January 16, 2009

Disaster Preparedness

Seahawks fans have to start mentally preparing for an almost unthinkable nightmare: A Super Bowl between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals. There's better than even odds that at least ONE team will make it to XLIII, and a non-trivial chance that both gaggles of buttsores will get to Tampa.

If both teams make it, we're screwed.

First, two weeks of fawning media worship for Pittsburgh... Prepare to hear the word "dynasty" get thrown around (even though two titles in four years is hardly a dynasty... and that's coming from a Red Sox fan). There will be open talk of Roethlisberger's chances for the Hall of Fame if he gets a second ring (even though his QB rating in XL was, what? 22?). There will be little or no talk about how fucked the officiating was in XL, and if there is, it will be dismissed as Seattle "whining."

The Cardinals would get much less media coverage as huge underdogs to Pittsburgh, but I assure you it will be annoying as fuck. They'll be portrayed as lovable losers, and Kurt Warner's story will be dug up, reanimated and shoved back up in all of our grills. Ugh.

Then the game... Do you root for those Pittsburgh Dickbags to get that 6th ring? Or do you root for the Cardinals, whose "fans" would never ever shut up about how "they got the job done against Pittsburgh" the way we couldn't?

Apocalyptic, no?

We might get lucky and only see ONE of those squads of thumbdicks in XLIII, which gives us.. Hooray! A clear rooting interest, whether it's the Eagles over Pittsburgh or the Ravens over Arizona. But then Arizona or Pittsburgh could still get that Lombardi Trophy, which would haunt our dreams until next fall.

A Ravens/Eagles XLIII would be the only sure way to preserve our collective sanity, but it seems unlikely. Thus, we must mentally prepare ourselves for the worst possible outcomes...

-Skipping XLIII? Some people might do this, but I just can't. It's the Super Bowl, plus in a sick way I feel like I'd need to bear witness.

-Media Blackout? That's an option, but I never stick to it.

-Catching up on your movie-watching before the Oscars? That's a decent distraction, and I'm probably going to do that anyway.

What do y'all think? How are you planning to cope if XLIII ends up as our "Worst Case Scenario?"

1 comment:

Misfit said...

I would have to hope the game was decided by a clear-cut, abominable gaffe of officiating causing Pittsburgh to lose, yet Arizona not able to, with clear conscience claim victory. This, only to have the game's final verdict later reversed. After reviewing and correcting said game-deciding call, the Lombardi trophy is removed from the Cardinals and handed to the Stealers, who again take their rightful place in Stealer history.