March 25, 2008
Special Amenities of New Seahawks HQ
This summer the Hawks will move into their new HQ/Training Camp in Renton... What does being owned by a Sci-Fi nerd richer than Scrooge McDuck get you?
-Holodeck (Intended use: gameplanning next week's opponent. Actual use: virtual sex with the cheerleader from Heroes.... Let's hope Brian Russell doesn't go all Lt. Barclay on us)
-Pre-cogs (Let the Patriots use primitive videotape to steal the enemy's signals.. We've got three psychics in a tub of goo to do that for us!)
-You know those guitars that are like, double guitars? We've got tons of those.
-Cyberball arcade game... TJ Duckett will be extra motivated in short yardage situations with a ball about to go "critical" on him.
-Bottomless Pit (for all intents and purposes)
-House band? Presidents of the United States of America (hey, they can competently fight ninjas!)
-The cafeteria serves cheese zombies every day.. Yum!
-Giant Mao-like murals of Tim Ruskell everywhere
-Time machine (Upside: Can change result of Super Bowl XL, kill Sara Connor... Downside? Might create tangent universe where Jake Gyllenhall gets to nail Jena Malone but DOESN'T get crushed by a jet engine in his sleep... or something like this could happen too...)
Personally, I think the holodeck will really help attract free agents. :-]