March 3, 2008
I feel ya, Sonics fans.
As I've said here before, I'm an asshole. One bit of evidence to support this is the 1996 NBA finals. I was going to college at Western, and at the end of my junior year I was still living in the Fairhaven dorms (they're really fucking sweet dorms.. plus, I lost my v-chip in March of 96 at that dorm, so it must have had good mojo).
While everyone else showed up to watch the Sonics battle the Bulls dressed in Seattle regalia, there I was in my MJ jersey. I relished playing the villain, and was a total dick about it to boot. I even taunted a female friend's MOM about those finals.
That doesn't mean I lack sympathy for Sonics fans right now. They're all but certain to lose their team soon, as its scalawag ownership prepares to leave the nation's fourteenth largest media market for the 45th biggest (fuck you, OKC). You can read some Sonic fan reactions here...
We all went through this in 1996 (not that long before the Sonics played in the NBA finals), when Ken Behring announced his intention to move the Seahawks to L.A.
Shit.. That fat old fuck even moved the team's equipment down south, and it was only the intervention of Paul Allen that prevented the Seattle Seahawks from becoming the L.A. Blackhawks (or some other dumbfuck new name). There was no way I could stay loyal to the organization if they moved. I even went through the mental progression of picking out a new team to root for, in case the apocalypse actually happened. The finalists were:
I eventually settled on New England, because I loved Drew Bledsoe and I was already a Red Sox fan. Thankfully it never came to that; Allen bought the team and I became a season ticket holder when he slashed the price of upper-deck end zone tickets to $10 in 1997. Those seats are $37 now, but they'll have to pry them from my cold, dead hands.
We are lucky enough to root for one of the best organizations in sports. We have a billionaire owner who is smart enough not to meddle, and we have the best stadium in the NFL. We also have a hall-of-fame coach and a team that is a legit Super Bowl contender.
Before we bitch and moan about how free agency is going, remember those dark days of 1996, and how close we came to the pain Sonics fans are about to endure.
Sorry, my basketball-loving brethren... You don't deserve this shit. Maybe this youtube clip of Shawn Kemp dunks will cheer you up?