August 28, 2009

Mark Tye Turner is our Chairman Mao. This is the Twelve Army's Little Red Book.

I've had the awesome privilege to get an advance copy of Notes from a 12 Man: A Truly Biased History of the Seattle Seahawks by Mark Tye Turner. I can say without hyperbole that not only is this the best book ever written about the Seattle Seahawks, it's one of the best sports books I've ever read, period. Full stop.

Take that, Ball Four!

A lot of people throw around the term "required reading" when it comes to a book they like... I truly believe that the Seahawks should buy up about 60,000 copies of this tome, bundle them up with the 2010 season ticket packages, and then quiz everyone on the book. Don't pass the quiz? You don't set foot in Qwest. Ok, that might just be seven years as a college professor talking (goddamnit, do the fucking reading, you lazy shits!), but you get my drift.

My initial reaction to reading this book was "well, I'm boned." Why? Because Turner somehow gained access to every Seahawks memory in my twisted little mind, but then expressed those thoughts more clearly, and funnier. If I ever want to write a book, it better be about my obsession with 1980s Cold War movies now. Cripes.

Turner and I share not only Seahawks fandom, but we both matriculated at Western Washington University. In one exceptional passage in the book, Turner mentions how his first two years of college freedom in Bellingham somewhat softened the blow of the Seahawks' epic suckage in 1980-1981. In 1993-1994 I had the EXACT same experience, and both of us worked at KUGS-FM a little more than a decade apart...

You might think this is just one Viking scratching the hairy, pillaging back of another with a fawning review... My initial retort would be "bite shit!" After that, I'd probably apologize and try to get you to read this book.

It covers not only the entire history of our team, but also EVERY LITTLE THING that us Twelves complain about... 10 am East coast games... Arrowhead Stadium... XL... It's ALL in there. Turner also writes in a punchy style that is inviting to casual fans as well as the hard core. If you're a season ticket holder, you can use this to brush up on your knowledge of the team.... If you want to make your nephew a Seahawks fan, give him this book. If you want your significant other to understand why you are a Twelve, give him/her/your Repliee Q1 Expo Robot a copy, and then they might get it.

When I was younger, Fred Moody's Fighting Chance deepened my love of the Seahawks. Before I grew up and realized that he was a bitter twisted hack reveling in failure and negativity, Dan Shaughnessy's Curse of the Bambino helped my love of the Boston Red Sox blossom.

Mark Tye Turner's Notes from a 12 Man: A Truly Biased History of the Seattle Seahawks is this generation's Fighting Chance/Curse of the Bambino. I command you to pre-order it now, or line up at your local bookstore to buy a copy on September 9.


Zem said...

Damn, the fucker stole my idea.

hfmoody said...

Boy, was it ever a relief to read that "bitter twisted hack" referred to Shaughnessy....

KB said...

Moody, we all know you're no hack. I've been reading you for years - especially loved "Seattle and the Demons of Ambition: A Love Story." Keep on keepin' on, dude.