December 12, 2008

I am a bitter, spiteful bastard.

The Seahawks season is deader than Gov. Blago's career, and the Cardinals already have the NFC West crown wrapped up. So why will I be rooting hard for Minnesota and New England to beat the Cards the next two weeks, setting us up for a "big" season finale in Glendale?

I want those little red flying douchers to finish 8-8.

Why do I care? Let me count the ways...

1. The Seahawks at least managed 9-7 each year they've made the playoffs. We never snuck in tainted by utter mediocrity.

2. The hot, sexy Cards, who are SOOOOOOO much better in 2008, went 8-8 last year. If they win the west at 8-8, it will only because the rest of the division suuuuucked, not because they got any better.

3. If they go 8-8 and get plowed in the first round by a team like TB, ATL or Philly, they'll finish with a losing record for the year... Sweeeeeet.

At 8-8, the Cards' NFC West title banner better come with an asterisk.

*Hoo Boy, we actually were just fucking average that year.

So, if we have a chance to make 8-8 happen, I don't care if it costs us a couple of spots in the draft. I'd love to spend the winter reminding AZ "fans" they they barely suck less than we do.



Alan said...

I agree to a certain extent here, but I'll withhold judgment until the Cardinals lose in the postseason. Those 9-7 teams were very frustrating, underachieving ballclubs, but they at least won a game in the playoffs. We'll see if the Cards can do that.

Aaron said...

Well, you're going to get your wish to face an 8-7 Cards team next week. The Pats are leading 38-0 one minute into the second half. New England might set a single game scoring record this afternoon, because AZ isn't even trying anymore, and we all know Belichick has no mercy.

We're doing our part, now you do yours. Please beat the Jets this afternoon, Seahawks. Thanks in advance.