of scientology: Xenu??

Maybe Snyder and Cruise thought they were hiring Christopher Walken's character from the Bond flick A View to a Kill? Max Zorin WAS pretty bad-ass until he took a loooong dive off the Golden Gate Bridge at the end:

In any case, good luck to Coach Zorn.. He'll need it now that he's moving to the NFL's most batshit crazy franchise east of Oakland.

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