December 6, 2008

The World's Tallest Midget

With four games left, I'm already calling it: John Carlson is the Seahawks' 2008 MVP (or, more accurately... LCP: Least Crappy Player). As said perfectly on

In the season’s final four games, Carlson needs just 9 receptions, 99 yards and three touchdowns to set franchise highs by a tight end in those categories. Carlson has been one of the lone bright spots on offense this season, leading the team with 38 receptions, 456 yards and 3 touchdowns. If Carlson continues to lead the team in receiving, he’ll be the 1st Seahawks rookie to do so since 1995 (Joey Galloway)

JC is going to be an all-pro tight end in this league, and will be a reliable target for Seahawks QBs for the next decade or so. However, being MVP/LCP in one of the worst seasons in franchise history is a sort of dubious honor... Kinda like these "honors"

-First Steelers Fan Able to Read at a High School Level

-Loudest St. Louis Rams Fan

-First Raiders Fan to use Deodorant

-Best Chicago Bears Quarterback Ever

-All-time greatest Chicago/STL/Phoenix/Arizona Cardinals Playoff Victory

-Greatest Minnesota Vikings Super Bowl Performance

-Least Arrogant Redskins Fan

Add more in the comments, y'all!


Aaron said...

Hmmm... Jets fan with Fewest Pinkie Rings? Least Back Hair?

Longest Tenured Indianapolis Colts Fan? (If you ever meet a Hoosier who says their fandom predates Peyton Manning's rookie season, they are lying.)

So, it looks like you and I are enemies this week. After that clusterfuck against the Steelers last week, we need to run the table to have a prayer of making the playoffs, and your Hawks are in the way.

Oh well, we'll always have the Red Sox, my friend.

DKSB said...

I can honestly say I've never been less optimistic about the Seahawks chances in a regular season game, but I'll still watch out of twisted obligation.

Seriously, a Seattle win tomorrow would be one of the biggest upsets in the history of EITHER franchise.

Aaron said...

Please. Biggest upset? The Pats are in freefall, and it's not even the Brady loss that's really killing them right now. Sure, losing the MVP was a crusher, but they've also lost their top three running backs, three secondary starters, and top two linebackers. So I can totally sympathize with the injury barrage your Hawks have endured.

Hell, they just re-signed Junior Seau again. He's 63 years old, and he'll probably be starting today! If the Hawks are smart, they'll run that rookie tight end on pass patterns right at Seau on every down. He couldn't cover my grandmother right now!