July 30, 2009

It ain't nothin but the real up in the Northwest

Football season is almost here, and while that's a joyous occasion, it also means you have to put up with nattering bobbleheads who hate on our Seahawks.

There's a lot of stupid out there, but we can fight that with the light of knowledge. Mere facts won't convince your average mush-headed idiot out there, but we can fight the good fight anyway. We can be the SMART passionate fans.

A few years back, I was in Rhode Island for a job interview at a small liberal arts school. I had to do a presentation in front of a class, so I got there early and tried to make small talk with the students. A kid in the front row was wearing a Patriots t-shirt, so I started things off with "sorry about the AFC Championship... your guys played their guts out."

(This was immediately after New England's loss to Indy before XLI... What can I say? I was trying to be nice)

The kid mumbled something, then asked "what team do you like?"

I held up my Seahawks Season Ticket Holder Messenger Bag (which has now become Daddy's diaper bag), and this little shit, in sullen teenager fashion, scoffed "Heh. Sorry."

I could have, and should have, let it go. But I couldn't. I went off.

"Yeah, it sucks to root for the team with the 3rd best record in the NFL since 2003, who has gone to the playoffs four years in a row, won three division titles and has gone to the Super Bowl. Yup. Sucks to be me."

/dripping, hateful sarcasm

He just stared at me like I had jabbed him with a cattle prod for a minute, while I found a Red Sox fan to talk to.

By the way.. didn't get that job.

The point? Arm yourself with knowledge. Know your enemies. Know the embarrassing details about their teams. Be ready to counterpunch when they bring up some lazy media cliche about the Seahawks. Don't EVER agree when someone offhandly says "Seahawks Suck." Interrogate them, then smile while you eviscerate them. If you are pessimistic about the team, or have a shitty negative attitude about the Seahawks, keep it to yourself, slappy.

Don't leave any doubt about this: Like Sir Mix-A-Lot once said, Seattle Aint Bullshittin.

1 comment:

DKSB said...

is today's experiment... Join me in delivering the smackdown... Keep it factual, dawgs. Represent well.