Top 5: Seahawks beat Chiefs!

There is very little for Seahawks fans to brag about when it comes to our history against the Kansas City Chiefs. Aside from cool nostalgia value, that clip of Seattle's 1978 win at Arrowhead is photographic evidence of one of only FIVE Seahawks wins in TWENTY-FIVE trips to Kansas City. Even in front of the home crowd, Seattle is an unimpressive 13-11 all-time versus the Chiefs.... That adds up to 18-31, or a .367 winning percentage.

Side note: Want some evidence why you should thank the league for moving us to the NFC West? Seattle's all-time winning percentage v. AFC West teams? .424

Against our current NFC West foes since 2002? .619

Anyway, this record of futility and despair makes the few aberrant Seattle wins all the sweeter... Here is the top 5:

5. 11/21/99 Seahawks 31, Chiefs 19
4. 11/26/99 Seahawks 23, Chiefs 14
That game in KC was the high-water mark for the 1999 Seahawks. It was only the 5th Seattle win at Arrowhead EVER, and it ran the Seahawks' record to a gaudy 8-2. After such an emphatic win at the Seahawks' Temple of Doom, I started figuring out how I could scrape together the time and money for a road trip from Columbus to Atlanta in January, because my Hawks were XXXIV bound, and my geeky ass was going to be there.

It turned out that Ricky Watters' infamous throat-cutting gesture after the game-sealing run at Arrowhead was predicting Seattle gurgling from a gaping neck wound for the next month, not the demise of the Chiefs. The Hawks were 8-2, and the Chiefs were a lackluster 5-5. Over the next month, while the Seahawks plummeted into a dark, cold abyss, KC marauded through its schedule destroying anyone in their way.

I was in attendance at the Kingdome's final regular season contest, and the Seahawks entered the game in a completely zombified state. Seattle hadn't won since Arrowhead, and it looked like Mike Holmgren's first season would end in a historic collapse, particularly with the streaking Chiefs coming to town on a four-game WINNING streak.

Look, I'm not a moron. I know the players are the ones who scored the points, who made the tackles, etc. But on that day, you couldn't shake the feeling that 64,000 Seahawks fans would simply not allow the guys wearing blue to lose. The ONLY game where the Twelve Army was ever louder than Boxing Day 1999 was the 2005 NFC Championship, and the Chiefs, an otherwise solid team that year, was obviously and absolutely freaked the fuck out by the atmosphere in the Dome.

Elvis Grbac was less poised than a meth addict, chucking three picks and making Kitna look competent in comparison. Even with this uplifting win, the Hawks would start hibernating again the next week, getting shanked by the Jets on the road and needing an OT FG from THE FUCKING RAIDERS to win the AFC West on the basis of this head-to-head sweep over KC. Then the Hawks would send the Kingdome into retirement (in the way replicants in Blade Runner were "retired") with an embarrassing Wild-Card loss to the ancient Marino and his unremarkable Dolphins.

Jesus, 1999 sucked, didn't it?

3. 11/4/84 Seahawks 45, Chiefs 0
Your usual NFL blowout quickly becomes a turgid, boring affair. Whether your team is ahead or behind by 30+ points, watching Lonely Island youtube clips suddenly becomes a very tempting option. This particular game was quite different...

It was a competitive game into the second quarter. In fact, KC was deep in Seattle territory and only trailed 3-0 when Dave Brown snagged an errant throw and raced 90 yards the other way for Seattle's first touchdown.

Then it was Keith Simpson going 76 yards for another defensive TD, and the rout was on like a bad check from Homer J. Fong. As if to more deeply humiliate KC's quarterbacks, Dave Krieg threw two touchdowns to guys wearing the same Seattle uni he sported, and it was 31-0 at halftime.

While Coach Knox mercifully tried to shorten the game by calling almost nothing but running plays, the Chiefs kept throwing it and Seahawks defenders kept scoring touchdowns... One more for Brown in the 3rd, and one for DPOY Kenny Easley in the 4th.

THREE KC quarterbacks combined to deliver six interceptions to Seattle DBs. Hell, Terry Taylor snagged two but that ninny couldn't find his way to the end zone even once. Loser. Seattle's four interception returns for TDs in a single game is still a league record.

2. 11/27/83 Seahawks 51, Chiefs 48 (OT)
This is still probably the most entertaining regular season game in team history. The Hawks came in 6-6, and needed a win to keep any hope of postseason play alive. At the half, the Chiefs led 28-14. Early in the 4th, they led 42-31... But the Seahawks never stopped digging those talons into the red flesh of the KC invaders...

Chuck Knox used rookie stud Curt Warner as a blunt instrument of trauma, feeding him the ball 32 times. The former Nittany Lion rewarded his coach by gobbling up 207 yards rushing and notching three touchdowns... However, the story of Seattle's amazing 1983 season probably has a very different ending if KC had converted a PAT attempt late in the 4th quarter. Instead of Theotis Brown's TD giving the Chiefs a 49-45 lead, it was only 48-45. Norm Johnson made one 42 yard kick as time expired to tie the game, and another in OT to give Seattle a season-saving triumph.

1. 11/11/90 Seahawks 17, Chiefs 16
I just talked about this once-in-an-epoch win recently... Here's what I had to say:


Thomas couldn't QUITE wrap up Mudbone for that 8th sack, could he? That loss would ultimately cost KC the AFC West title, a home game in the playoffs and a first-round bye. Heh.

At the time I was a snot-nosed 15 year old poppin' my pimples in Richland, WA. My mom let me turn our basement TV room into a "Seahawks Cave" during football season, with posters, banners, newspaper clippings, and so on blanketing the walls.

We were getting ready to move to Kennewick, and that day the realtor was having an open house (yes, my little punk-ass insisted on staying put to watch the Hawks that day rather than, you know, watching the game elsewhere). The whole tribe was packed into the "Seahawks Cave", and when Krieg hit Skansi for the winning TD we all went completely luggage-throwin'-ape-shit. I jumped so high I hit my head on the roof of the basement, and the realtor came running downstairs thinking that we were murdering each other or something... All we could do was scream incoherently and point at the TV. We didn't get any offers on the house that day, obviously.

Fun fact: after that joyous day in 1990, the Seahawks would lose 14 out of their next 15 games against the Chiefs. That single win in 1994? By one goddamn point.

My god, just get out of Arrowhead without any major injuries this Saturday, guys. Why do we even agree to play these guys in the preseason at this point? Thankfully we don't have to play there in the regular season again until 2014...