May 6, 2009

We'll get a shot at ruining ANOTHER Favre comeback

Let me set a scene for y'all...

Week 11 of the 2009 season... NBC flexes out a game between the Eagles and underachieving Bears in favor of a dust-up between two teams with a developing rivalry: Seahawks @ Vikings. It doesn't hurt that this is NBC's first opportunity to showcase Brett Favre in Minnesota Purple.

Both teams find themselves atop their respective divisions with 6-3 records, but the Vikings seem to be doing it in spite of their 40-year old QB, who is struggling with 14 interceptions against only 11 TD passes. Minnesota's brilliant defense and MVP-caliber RB Adrian Peterson keep the Vikings in the game, but Ken Lucas's late interception of an ill-advised deep ball to Percy Harvin seals a 20-16 win for the Seahawks. After an atrocious 3-int night, Favre is benched in favor of Sage Rosenfels, leading to a split in the Minnesota locker room and a 9-7 record.

The Vikings still edge Chicago and Green Bay for the NFC North, but once again lose at home in the Wild Card round, leading to the firing of Brad Childress.

The fact that the above scenario seems so plausible is just one reason Vikings fans are reacting to this clearly inevitable move like this... A key passage:

And now, as a final, personal FUCK YOU to every Viking fan like me who ever wished him dead, that fuckface is now going to make it so I have to root for him. I actually have to cheer when he goes and does something good. And that makes me hate his fucking guts all the more. Because now I’m supposed to buy into all his bullshit.

That fucking fuck.

Well, fine. If that’s the way it has to be, then so be it. I’ll root for you in a Vikings uniform, Favre. But just know that I will hate every goddamn minute of it. Just know that I will fucking hunt you down with a goddamn bow when you end up fucking us in the end. And you will fuck us.

Oh, I’ll cheer you on, you fucking Hollywood redneck cockpuller. I’ll pull for you every step of the way, you miserable shit volcano. I’ll cherish your token three good games during the season that make Collinsworth flood his pants, you blood-soaked pantyliner.

I’ll do all that that.

But I’ll never stop hating you.

Fuck you. Die.

I do have some sympathy for Vikings fans... Imagine if we had to deal with Elway coming to Seattle at the tail end of his career... Or with Roethlisberger replacing Hass? Or with Tom Flores becoming our head coach (oh wait.. that actually happened. Fuck you, Behring).

I'm sooo sick of Favre, but I hope this actually happens. It's nothing but good, hateful drama for the NFL... And we'll get another shot at not only fucking up Mr. Wrangler Jeans, but we'll do it at the expense of our most-hated non-divisional rival outside of Pittsburgh.

Stay tuned, y'all.


gonzhawk said...

I hate the fucking viqueens...

Steve said...

Goddamn can't he just fucking give it up already! Enough is enough, stay on your farm and cut your grass Forrest