April 11, 2008

Soccer: Hate, Embrace or Tolerate?

Looks weird, doesn't it?

Well, get used to it because MLS is coming to town as the Seattle Sounders FC in 2009

(That color scheme doesn't look familiar or anything, does it?) :-]

At one extreme, you have those with a deep hatred of soccer, buying into the idea that soccer is all "high kickin, low scorin, and ties??? You betcha!" A lot of these guys are put off by the very foriegn-ness of soccer, and they will sometimes refer to soccer as being played by "fags" and/or "commies."

At the OTHER extreme, you have the assholes who front like they LOOOOOOOVE soccer (mainly of the basis OF its foriegn-ness... If they like it in Europe, it must be better than anything American sheeple enjoy!). These people will also enjoy telling you that in the rest of the world soccer is called "football." Anyone who tells you this is an insuffereable douchebag, and deserves a Robot-Chicken-esque beatdown.

I'm somewhere in the middle: I watched the World Cup (hell, I even went to a World Cup viewing party in Columbus back in 2006)

...and I even went to my share of Columbus Crew games (particularly on Buck-a-brat nights)

So what are the pros and cons of soccer?


-Injured players get left on the field for extended periods
-Usually cheap to go to a game; Money saved can be spent on beer
-Attractive women abound at soccer games, usually wearing Beckham jerseys
-Great excuse to bring a drum, horn or cowbell to a public place and make more noise than a pissed-off special ed kid
-Tie games remind us of the ambiguous nature of reality.. or something.


-Yeah, there usually isn't much scoring
-Players flop more blatantly than Glitter or Gigli
-Ties.. they really suck quite a bit.
-Watching any game in a 2/3rds empty stadium is kind of depressing

Personally, I think one reason soccer isn't bigger in the US is VERY simple.

We are used to having the #1 sports league on earth in every sport, and the MLS is more than a few notches below the Premier League...

So what do y'all think of the sport they love most in the rest of the world?


Michael Steffes said...

The LA Galaxy seem fairly popular in my neck of the woods, but nothing like when to club teams schedule a friendly here.

Either way, the only time i went to that stupid stadium was for a Dave Matthews concert. I know, it was a terrible idea, I have issues!

Michael Steffes said...

...and what is the stuff they spay on people that magically heals them...and why don' the Hawks use that on Pork Chop Womack