March 13, 2008

"Is that Elizabeth's Husband?"

I was out for dinner at McDonalds tonight with my wife and kid, and of course I was rocking my Matt Hasselbeck jersey (gotta represent, right?). Remember... I'm out here in the wilderness of Illinois, caught in the no-man's-land between the Bears' and Rams' territories...

While I'm trying to enjoy my Shamrock Shake, this soccer-mom type taps me on the shoulder and asks "excuse that Elizabeth's husband?" Thankfully, things like this had happened before. I knew I was dealing with a fan of The View, which meant that all she knew about the NFL was probably picked up from four jabbering TV wenches.

As cordially as I could, I said "no, this is her brother-in-law." Then she touched my sleeve and asked "what team is that??" Holding in my rising annoyance, I said "Seahawks." Then she asks "Who does Elizabeth's husband play for?"

"The Cardinals... and he doesn't ever actually play. Matt's actually the much better player," I WANTED to say that Tim Hasselbeck sucks more balls than Kristen from The Emperor's Club, and that one of the myriad reasons I hate The View is that it makes stay-at-home moms think that Tim is a competent NFL QB. Unfortunately there were kids around, so I kept it clean.

Then she says... "Oh. That's not how she makes it sound on The View."

Of course not. :-] But now there's one more midwestern housewife who knows who runs the QB racket in the Hasselbeck clan though, huh? Take that!

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