August 13, 2009

A Complete and Total Barf-O-Rama

I know it's football, and that we are all starved for hot NFL action, but I just can't watch this Steelers-Cardinals game on ESPN tonight. I'm just not in the mood to watch ESPN tongue bathe our most hated rival for three hours, with the added possibility of further Kurt Warner mythologizing (yes, we get it, he used to bag groceries) and moronic speculation about Ruskell signing Mike Vick.

It might be fun to see if Jon Gruden lets an f-bomb fly during the broadcast, but we aren't even likely to see any significant injuries with the starters playing so sparingly.

Side note: You might think it's crass to root for injuries. If so, you don't understand the realities of the NF-F**king-L. No one cut us a damn bit of slack last year when half our team was carted off on stretchers... I don't want anyone to suffer a life-threatening, debilitating injury, but would I be happy if Kurt Warner or Larry Fitz were knocked out for a niiiiiice looooong stretch of the season? HELL. YES. I. WOULD.

Like they said in Robocop, "That's life in the big city."

Anyway, I'm gonna go see District 9 at midnight tonight... maybe the aliens will destroy Pittsburgh... A guy can dream, right?

No comments: