February 26, 2008

We Fucking Own Dallas*



Ok, we're actually 4-6 all-time v. the Cowboys. But what about the 21st century? 3 and fucking 0 1, bitches.

Like any right-thinking NFL fan, I fucking hate Dallas. I hate Jerry Jones. I hate Tony Romo. I hate their dipshit Craphonso fan base. I hate the hole in their stadium's roof. I LOATHE Terrell Owens. I even hate Tom Landry's moldering hat. From every pore, they ooze smarmy arrogance and posess a sense of entitlement that comes off them in waves like B.O.

When Tony Romo dropped the ball? Well, that only could have happened to the great Romo because those sneaky Seahawks slipped him a lubed-up ball. That loss at Husky Stadium in 2001? Well, the boys didn't realize the game wouldn't be played in a dome, and they weren't ready for such wet, nasty, UNFAIR weather. That last minute loss in 2005? That was Bledsoe's fault. The great Romo would have pulled that one out.

...and Cowboys fans can go on like that. An underrated chapter in the Seahawks-Cowboys series happened in 2002. The Hawks were 1-5, and might as well have had "opponent" emblazoned on their unis because Emmitt "Blowed Up" Smith was going for the all-time rushing record.

Yeah, his dancing ass got the record; and Trent Dilfer left with a torn achilles tendon, forcing deposed starter Matt Hasselbeck back into action. In my mind, this has always been the genesis of Seattle's current success. After D-Jack was felled by a vicious, dirty hit Hass reportedly growled in the huddle afterwards:

"NOBODY FUCKING DOES THAT TO US!"

Beck led the Hawks to the winning FG, somewhat spoiling Emmitt's party and unofficially rebooting his Seattle career. Bite shit, Dallas.

Don't forget: We play at Dallas in the '08 regular season. :-]

*I forgot our 2004 Monday Night Football collapse against Dallas. Ugh. Hat tip to MS from Seahawk Addicts for reminding me. Fucking bullshit non-review on Keyshawn's ill-gotten touchdown.

1 comment:

Michael Steffes said...

I will be there, and when we win, I will risk my own personal safety to let Dallas fans know that I like them about as much as herpes outbreak. Don't forget the only time they did beat us recently, 94?, was when MESHAUN Johnson was out of bounds in the endzone, yet the replay official was smoking crack with Michael Irvin and didn't initiate a challenge. Bastards!