August 23, 2009

The Ohio Hawk Sox will Maul/Strangle Your Fantasy Football Team (UPDATED WITH ROSTER)

I really don't want to be one of those guys who bores everyone with blather about his fantasy team (cough... Tony Kornheiser... cough), but since today is my league's draft I thought I'd do ONE post about this stuff.

I used to stay away from Fantasy Football like it was H1N1, because I hated the conflicts of interest it created for me. "Fuck! Torry Holt just scored! The Seahawks are losing! But my fantasy team is winning!" So for a long spell, I was out like gout.

What pulled me back in? Running my own league, y'all. Even if my team loses, I get a big nerd thrill out of setting the rules up, administering the league... You know, like being The Rog. Plus, I just don't pick players from teams I hate... So no Steelers, Rams, Niners, Cardinals, Raiders, Broncos, or Cowboys will besmirch the Hawk Sox roster this season.

You might reply... "That's fantasy suicide, brah! That's like a quarter of the league!" I'd smack you for saying "brah," then lay this science on you: I did that last year and still won the gorram league championship. Sure, it was only because Drew Brees went all Dr. Manhattan on the whole NFL, but I'll take it.

I'll let you know how my roster shakes out tonight, but I'll try to keep my fantasy boasting/whining confined to twitter and/or facebook for the balance of the season.

Anyone else in fantasy leagues? Drop your team names on me in the comments... Here's a few Seahawks-related ones I came up with:

-Leavy Punchers
-Terrible Towel Wipers
-Alex Smith's Shoulder of Despair
-I Speak Twelvish
-Holmgren's Bucket of Smelt
-Score Composed by John L. Williams
-Jim Zorn's Giant Box of Porn
-Mike Harden's Concussed Brainpan
-The Phantom Touchdowns
-Falling Kingdome Tiles of Doom

Would you like to know more?

UPDATE: The Roster
Please note that this is a 16 team league with rosters of 16 (256 player draft)...

QB Tom Brady, Patriots
WR Andre Johnson, Texans
RB Darren Sproles, Chargers
TE John Carlson, Seahawks
W/R Chad Ochocinco, Bengals
W/R Wes Welker, Patriots
K Lawrence Tynes, Giants
D Seattle Seahawks

RB Julius Jones, Seahawks
RB Ricky Williams, Dolphins
WR Derrick Mason, Ravens
WR Joshua Cribbs, Browns
WR Johnnie Lee Higgins, Raiders
TE Billy Miller, Saints
QB Jake Delhomme, Panthers
D Houston Texans

Ok, so one Raider slipped in there... at least we don't play them in the regular season...


tr3pidation said...

I'm lucky, my name is Seth so I just use Sethhawks for my fantasy leagues, and madden stuff.

Chris Trimis said...

I have two teams, both are "We Want the Ball".

Chris Trimis said...

By the way, hate to break it to you but you have no running game whatsoever barring an injury to L.T...
Love the WRs though.

DKSB said...

I will likely end up starting Julius Jones most weeks.. I always go minimal on RBs, and it's worked ok... Was 2nd in this league in '07, and won it in '08.

Chris Trimis said...

Nice, well FFB is going more towards the way of big play WRs as there are few every down backs left in the league. I think that this is the year where "experts" realize that late first round should be prime time WR and QB time.